A Few Bubbles From My Soapbox

Last night’s Presidential debate spat can be condensed down to, “Did not. Did too”  When Trumpy Poo was asked if he would concede the election if Hillary won, he said he would have to get back to everyone after he learned what the word concede means.

I understand that Faux News blowhard Bully O’really is planning a new book in his “Killing” series that he didn’t write. Killing Reagan, Killing Lincoln etc.  He said it is going to be about Trump. It will be called “Killing the Republican Party.” 

Number one pimp for Trump, Sean (All Mouth, No Brains) Hannity thinks that the Republicans should replace Paul (Lying) Ryan with Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert, who is known as the dumbest man in Congress, as Loudmouth of the House.  Hey I’m all for that. We would be down to a one party system in no time.

Gosh it looks like Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump and Roger (Check Out My Casting Couch) Ailes are no longer asshole buddies.  Now they are just two assholes who don’t like each other.

Oh no, I think the dreaded “R” bandit is loose again.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

One Hump After Another

Today’s biggest hump.

Texas Congressmoron  and Trump supporter imbecile Blake (The Flake) Farenthold is in the national news, but not for good reasons. When Bonehead Blake was asked on CNN last night if he would continue supporting Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump even if he said he has actually raped someone, he stumbled and mumbled, “maybe.”  Oops. Wrong answer Blakey Poo. Blake was sued by a staff member a couple of years for sexual harassment. I am assuming Blake's pajamas  are official Duck Dynasty pjs.

Honorable mention humps.  

I personally think that Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s chances of becoming President are the same as a snowball in hell, but I think he has a very good chance of becoming Bill (Have A Drink Dear, It Will Relax You) Cosby’s cell mate.

Oh goody, Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert has crawled out from under his rock to defend Trump’s vile video. Looney Louie says it is all Bill Clinton’s fault because back when Trumpy Poo said those things, he was friends with Bill. This dimwit also went on to say that if Hillary is elected she will come after the churches.  I don’t have a clue to what that means, but I do believe this proves without a doubt that Louie is as dumb as the rock he lives under.

Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson host of the 700 Club, that’s how many viewers they have, defended Trump’s misogynistic rant as being “macho”. I’m pretty sure that is in the Bible on page 234, Ignoramus 4:25 “The laying of hands on women shall be man’s manly province. Blessed are the gropers.”  
  

The Republican Wing-Nuts favorite myth is back making the rounds.  Voter Fraud.  After spending two minutes on Google, I found that voter fraud in the U.S. is next to zero.  The only voter fraud going on in this election will be that there is going to be a number of people who really are too stupid to vote.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Fun Facts

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump says that he got the endorsements of 88 military leaders and veterans this week. I decided to do a little checking and see who these people are and found this.

11 bell ringers with the Salvation Army
6 sales clerks at Old Navy
12 veterans of the War on Drugs.
7 volunteers from Arnold Palmer’s Arnie’s Army in the sixties.
14 Montana Minute Men
9 veterans from the Cup Cake Wars on the Food Channel
13 people who worked for General Motors
16 members of the G.I. Joe fan club

When Libertarian candidate for President of the United States Gary (Every Man For Himself) Johnson was asked for his opinion on Aleppo he said that he never used it. He went on to say that his dogs preferred Purina.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert said today that Hillary was “mentally impaired.”  This from a man whose I.Q. and age or the same number.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Brain Waves For A Friday

Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert made appearance on the floor of the House this week during the sit-in.  Seems Looney Louie went around screaming "radical Islam" over and over. I guess he had gotten his weekly paycheck from the NRA (National Rabid Assholes) and was doing his duty..

As I have said a number of times in this piece of fluff I call Sleeps til Noon, I have always had friends who were Republicans and we actually had only a few differences. That is still true for most of them today, but for the most part, the Republican Party and their right-wing TeaNut assholes who have taken over their little party have moved so far to the right where they are completely wrong that I can’t find any thing to agree with them.  I have been wanting to write about this for a while, but haven’t been able to express myself without ranting and screaming and then I came across this great writer by the name of Mindy Fischer who says it all so eloquently.  Please check it out.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Stupidity Is In The Air

I just read an article that stated Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump Rump’s supporters are very diverse.  The article said that they are not all poor un-educated white folk, but some are quite rich and educated.  What the article didn’t mention was that all of Rump’s supporters do have a commonality about them.  Every one of them, rich or poor, educated or not, are racist, misogynistic assholes.   

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert once again opened his mouth so he could insert his foot, which by the way is quite amazing seeing as how his head is always up his ass, to utter these few words on the latest transgender bill passed in North Carolina.  “In the seventh grade if the law had been that all I had to do was say, ‘I’m a girl,’ and I got to go into the girls’ restroom, I don’t know if I could’ve withstood the temptation just to get educated back in those days,” he said. I am shocked at this.  I had no idea Louie got as far as the seventh grade. When Louie was asked about what he thought about the Panama Papers, he replied that he had never smoked marijuana and wouldn’t know anything about the paraphernalia that went with that activity.  

