Monday Musings

The Governor of Louisiana had asked that President Obama, Hillary and Trump not come down to his state because it would only be a distraction from the actual helping of the families in need.  President Obama and Hillary of course complied, but Little DICK-tator Donnie who has never passed up a photo op, jumped on his All Hot Air Force Uno and immediately flew to Louisiana. 

By looking at the gushing on FaceBook from the Trump Supporters imbeciles you would have thought he had cured cancer, but all he did was show up and hand out some socks and a box of play dough for kids. One of my favorite gushes, and you have to say this in a high whinny voice, was “well, he was doing something”.  Yes he got his picture taken and that was all he did. Mr. Hugely, incredibly rich, didn’t leave a dime. What an asshole.

Look who is advising Trump on Foreign policy now.  It’s Dumber Than Palin Michele (I’m Happy, But My Husband Is Really Gay) Bachman.  

Michele thinks that all Muslims should be sent back to Muslim.

I came across a great article titled “Dear Republicans, you deserve this.” You might have seen it, but in case you missed it, you can read it here.

   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

Former Congressmoron Michele (I Really Am Dumber Than Sarah) Bachman keeps saying extremely stupid things so she can keep her name in the public eye. This week she went on the radio and blamed Obama for the end of the world coming. I don’t get it. I thought the evangelicals were all for the rapture so why isn’t she thanking Obama instead of blaming him. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Personally I’ll be glad as hell when the rapture comes and we will be rid of all of these boneheads.

The fine folks in Parma, Missouri have figured out a way to rid their city council and police department of racist assholes.. They voted in a black woman for mayor and the city’s attorney, the clerk, waste water treatment plant manager and five out of the six members of the police department resigned. Way to go Parma.

Well I guess Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Rhymes with Fidel) Edwardo Cruz is not the Koch brothers favorite step-son after all. Looks like Wisconsin Governor Scott (Street) Walker is has been anointed the number one Koch-Head.  He certainly fits into their anti-government, anti-women, anti-union, anti-immigration, anti-same sex marriage, anti-education view of the world.   

Little Scotty hasn’t officially thrown his hat in the ring yet and there is still the chance that he may not. Back in 2006, Scott told everyone that God told him not to challenge Jim Doyle for governor.  I understand Scotty is hanging by the phone waiting for his orders.

Robert (At Least I’m Not Norman) Bates, the old rich guy who bought his way into being a reserve deputy on the Tulsa, Oklahoma police dept so he could shoot unarmed black people for practice, plead not guilty yesterday and immediately left for a vacation in the Bahamas. It’s a good thing ole Robert didn’t have to go before Judge Judy because she would have made him vacation in Harlem. Remember their state motto: Oklahoma is Okie Dopey.

If you were wondering what happened to former Air Force veteran Michelle (Let Me Wrap Myself in the American Flag) Manhart who was detained by police in Valdosta, Ga for wrestling a American flag away from some student protesters this week. It seems she just wanted to take it home and wear it.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Former ambulance chaser and current Koch brothers step-son, Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Rhymes With Fidel) Edwardo Cruz likes to be called Teddy,. He says it’s his favorite article of clothing because it makes him feel all frilly under his suit. Anyway little Teddy seems to have a problem on deciding which side of the fence he is on.  He goes on CNN and says that Global Warming is a hoax and then scares a little girl to tears by saying, “your world’s on fire.”   Make up your mind Rafael Teddy, its one or the other.

Little Teddy is also against same-sex marriage.  He believes in the traditional biblical marriage of one man and multiple women.    

Treasonous Teddy also thinks the 2^nd amendment gives people the right to overthrow the government. Since he is part of the government, I say we throw his dumbass out.

Former Governor of Arkansas and blowhard talk show host, Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee has announced that he will announce if he is going to run for President again sometime in May.  There have got to be 6 maybe 10 million, thousand, hundred, people who are waiting with baited breath on this one.  

Ohio Governor John (I’m Waiting By The Phone) Kasich said over the weekend he is waiting for the Lord to tell him if he should run for President. So far the Lord hasn’t picked a winner yet. I remember him telling Michele (I’m Even Dumber Than Sarah) Bachman, Herman (Nein, Nein, Nein) Cain and Rick ( I Need To Be In A) Santorum that they should run.  

I predict that by the time the primaries start next year, every single person in the Republican Party will be running for President. What the Republican Party really needs to do is find someone to run who has a normal name. I mean enough with the cutesy  Mitt’s, Newt’s Jeb’s and Rand’s. I’m surprised they haven’t run a Skip, Biff or Dub by us.

I just saw a headline on the internet that said “Has the Tea Party lost its touch?”  My question is when was the Tea Party ever in touch?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, Monday

Here it is Memorial Day and time to remember our veterans. It is very sad that Congress doesn’t seem to be able to do that. 41 Republicans last week voted against a bill to extend veteran’s benefits. The bill of course failed.

 

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz hears voices. Last week little Teddy said, “I just do what God tells me to do. He speaks to me. Literally. In my head.”  Just think how many poor souls who hear voices are in mental hospitals, but this asshole is in Congress.  Go figure.

Here is a grand example of a Christian leader. Reginald (Warden) Miller, the president and founder of Cathedral Bible College is being charged with using foreign students as slave labor.  He would threaten to cancel foreign students' visas if they did not work long hours for little pay. Sounds like a Republican to me.

