Musings On A Monday

This is the doctor who wrote Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s letter of health.  The good doctor said that Little Dick-Donnie was healthy as a horse.  He also said he was dumb as jackass, stubborn as mule, contemptible as a cockroach, slow as a turtle, repulsive as a rat, flighty as a wasp, sneaky as a snake and villainous as vulture.  I’m pretty sure the good Doctor Do-Very-Little got his medical degree from Trump University. 

There is a rumor going around that former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry is going to run against Texas Senaterrible Ted ( Sleazy & Creepy) Cruz in the next election for the Senate. People are already saying this is a case of the lesser of two evils, but I have to say I disagree.  Creepy Cruz is evil, no doubt about that, but Hair-Do Perry is simply inept.

Disgraced former Congressmoron Anthony (Here is a picture of my) Weiner is at it again. It seems he has been sexting with a woman who claims to be a Trump supporter imbecile. His wife Huma (What The Hell Kind Of Name Is That) Abedin is filing for divorce. Huma who works as an aide to Hillary Clinton, said sexting was one thing, but with a Trump supporter imbecile was unforgivable.  

Here is piece that my sweetie wrote three years ago and it is most appropriate today. Check it out. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Oh What A Night #3

The big winners from last nights RNC (Republican National ClusterFuck) were the fine folks of Indiana.  They have finally gotten rid of their dipshit Governor Mike (Homophobic Asshole) Pence. Little Mikey likes to tell everybody he is a Christian first, then a conservative and Republican.  In other words, he is a judgmental hateful racist.

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Sleazy & Creepy) Cruz received a standing boovation for not endorsing Trump.  Instead Creepy Cruz told everyone to "vote your conscience."  I find this ironic coming from a guy who seems to have no conscience.

When South Carolina Nikki ( Banana Fana Foe Hickey) Haley was asked if she was going to endorse Trump, she replied, “It’s great to be in Cleveland.”  Sounds to me like she was closer to endorsing Grover Cleveland than Trumpy.

I do believe that if after all of the outright lies and bullshit that has come down from Trump and his campaign, the boneheads who are still Trump supporters have now reached the incredible stupidity level of the Jonestown followers. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Another Day, A Few More Humps

Hump of the week:

The entire state of North Carolina.  A school board in North Carolina will now allow students to carry pepper spray into the bathrooms to fend off intruders. School board member Travis (My Age And My I.Q. Are The Same Number) Allen said he thought this was a good idea because he had been pepper sprayed a number of times and it really hurts.  I wonder if anyone thought to ask him why he had been pepper sprayed a number times.

Oklahoma pastor Alvin (I Really Am A) Weasel was caught for the second time trying to carry a gun on an airplane. The good rev thought that maybe this was God’s way of teaching him a lesson. He said, "Perhaps he's trying to use this so others can learn from my mistake and then perhaps he's using this to teach me.”  I’m a little confused here.  Was God trying to teach him not to carry a gun on an airplane or teaching him to hide it better.  

Texas Senaterrible and Republican Presidential failure, Rafael (Creepy & Sleazy) Cruz is finally starting to get what is coming to him.  Seems the FEC has caught him with his hand in the cookie jar for taking in more money from contributors than is allowed, so he has to pay it back. On top of that he is being sued for several hundred thousand dollars for using music in his campaign ads without permission.  I’m pretty sure God told him to do that.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

There Is Dumb and there is Dumber

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Creepy & Sleazy) Cruz had a John (Civil War Veteran) McCain moment this week.  He named Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina as his running mate. Snarly doesn’t quite come down to Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin level of ignorance, but she makes up for it by being a total asshole. I’m not sure why little Rafael thinks he is going to win the nomination, but I would say his odds of getting it are about the same as the sun rising in the west in the morning.

