One Hump After Another

Today’s biggest hump.

Texas Congressmoron  and Trump supporter imbecile Blake (The Flake) Farenthold is in the national news, but not for good reasons. When Bonehead Blake was asked on CNN last night if he would continue supporting Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump even if he said he has actually raped someone, he stumbled and mumbled, “maybe.”  Oops. Wrong answer Blakey Poo. Blake was sued by a staff member a couple of years for sexual harassment. I am assuming Blake's pajamas  are official Duck Dynasty pjs.

Honorable mention humps.  

I personally think that Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s chances of becoming President are the same as a snowball in hell, but I think he has a very good chance of becoming Bill (Have A Drink Dear, It Will Relax You) Cosby’s cell mate.

Oh goody, Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert has crawled out from under his rock to defend Trump’s vile video. Looney Louie says it is all Bill Clinton’s fault because back when Trumpy Poo said those things, he was friends with Bill. This dimwit also went on to say that if Hillary is elected she will come after the churches.  I don’t have a clue to what that means, but I do believe this proves without a doubt that Louie is as dumb as the rock he lives under.

Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson host of the 700 Club, that’s how many viewers they have, defended Trump’s misogynistic rant as being “macho”. I’m pretty sure that is in the Bible on page 234, Ignoramus 4:25 “The laying of hands on women shall be man’s manly province. Blessed are the gropers.”  
  

The Republican Wing-Nuts favorite myth is back making the rounds.  Voter Fraud.  After spending two minutes on Google, I found that voter fraud in the U.S. is next to zero.  The only voter fraud going on in this election will be that there is going to be a number of people who really are too stupid to vote.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Musing and Pondering

I have never been bothered by allergies, but since moving to East Texas I have had a lot of watery eyes and a clogged up head. Then I remembered that I am allergic to stupidity and the moron count up here is off the charts.

I have been a lost to explain why dumb is at plague stage here, but I think this article may be the answer.

I saw where Faux News Bully O’Really? was out promoting his latest book that he didn’t write and it mentioned that he has the highest-rated show on cable TV.  I always cringe when I see that so I thought I would check and see just how many people watch this dipshit.  Google says approximately 2 million people watch Bully.  I was ecstatic.  That means approximately 320 million people DON’T watch this bonehead.  

According to the latest news, everyone in America between the ages of 21 and 65 paid more taxes than Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump. The Don is now claiming that losing almost a billion dollars in one year shows what a genius he is.  The Guinness Book of Records is saying this is the spin of the century.

Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson said this week, “Trump sniffing may have been a sign of the Holy Spirit coming out of him.”   So does that mean even the Holy Sprit is tired of his lying shit?  

Republican Senator Kelly (Hey Look, I Have My Head Up My Ass) Ayotte was asked if she would tell her kids that Trump would be a good role model and she said yes. The next day she said she misspoke and meant Lying Don would be a good Troll model. 





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Religious Freedom Is Being Able To Poke Fun At Religion

I get it that Creationist don’t believe in evolution.  It is very obvious that these boneheads haven’t evolved at all.

It’s odd that the Bible doesn’t mention dinosaurs. The only thing I could find in the scriptures that might be a reference about dinosaurs is in Ignoramous 4:16 which quotes Noah saying, “Holy shit, what the hell is that?”

Oh look, the pastor got a thesaurus for his birthday.

Don’t worry, new and improved Tide will get it out.

I think it is on page 127 of the Koran where it says a good Muslim should always pray to the East everyday so the West can kiss their ass.

A small cult known as Reaganites who were known to practice Voodoo economics have now trickled down to one bonehead who is still mired in chapter 11.

Gautama Buddha the founder of Buddhism, not to be confused with Gotcha Mamma the founder of the TV ministry of “Send me all your money,’ was thought to be asleep at the wheel most of his life.

Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson of the 700 Club, although according to the latest survey, only seven people are now actually watching,  blamed the stock market plunge early this week on God being pissed off about abortions. I knew that Wall Street had certainly killed a number of good ideas, but I didn’t know they did abortions.

Two boneheads here in East Texas were arrested for preaching to the customers in a McDonald’s.   I never did find out if they were preaching Jesus is King or Burger King. 

 I myself am a member of the 1^st Church of the Frisbee.  We believe when you die, your soul goes upon the roof and you can’t get it down.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Yea...It's Hump Day

Now that all of the statements and comments that were made by the candidates boneheads in the Republican get together in Cleveland last week and all of the reactions to said comments by the viewers have been considered, it is official, the debate has been downgraded to a debacle.  It is very obvious that the all inclusive big tent that the Republicans love to talk about is filled with homophobic, misogynistic, racist assholes with very low I.Q.’s.

The pastor at the 1^st Baptist church in Panama City is Dr. Craig (I’m Not A Real Doctor, But I Play One In Church) Conner says that if the government doesn’t defund Planned Parenthood he might not pay his taxes. Here is a better idea Reverend Dumbass, why don’t you and your megachurch buddies actually pay taxes.  That would be quite a load of money for the government.

