Monday Soap Box

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump has finally revealed his plan for putting ISIS out of business. He is going to buy them. 

I think it is time we impeached Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott.  I have noticed that he NEVER stands up during the National Anthem. 

Of course Texas is not the only state to have an ASSHOLE for Governor.  Kentucky has Matt (I Have God On Speed Dial) Bevin who told the boneheads attending the Value Voters Summit this past week-end that liberals were un-American for preventing conservative “Christians” from declaring America a Christian nation and instituting the Bible as the law of the land in place of the Constitution”.

Golly I wonder where Hillary came up with “basket of deplorables”

.

Speaking of Hillary, did you notice how she got Republicans to talk about women’s health care in one day?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

One Hump After Another

The perennial hump of the week of course goes to Donald (Little DICK-tator) Hump for his shot at Hillary with the 2^nd amendment people quote.

Here in the Lone Star state the biggest hump of the week is Houston County Commissioner Steve (All Asshole And Nothing Else) Raddick  Slimy Steve said this week that some people in Houston liked getting flooded out every so often so they could cash in.  He went on to say, “they frankly enjoy floods. They’d like to see a flood about every 7 years, because they want new cars, they want their homes redone.”

I do believe Scumbag Steve might take the lead in the race to see who is the biggest asshole in Texas.  I really didn’t think anyone could out do Texas Lt. Governor Dan (All Mouth, No Brains) Patrick.  After all little Danny is as useless as the legs on Texas Governor Dipshit Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott.

Runner up honors go to all Trump supporters imbeciles.

   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Bubbles From My Soapbox

I think if you have to get a loan to buy a candy bar, you may have bigger problems than a sweet tooth.

Here are a few Republican bumper stickers that crossed my mind over the week-end.  Feel free to use them.

          GOP
The BIGot TENT PARTY.

Vote Republican and take America back….150 years.

Republican Party seriously damaged by misgided Cruz missile. 

Texas Attorney General Criminal Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was hit with a Federal civil suit from the SEC yesterday charging him with three counts of felony fraud.  This of course is on top of his state criminal charges on the same topic.  I guess little Kenny really is a triple threat guy after all. I don’t pray, but if I did I would be down on my knees hoping his buddy Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott would be his cell mate.

Not to be out done in the sleaze department, Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid (It’s Never) Miller time was caught taking a trip to Mississippi to be in a rodeo and paying for it with taxpayer money.  He pulled the same stunt a few weeks ago on a trip to Oklahoma.  Sid is also known for giving relatives and close friends high paying jobs on his staff. I’m pretty sure J.R. Ewing was Sid’s role model.  



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day

 Here are this week's Humps

 Marco (I Have A Sugar Daddy) Rubio’s campaign to be President has finally run out of water.  Little Marco threw in the towel last night.  He said he was tired of repeating the same ole talking points over and over. 

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott is still obsessed with voter fraud in Texas.  When Greggy Poo was Attorney General of Texas he spent millions of taxpayer money investigating voter fraud and prosecuted two cases in a ten year period.  The chances of finding major voter fraud in Texas is about the same as this asshole getting up out of that chair.

Hey for all of the angry folks out there who say that the boneheads up in Washington D.C. don’t do anything, here is this. Texas Congressmoron Republican Pete (I Should Be Attending Psychiatric) Sessions has proposed a "Resolution to recognize Magic as rare and valuable". I’m pretty sure someone put a spell on little Petey when he wasn’t looking.  

There is a new TV show coming on that’s about the people who are Trump supporters.  They are a mutant strain of humans who are completely impervious to the truth or facts.  It’s called The Walking Dumb.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Bubbles From My Soap Box

I had to run some errands the first thing this morning and before I knew it, I had received two “Have a good day,” three “Have a good un’” and one “Have a blessed day.”  Suddenly I have the pressure of having a good day.  I started out just wanting to get through the day, but oh no, now I have to have a good day.  

A recent survey of Trump Supporters show that they fall into two categories. 

Stupid
And Real Stupid.  

Here is a woman all Texas voters should beware of.  Her name is Mary Lou Bruner and she is running for a seat on the Texas Board of Education.  She believes that dinosaurs were on Noah’s ark, that the earth is only 6000 years old and that the United Nations has a plan to wipe out two-thirds of the world’s population. I’m pretty sure she is Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott’s real mother, but I can’t prove it.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Year, Same Ole Humps

The gun-nut wacko TeaNut Republicans are having hissy-fits over President Obama’s executive decision on gun sellers. Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz immediately pulled out the lame and ridiculous “Obamas is going to take your guns”

 and Texas Congressmoron John (I’m Almost As Dumb As Louie Gohmert) Culbertson wants to defund the Justice Department over it. John also wants to visit the Wizard of Oz to see he will give him a brain.

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott was so upset he sent this tweet to the President.

Obama wants to impose more gun control. My response.#? COME & TAKE It.@NRA#tcot#PJNET

My response to Greggy Poo is How about we just come and take your chair away you dumbass…..