Just to prove that Texas doesn’t have a complete lock on stupidly, Wisconsin Republican Congressmoron Glen (I’m Just As Stupid As Louie)  Grothman said he was surprised that there was controversy about the voter suppression law that he helped pass after he stated that it would help Republicans to get elected. Ole Glen went on to say that he was also surprised to find out the earth was not flat and that Santa Claus wasn’t real. . 

Evidently the stupidity bug has also spread into Ohio.  Last week Alphonso D (The D Stands For Dumb) Mobley Jr. a member of the “Sovereign Citzens” group blew his hands off while making a bomb and The Oath Oaf Keepers, a paranoid paramilitary group of boneheads who say they are "Christians Patriots for America", you know kinda like those fine folks who participated in The Crusades, has opened up a survival store in a mall in Bowling Green, Ohio. My hopes are that it won’t survive very long.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Damn Good Friday

Hey, a big weekend coming up.  It must be a big bake sale because I see the signs everywhere.

 I stopped and ask these folks if they knew the exact date it was happening because I was going to be out of town for a couple of days and didn't want to miss it.  They said that they didn't have a clue and had put the sigh up because attendance had been low and they were trying to drum up a little business. 

This bonehead has got to be a constituent of Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.  Wayne (I Can’t Pronounce My Name Either) Propst says he has found fossils from when that loving Christian God decided to kill everyone in world with a flood. Self-proclaimed fossil expert Joe (I Studied Fossils At Trump University) Taylor confirmed the fossil was from the time of Noah’s ark.  Wayne also said he had found a bell from Santa’s sleigh, an egg from the Easter Bunny, a foot print in his garden made by Bigfoot and three quarters left by the Tooth Fairy.

We are finally getting down to the real mud slinging in the race to see who can be the sleaziest in the run for the Presidency.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is threatening to “spill the beans” about Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Sleazy & Creepy) Cruz’s wife Heidi.  I don’t know much about her except she is not a Texan or her name would be Heidi Doody.

A new study out has found that not all Trump supporters are stupid.  They found that a large number of his supporters are extremely stupid.

Once again this Sunday many people will be pondering that age old question.  Who came first? The bunny or the egg?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Day One

What we learned in 2015.

• Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is just a rich David (KKK) Duke.

• Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush is NOT the smarter one.

• The Christian Right is mostly wrong.

• Minorities are now the majority.

• Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is not a stand up guy.

• Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert really is as dumb as he looks.

• Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was elected to be the Attorney General of Texas and turned out to be the Attorney Criminal of Texas.

• Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is the creepiest politician since Richard (I’m Really A Dick) Nixon.

• Dr. Ben ( I Can’t Keep My Eyes Open) Carson has a dual personality. Brain-Surgeon/Moron.

• Dr. Huxtable is a rapist.

• The Confederate Flag controversy proved that when southerners said “the south will rise again,’ they weren’t talking about I.Q. levels.

• Same Sex Marriage is highly upsetting to a lot of Same-ole-sex marriages.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

There's Dumb And There's Dumber

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert  really is as dumb as he looks.  A local bonehead rancher here in Lufkin, Texas, Simon (Bullshtter Extraordinaire) Winston has decided to run against Louie next election.  Ole Simon who I understand has more bullshit than the Fort Worth stockyards says Loony Louie doesn’t get anything done and he can prove it because Louie is debt.

I think Slimy Simon’s thinking is along these lines.  The majority of the members of Congress are millionaires and a large number of these millionaires WERE NOT millionaires until after they got to Congress. So if Loony Louie is actually a hundred thousand in debt, it means he is even too dumb to steal.

Little Simon has the family pedigree to back up his right-wing nut ideology.  Seems his 83 year old momma was the person who paid for an extremely distasteful anti-Obama billboard in Lufkin a few years ago that caused quite an up roar.  I understand Simon’s campaign motto is, “If you’re into Dumb, I’m the one.”

More Kentucky voters are coming forward about being upset with their new Governor elect Matt (Just Another Horse’s Ass From Kentucky) Bevin who ran on a platform of destroying Medicaid expansion is actually doing it.  When a woman who was upset about it was asked why she voted for him, she replied, “I’m just a die-hard Republican.” No actually you are a die-dead with out insurance Republican.

Loseranna Governor Booby (Jihad) Jindal has dropped out of the Presidential race.  He said he came to realize it wasn’t his time after the latest survey showed that only 2/3’s of his family knew who he was. 

All of the Republican candidates running in the Presidential race have actually agreed on something.  They are for expanding the Trump plan and are all for building a wall around the entire United States. 

  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

An Open Letter To Louie Gohmert

Dear Louie,

I know that you think that Global Warming is a hoax, but I am writing to tell you Global Warming has come to the district which you represent in East Texas.  In the last couple of days we have seen the temperature reach 113.

As a resident of your district I demand that you take care of this problem immediately. I am pretty sure that most of the problems come from all of the hot air that constantly comes out of your mouth so PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Yours truly,

Rod Tanner

Stay tuned for future adventures.