Ole Craigy went on to say that he was sure that God was the one that released the videos circulating about Planned Parenthood. I think maybe crazy Craig is angling to take over Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson’s place when he has his face to face meeting with Jesus.  A meeting, by the way, that I am pulling for to happen really soon for Mr. Roberson.

  

Just when I thought we  had heard the last from former Congressmoron Michael (I’m Even Dumber Than Palin) Bachmann, she pops up on the radio to say we should all feel very "privileged to live in" the End Times, which she says are currently upon us.  In fact I do feel privileged to see the end of her political career. I’m sure that’s what she was talking about.

The Oath Keepers arrived in Ferguson, Missouri armed to the teeth. When asked why they were allowed to carry weapons, an Oath Keeper replied, “I’m happy that we’re able to defend ourselves, It’s been our right for a long time.”  Gee I wonder what would have happened if a black group showed up with guns.

The Oath Keepers are a bunch of boneheads who comprise the latest patriot group to claim they are here to protect Americans from, what looks to me like, other Americans. They say are here to protect the Constitution, but also vowing to disobey "unconstitutional" orders from what they view as an increasingly tyrannical government. If that makes any sense, let me know. My question to these assholes is if you’re so hot to protect America, why don’t you drag your ass overseas and fight ISIS?  Of course they are not about to do that because those people have guns too. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Random Stuff About Stupid People

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz has really got his panties in a bunch over President Obama normalizing diplomatic relationships with Cuba.  Funny how we have good diplomatic relations with Japan, Germany and Vietnam, but not those mean ole Cubans.  I guess Fidel and his brother could just row over here in a take over the country.  Since little Teddy is half Cuban, I guess he is afraid that his relatives are going to be coming over here asking him for money.  

Conservative blowhard, actually I think she will blow anybody, Ann (Ann Is Short For Andrew) Coulter said this week that that rapes only occur in physically violent circumstances, like “being hit on the head with a brick,” and anyone who says otherwise is just trying to get attention.  Wow and this from someone who will say anything to get attention.  I think we know what kind of a guy Ann was before having everything removed except his Adam’s apple

Talk show host moron, Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson said on his 700 Club TV show (That’s how many viewers they have.) that homosexuals “will die out because they don’t reproduce.”   Well gee; I wonder where all those gay people came from? In an extremely long line of stupid things this bonehead has uttered, this could be the best ever.  

Texas Congressmoron Blake (Actually It’s Flake) Farenthold is being sued for inappropriate sexual comments by a former employee. This is no surprise as he is well known to be a total idiot, but here is what I didn’t know: The guy is the real head of Duck Dynasty and here is the picture to prove it.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The World's Oldest Scam....Religion

We have the war on religion, the war on Christmas and whatever else the TeaNut Religious wackos of the world want to declare is under war.  But what we really have is War on Reason because anything that is within reason is suddenly jumped on by these wackos.  Of course these assholes will use anything to use as a smoke screen to take away from talking about real issues and solutions to real problems.

As somebody once said, you can’t reason with a religious wacko because if you could, there would be no religious wackos. Here is an example of religious freedom the way the zealots see it.  The Catholic Church is in a discrimination lawsuit over firing one their teachers at an Indiana school for taking vitro fertilization treatments.  The Church is arguing that its religious liberty rights protect the school from having to go to court at all.  

I realize that I just said this last month but I’m going to recycle it just in case you missed it.

The Pew Foundation has just released a report that says white evangelical Christians feel that they are the most persecuted people in America and at the Values Voter Summit in Washington this past weekend a straw poll of the 2000 attendees said that religious freedom was their number one priority.  What a load of crap. We have more religious freedom than any country on the planet. What they want is the freedom for THEIR religion to be the ONLY religion.

They already have two national holidays and are trying to take over another one. They are doing everything that they can to take over Halloween.  They want to call it the Harvest Festival or the Fall Festival.   I just read an article where they are pushing to have people carve the face of Jesus in their pumpkins. It’s Halloween, you know, spooks, goblins and scary stuff.  I guess the Holy Ghost would work if anyone knew what the Holy Ghost looked like.

There is a church on every corner and they get to spew bullshit on the radio and TV all they want. Don’t get me wrong, they have every right to spew their bullshit, but I have every right not to listen. Every time we turn around they insist that God or Jesus be involved in everything we do from our education system to the government. I for one will be greatly thankful when the rapture gets here and these boneheads will be gone.  

Here is a fine example of evangelical Christian thinking. Christian radio host Rick (I Am Not a Scientist or a Doctor, but I am a Moron) Wiles said on his broadcast last week that Ebola is probably a good thing because it would cleanse the world of gay people, atheists and sluts. Wow Ebola doesn’t kill Christians.  I guess only lions do.

And here are a couple of typical quotes from a pair of pompous, self-righteous, self-proclaimed spokesmen for God:

 “Good Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.” ~ Jerry Falwell

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." –Pat Robertson


Stay tuned for future adventures.