I just saw a list of speakers for the Republican Leadership Conference to be held in New Orleans next week.  Herman (Nein, Nein, Nein) Cain, Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin, Donald (Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow) Trump, Liz (My Daddy is a Dick) Cheney, Michele (I’m Happy but My Husband is Gay) Bachman, Rick( All Hair, No Integrity) Perry and Newt (Newt is Short for Neutered) Gingrich.  I think there must have been a typo; I believe they meant Republican Lemmings Conference.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Back In The Saddle

 I had an unplanned road trip pop up this past week so I was away from my computer, but I am pretty sure these people said some really dumb things.  Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry, Louie (I Really am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert, Pat ( I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson, Michele (I Am Nuts and My Husband is Gay) Bachman, Gregg (Hell on Wheels) Abbott, Tom (I Used to be the Hammer, Now I’m the Nail) DeLay and Sean (I’m Not as Tall as Bill O’Reily, but I am Just as Big an Asshole) Hannity. I don’t have a clue what any of these boneheads had to say last week, but I’d be willing to bet the farm that if they opened their mouth, stupid came out.

The Ku Klux Klan in South Carolina has announced that they are having a KKK Jam Rally this summer.  I understand they will be having a number of workshops. 

• Which Bible scriptures you can use to get out of any jam. 
• Cross Burning 101
• 
  
• What the thread count of your sheets say about you.
• How to justify hating Obama and loving the Lord
• KKK talking points. Killing, Kerosene, King James Bible

And they have quite a line-up of bands performing. 

The Rolling Stone-U-To-Death

U2, but Not U-Two

Guns N’Ropes

Van Hateful

The Who Cares

Red Hot Chili Pinheads

White Sabbath

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Morning Quarterback

According to the latest polls Ted (Head Kochroach) Cruz is the leader of the Republican Party. This is probably the best news the Democrats have had in years. Let’s look back at some of the early poll leaders in Republican Party over the last few years.  There was Rudy Giuliani, Michele Bachman, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Rand Paul, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, John McCain and of course Sarah Palin. Talk about a who’s who of losers.

The LAX shooter was carrying a “manifesto” associated with the antigovernment “patriot” movement.  Hmmm, sounds like he was a member of the Tea Party.  After all the Tea Party mostly consists of illiterate, gun toting, racist wrapped up in the American flag and spewing biblical crap who couldn’t spell Tea Party if you spotted them the T and A.

It appears that 60 Minutes has egg all over its face, the large 4 egg omelet kind. Last weeks interview with a man who said he was a security officer who witnessed the attack has turned out to be all lies.  According to his official report that he turned after the attack, he wasn’t even there. Even Fox News turned this guy down after he wanted money. I mean if the boneheads at Faux News turned down a chance to slam Hilary and the White House, you know this guy was pulling a Cruz. 

Mitt (I Was Wrong, 51% Didn't Vote for Me) Romney said Sunday that President Barack Obama’s "fundamental dishonesty" on the Affordable Care Act has “put in peril the whole foundation of his second term.”  Wow, I guess that puts Obama’s third term in office in real jeopardy..

I just saw a headline that said, Man pepper-sprays a woman, steals her monkey.  Is that code for something?




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday's Monologue

George (Quick-Draw McGraw) Zimmerman is being held by the Florida police for threatening to shoot his wife and father-in-law.  George said it was complications from a medical condition he had. He said it had been awhile since he had shot someone and just had a really itchy trigger finger.  


The S.W.A.T team in Pine Bluff Arkansas killed a 107 year old resident of a nursing home in shoot-out over the week-end.  They said they had no choice; the man had barricaded himself in his room and was shooting through the door.  Let’s see. He is in a room that he can’t get out of and everybody is safely away.  What was the urgency?  I am pretty sure the Pine Bluff “long arm of the law but extremely short on the brain cells” team could have waited a while. I doubt if he had a stockpile of bullets and at 107 he could have dropped dead in the next two minutes. I wonder if the head of the S.W.A.T team in Pine Bluff is named Zimmerman.

An off-duty police officer in Conroe,Tx has shot a 17 year old kid who was thought to have been shoplifting.  The officer said he shot the boy because the teenager was fighting him and he feared for his life.  The problem is that the boy was shot in the back of the head. Sounds like a wanabe Zimmerman to me.

The International Olympic committee wants Lance (I'm Not A Drug Addict, I'm Just Stupid)Armstrong to give back the Bronze Medal he won in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Lance said he didn’t have the medal, has never had it, has never been to the Olympics and has never ridden a bicycle.

The Three Stooges traveled to Egypt over the week-end to have a love fest with the head of the Military, General “I’m not a Sissy”, who overthrew the elected President Mohamed Morsi, who was a top Muslim Brotherhood leader.  The 2013 Stooges are Congressmorons Michelle (I Really Am Dumbass) Bachman, Louie (I Am an Even Bigger Dumbass) Gohmert and Steve (I’m Just Plain Stupid) King.  The three also mentioned that the Muslim Brotherhood was who attacked us on 9/11.  I guess they didn’t get the memo about Osama bin Laden and Al- Qaeda.

Stay tuned for future adventures.