Cruz’s Stepford wife Heidi-Doody who is obliviously not dealing with a full deck (after all she is married to this dufus),  jumped into the stupidity game also this week by making this comment, “We are at a cultural crossroads in our country, and if we can be in this race to show this country the face of the God that we serve — this Christian God that we serve is the foundation of our country, our country was built on Judeo-Christian values, we are a nation of freedom of religion, but the God of Christianity is the God of freedom, of individual liberty, of choice and of consequence,”  Evidently Heidi’s home schooling didn’t include history books.

Here is what the founding fathers say about being a Christian Nation.

"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."
--John Adams

“Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.”
James Madison

“History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.”
Thomas Jefferson

“Congress has no power to make any religious establishments.”
Roger Sherman, Congress, August 19, 1789

“The legislature of the United States shall pass no law on the subject of religion.”
Charles Pinckney, Constitutional Convention, 1787

“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.”
Thomas Paine

“I wish it (Christianity) were more productive of good works … I mean real good works … not holy-day keeping, sermon-hearing … or making long prayers, filled with flatteries and compliments despised by wise men, and much less capable of pleasing the Deity.”
Benjamin Franklin —

And of course the patron saint of the GOP and Creepy Cruz’s hero.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Damn Good Friday

Hey, a big weekend coming up.  It must be a big bake sale because I see the signs everywhere.

 I stopped and ask these folks if they knew the exact date it was happening because I was going to be out of town for a couple of days and didn't want to miss it.  They said that they didn't have a clue and had put the sigh up because attendance had been low and they were trying to drum up a little business. 

This bonehead has got to be a constituent of Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.  Wayne (I Can’t Pronounce My Name Either) Propst says he has found fossils from when that loving Christian God decided to kill everyone in world with a flood. Self-proclaimed fossil expert Joe (I Studied Fossils At Trump University) Taylor confirmed the fossil was from the time of Noah’s ark.  Wayne also said he had found a bell from Santa’s sleigh, an egg from the Easter Bunny, a foot print in his garden made by Bigfoot and three quarters left by the Tooth Fairy.

We are finally getting down to the real mud slinging in the race to see who can be the sleaziest in the run for the Presidency.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is threatening to “spill the beans” about Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Sleazy & Creepy) Cruz’s wife Heidi.  I don’t know much about her except she is not a Texan or her name would be Heidi Doody.

A new study out has found that not all Trump supporters are stupid.  They found that a large number of his supporters are extremely stupid.

Once again this Sunday many people will be pondering that age old question.  Who came first? The bunny or the egg?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Thougts For A Tuesday

We certainly live in interesting times.  Hillary (I’m Kryptonite To Republicans) Clinton is trying to become the first woman President of the United States and Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is trying to be the first Canadian to be President of the United States.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump of course would not become the first buffoon to be President, as we have elected a number of those in the past, but would certainly qualify as the biggest. 

Speaking of first, the Iowa Caucus is coming up. The Iowa Caucus is most famous for picking losers.  Only five winners of the Iowa Caucus has ever gone on to be the nominee since 1972.  What a great claim to fame, but then when you’re Iowa, you don’t have much to brag about.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Somethings That Went Through My Mind And Came Out My Computer

A few things that happen during last night’s Republican Debate debacle.  

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz played the “Chicken Little” card and ran around the stage yelling, “They’re going to take away our guns, they’re going to take away our guns.” 

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump told Cruz to shut up and go back home to Canada where he belongs.  When Rafael said that he was a natural born citizen, Donnie said there was nothing natural about him. The Don also said after listening to Cruz, he was thinking about building a wall between the U.S. and Canada.

The stupidest quote of the night came from New Jersey Governor Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie when he said that President Obama was going to get blown out of office in November.  Evidently Cissy Poo thinks Obama is running for a third term.

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blow-hard, Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee said that we should treat poor people the same way we train dogs.  I’m sure he found that in The Bible somewhere. Probably in Ignoramus 3:16 where it says," take care of the poor until they shit in the floor."  

