Monday, Monday

I can see why South Carolina Senaterrible Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham picked today to announce he is running sashaying for President.  It is the first day of hurricane season: the perfect day for a blowhard to show up.

 Little Lindsey wants everyone to know that he will be the “Chuck Norris” of Presidents and kick all our enemies off the planet.  He likes to tell everyone that he has a military background and knows exactly what to do. Actually Lindsey was a lawyer in the Air Force and I think he plans on suing ISIS out of business.  Remember If You Love War. Vote Lindsey. 

Donald (Huge Ego, Small Brain) Trump says he will have an exciting announcement to make on June 26^th.  I’m hoping that he is planning on getting a haircut.

The Texas Republican controlled Senate apparently invented a time machine.  They   approved legislation to allow handguns in campus buildings, dorms, and classrooms taking us back to 1815.  The only positive note is that these boneheads won’t be back for another two years.

The Houston flooding was much worse than I first thought.

And now for the irony to end all ironies.  The man charged with shooting George (My I.Q. and My Gun Are Both 45’s) Zimmerman is using the “stand your ground” defense. Boy, that Karma can come back and bite you in the ass.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Follies

I saw a sign for a club in town that said, “Live DJ on Saturday nights”.  I’m assuming that on the other nights of the week they have a dead DJ.

Congressmoron Paul (We Need to Get Rid of All the Poor People) Ryan is at it again. He believes the biggest problem for poor people is the existence of government programs that give them money and health care.  He wants to cut all of these programs.  He went on to say,” Spiritual redemption: That’s what saves people.”  In other words, pray that you don’t get sick or starve to death. I’m not sure what section of the Bible says it is a sin to be poor but it must be in there somewhere.

I wonder who George (Quick Draw) Zimmerman is going to kill next and not if, but when.

Here is a real oxymoron for ya.  Texas Board of Education.

OMG, the Senate invoked the “Nuclear Option” on confirming nominees.  How will we ever live through it?  At least that’s what the media wants us to think.  What a crock, you can’t get the politics more polarized than what they are now and maybe, just maybe they can get a little business done.    


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday's Monologue

George (Quick-Draw McGraw) Zimmerman is being held by the Florida police for threatening to shoot his wife and father-in-law.  George said it was complications from a medical condition he had. He said it had been awhile since he had shot someone and just had a really itchy trigger finger.  


The S.W.A.T team in Pine Bluff Arkansas killed a 107 year old resident of a nursing home in shoot-out over the week-end.  They said they had no choice; the man had barricaded himself in his room and was shooting through the door.  Let’s see. He is in a room that he can’t get out of and everybody is safely away.  What was the urgency?  I am pretty sure the Pine Bluff “long arm of the law but extremely short on the brain cells” team could have waited a while. I doubt if he had a stockpile of bullets and at 107 he could have dropped dead in the next two minutes. I wonder if the head of the S.W.A.T team in Pine Bluff is named Zimmerman.

An off-duty police officer in Conroe,Tx has shot a 17 year old kid who was thought to have been shoplifting.  The officer said he shot the boy because the teenager was fighting him and he feared for his life.  The problem is that the boy was shot in the back of the head. Sounds like a wanabe Zimmerman to me.

The International Olympic committee wants Lance (I'm Not A Drug Addict, I'm Just Stupid)Armstrong to give back the Bronze Medal he won in the 2000 Sydney Olympics.  Lance said he didn’t have the medal, has never had it, has never been to the Olympics and has never ridden a bicycle.

The Three Stooges traveled to Egypt over the week-end to have a love fest with the head of the Military, General “I’m not a Sissy”, who overthrew the elected President Mohamed Morsi, who was a top Muslim Brotherhood leader.  The 2013 Stooges are Congressmorons Michelle (I Really Am Dumbass) Bachman, Louie (I Am an Even Bigger Dumbass) Gohmert and Steve (I’m Just Plain Stupid) King.  The three also mentioned that the Muslim Brotherhood was who attacked us on 9/11.  I guess they didn’t get the memo about Osama bin Laden and Al- Qaeda.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday's Pondering

The latest polls in the New York mayor’s race show that Anthony (How Do You Like This Head Shot)Weiner really didn’t have any supporters after all.  They were just rubber neckers who slowed down and couldn’t quit looking at the accident.  According to Anthony’s last tweet, even his jock strap has left.  Talk about no support.