Amoron Bundy,the leader of the boneheads occupying the National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon carried  a copy of the Constitution in his pocket during his last press conference. Evidently he was looking for someone to read it to him. Ole Amoron said He and his followers want the refuge and millions of federally owned acres in the West transferred back to “the people,” I’m sure there a number of Native Americans that would be all for that, but I don’t believe that’s what he meant.

Amoron is youngest of the Bundy bunch and said he didn’t set out to be a leader.  He went on to say he always wanted to emulate his older brother Ted and become a serial killer, but didn’t have the brains for it.I don't think it will be very long and we will find out just how tough these boys are.  I understand their mommies forgot to pack them socks and snacks.

I have noticed a number of police departments around the country have changed their motto from To Protect and Serve, to Punish and Shoot.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Day One

What we learned in 2015.

• Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is just a rich David (KKK) Duke.

• Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush is NOT the smarter one.

• The Christian Right is mostly wrong.

• Minorities are now the majority.

• Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is not a stand up guy.

• Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert really is as dumb as he looks.

• Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was elected to be the Attorney General of Texas and turned out to be the Attorney Criminal of Texas.

• Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is the creepiest politician since Richard (I’m Really A Dick) Nixon.

• Dr. Ben ( I Can’t Keep My Eyes Open) Carson has a dual personality. Brain-Surgeon/Moron.

• Dr. Huxtable is a rapist.

• The Confederate Flag controversy proved that when southerners said “the south will rise again,’ they weren’t talking about I.Q. levels.

• Same Sex Marriage is highly upsetting to a lot of Same-ole-sex marriages.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrump Day

22 Republican Governors are showing just how faux Christian they are. They are all for turning down Syrian women and children refugees trying to escape their terrible situation.  I’ll bet Jesus is spinning in his grave. Oh wait, I forgot, he’s not dead, he is the original zombie.

Too bad these assholes and their supporters failed to read in their favorite book about helping the poor and disadvantaged. Their actions just proves that most of them don’t any more read the Bible than the man in the moon does. I mean why should they when they can get all the information they need from Faux News and ignorant boneheads like Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson and Franklin ( Daddy’s Little Moron) Graham. There are over 350,000 churches in this country and as far as I can tell not one church has stepped forward and said they would take a single refugee family.  Gee, what happened to all those folks that keep clamoring how we are a Christian Nation?  Of course if these were Syrian refugee fetuses wanting asylum, it would be a different story.

I get it why Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott announced that he would not let any of the refugees in.  I’m pretty sure he thought the attacks over the weekend were in Paris, Texas.  

All these Republican boneheads want to do is ramp up the fear and paranoia so they can start another useless war. I think these facts from last week’s post bear another look.   

• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 153,144 people were killed by homicide in which firearms were used between 2001 and 2013, the last year that data are available (that number excludes deaths by "legal intervention").
• The Global Terrorism Database — which uses a criteria to determine terrorist attacks but also includes acts of violence that are more ambiguous in goal — estimates that 3,046 people in the U.S. died in terrorist or possible terrorist attacks between 2001 and 2014.

Dr. Ben (Nut Job Surgeon) Carson was asked how he would handle ISIS.  The good dumb doctor said he would bring in a international military coalition.  When asked who would be in that coalition and after much hem hawing around, he said it would probably include the armies of Jupiter, Mars and Saturn.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday's Bubbles From My Soap Box

So here is a little something to ponder the next time you hear a NRA (Feverous Rabid Asshole) member rail on about how we need everyone carrying a gun to make America safer.  Yes sir, just like in the old wild west days. Two of the most famous places in our wild west history are Dodge City, Ka and Tombstone Ar, and there are plenty of accounts of how Wyatt Earp and his brothers tamed those two cities.  THEY TOOK AWAY EVERYBODY’S GUNS.  Yep when you came into town, you had to check your guns at the sheriff’s office.  Now if that doesn’t make a far-right gun-packin’ TeaNut Republican’s head explode, I don’t know what will.

You can always tell who the NRA member is in an AA meeting. He is the one to who says, “Hi, I’m Bill and I’m an alcoholic and I think the solution to our problems is more alcohol.  

One of the big mysteries of life to me and this could be bigger than why did the chicken cross the road, is why does Wolf (Clueless) Blitzer have a job?  Everybody knows that Fox News is simply the media arm of the Republican Party, they have an agenda to lie and give misinformation about President Obama and the Democrats and they do a good job of it.  CNN on the other is hand is simply incompetent.

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott announced that Texas would cut Planned Parenthood funding out of Medicaid and then yesterday state health department goons served subpoenas for patient records and for Planned Parenthood employees home addresses. Of course all of this is based on fraudulent videos made by an anti-abortion group of assholes.

This proves to me without a doubt that Gregg Pooh was hatched. Surly this asshole doesn’t have a mother. Yes I know he has a wife, but I understand she is from Stepford. I just don’t get why this jerk hates women.  It would make sense for him to hate trees, after all a tree fell on him and put his sorry ass in that chair for the rest of his miserable life.  

  Open letter to the Republicans of the Bengahzi panel.

Dear Assholes,
FUCK YOU and the narrow minded, intolerant, ignorant, mean-spirited, backward, racist, homophobic, misogynist and elitist asshole of an elephant you rode in on.     
Yours truly,
Rod Tanner




Stay tuned for future adventures.