Senaterrible Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham came out today and endorsed Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush for President.  Lindsay also said he thought the Houston Texans would win the Super Bowl. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Year, Same Ole Humps

The gun-nut wacko TeaNut Republicans are having hissy-fits over President Obama’s executive decision on gun sellers. Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz immediately pulled out the lame and ridiculous “Obamas is going to take your guns”

 and Texas Congressmoron John (I’m Almost As Dumb As Louie Gohmert) Culbertson wants to defund the Justice Department over it. John also wants to visit the Wizard of Oz to see he will give him a brain.

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott was so upset he sent this tweet to the President.

Obama wants to impose more gun control. My response.#? COME & TAKE It.@NRA#tcot#PJNET

My response to Greggy Poo is How about we just come and take your chair away you dumbass…..

Amoron Bundy,the leader of the boneheads occupying the National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon carried  a copy of the Constitution in his pocket during his last press conference. Evidently he was looking for someone to read it to him. Ole Amoron said He and his followers want the refuge and millions of federally owned acres in the West transferred back to “the people,” I’m sure there a number of Native Americans that would be all for that, but I don’t believe that’s what he meant.

Amoron is youngest of the Bundy bunch and said he didn’t set out to be a leader.  He went on to say he always wanted to emulate his older brother Ted and become a serial killer, but didn’t have the brains for it.I don't think it will be very long and we will find out just how tough these boys are.  I understand their mommies forgot to pack them socks and snacks.

I have noticed a number of police departments around the country have changed their motto from To Protect and Serve, to Punish and Shoot.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Day One

What we learned in 2015.

• Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is just a rich David (KKK) Duke.

• Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush is NOT the smarter one.

• The Christian Right is mostly wrong.

• Minorities are now the majority.

• Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is not a stand up guy.

• Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert really is as dumb as he looks.

• Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was elected to be the Attorney General of Texas and turned out to be the Attorney Criminal of Texas.

• Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is the creepiest politician since Richard (I’m Really A Dick) Nixon.

• Dr. Ben ( I Can’t Keep My Eyes Open) Carson has a dual personality. Brain-Surgeon/Moron.

• Dr. Huxtable is a rapist.

• The Confederate Flag controversy proved that when southerners said “the south will rise again,’ they weren’t talking about I.Q. levels.

• Same Sex Marriage is highly upsetting to a lot of Same-ole-sex marriages.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Just Another Day Of Humps

The humps of the week are the nine boneheads who were on stage at last night’s Republican debate debacle.

I can’t figure out why people think Iowa is so important in the race to be President.  They have only picked the winner twice since 1972, but they are great at picking losers,their nose, teeth, seats, pockets, fights,cotton, corn and on each other.

So the really good news is that Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is leading in Iowa.

Uh oh, it looks like somebody’s been naughty

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Thankless Wednesday

A couple of big days coming up this week.  Tomorrow of course is Thanksgiving, or as Native Americans refer to it “The Last Supper,” where dysfunctional families all over the country get together for food and meaningless trivial unsubstantial conversation. 

The next day we have Black Friday, a day of remembering started by the relatives of the Thanksgiving turkey.

Most of the political remarks made this week by the Republican candidates for President can be summed up with this. “If you love war, Vote Republican”

 

Looks like Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump has come down with Fiorinaism.  This is a disease that can be contracted by standing too close to Snarly Carly( I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina.  One of the symptoms of this disease is seeing something that never happened.  Snarly Carly described a video that never existed and now little Donnie is describing an event he watched in Jersey City after 911 that there doesn’t seem to be any evidence of happening. 

Another symptom is exaggerating actual events.  Last week Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz told of Syrians being caught trying to cross the Texas border. The truth is the Syrians approached the authorities at the border and asked for asylum.

Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson may have the worst case.  I believe he is probably terminal.  There is an antidote for Fiorinaism: its facts, but of course facts won’t work for these boneheads as facts are like Kryptonite to Republicans.

Stay tuned for future adventures.