I saw where George ( Rambozo) Zimmerman was in our fair state this week.  Let me be the first to say, Keep moving, YOU’RE NOT WELCOME.  George was stopped for speeding and fortunately for him the officer did not subscribe to the George Zimmerman method of arrest.

Here is something to think about.  The United States represents about 5% of the world’s total population but we represent almost 25% of the world’s prison population.  In other words we have more people locked up than any country in the world.  Hmmm, is America the land of the free or the world’s biggest penal colony?

Why is Morning Joe (My Mouth is Much Larger than My Brain) Scarborough on MSNBC?  He is certainly narrow mined enough to be on Fox and he has a low enough IQ to still be in Congress. He recently raved how much he loved Darth Cheney and what a great job George Warmonger Bush did in Iraq. Yeah Joe, that has really turned out great.

The GOP is about to propose cutting food stamps by 40 billion dollars over the next ten years.  They sure don’t have a problem funding useless wars, rich grain companies and dead farmers, but to hell with those poor people.  After all those people are poor because they chose to be poor. Sorta like all of those gay people.

San Diego mayor Bob (I'm a Hands-On Kinda Guy) Filner is a real piece of work. Now he is claiming that because the city didn’t provide a sexual harassment training session that he didn’t know he was sexually harassing women. The problem is that it has come to light that he is the one who canceled the program. I get it why he spent thirty years in Congress.  This moron is too stupid to do anything else.

Hey Congress finally agreed on something.  They all agreed to leave town.  Of course leaving doesn’t change anything because they don’t do anything when they are there. They are on track to be the most unproductive Congress in history.  As they were oozing out the door, the House Republicans voted for the 40th time to repeal Obamacare.

Yes sir, your tax dollars at work.  Someone please tell me why we pay these assholes a salary.  Salaries that cost us almost 94 million dollars a year and that’s not counting their fabulous health benefits and retirement.




Stay tuned for future adventures

An Open Letter To a Gun Nut

As I have said before, I have no problem with shotguns and rifles, but I see no reason for hand guns.  Hand guns are for killing people.  I know a lot of the hand gun folks say, “Oh I just want to have it for the target range.”  Ok, fine. Leave your gun at the range and it’s always there when you want to go out and play Dirty Harry.  If that doesn’t work for you, then you are lying through your teeth and are just another George Zimmerman wannabe.

My letter is to Police Chief Mark(My Favorite Gun is a 45 and so is My IQ) Kessler of Gilberton, Pennsylvania.  He is the one who made the really stupid online videos shooting his guns, criticizing the government and ranting about the 2nd amendment.

Dear Mark,

Please keep up the good work.  You have no idea of how much good you are doing for gun control groups.  Every time a moron like you goes on television and says something really stupid or makes an incredibly offensive video like yours, there may be hundreds of people who have been on the fence or not very vocal about gun control who immediately jump on the tighter gun control side.

All your ranting about the 2nd amendment and losing your guns is just crap. You talk about how gun laws hurt law biding citizens. All of the school shootings and most of the mass shootings were not perpetrated by criminals but people who had never broken the law until they fired the first shot.  The truth is we have the most lenient guns laws of any country on the planet, but hey, don’t let a few facts get in the way of your irrational dysfunctional believe system. I did read your rant on Facebook and from all of the misspelled words I’m assuming you are member of the Tea Party. 

So thanks again.  I see where the city council of Gilberton just suspended you for thirty days without pay. I must say, I am stunned.  I had no idea they actually pay you.

You said you made the videos because you believe in the 1st amendment.  I am with you there so try this on for size.  Why don’t you go FUCK YOURSELF? Or better yet, blow your brains out with your handy little Ak-47. Of course to do that, you would have to stick it up you ass before pulling the trigger.




Stay tuned for future adventures.