Time For Resolutions

Its New Years Eve so here is a quick review of 2014.
365 days
52 weeks
12 months.
Of course for your dog it was,
2555 days
364 weeks
84 months.

We are into the third week here in East Texas of Dish Network’s dropping Fox News from it’s channels and some withdrawal symptoms are starting to show up.  A number of people have reported having fleeting moments of compassion and empathy for their fellow man and others have been seen smiling in public.

One man exclaimed after seeing a picture of Texas Conressmoron Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert in the paper, “What an idiot.” He was taken to a hospital for observation. A woman was un-friended from Facebook after she wrote that she was having second thoughts about voting for Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott for Governor. 

Republican Majority Whip Steve (If Your White You’re Alright) Scalise who said on Monday that he didn’t remember making a speech to a white supremacy group a number of years ago, then on Tuesday said that he did remember making the speech but didn’t know they were a white supremacy group, said today that didn’t remember being a racist and that he didn’t know what one was. He said he voted against a national holiday for Dr. King because he thought they said B.B. King and he wasn’t a big blues fan.

Republican Congressmoron Michael (Boy Am I) Grimm has announced that he will resign from Congress.  He said that after much thought and prayer, plus the fact that he was found guilty of tax evasion, that he would slither back home and hope to not spend too much time in prison.




Stay tuned for future adventures.    

MONDAY boneHEADLINES

North Korean dictator Kim Jong unhappy is certainly filling up the tiny shoes of his daddy Kim Jong il, now known as Kim Jong dead. The media is calling it a War of Words but since he can hardly make a sentence, I think it will be a short war. He is all upset that his internet services have been interrupted a number of times in the past few days.  Sounds like he must have Comcast.  Anyway Kim Jong unwise is mad that people have accused Korea of not having the internet knowledge that the rest of the world has.

Little Kimmy says that he is very knowledgeable about the internet and he predicted that Napster would cause quite a problem for the music industry.  He also said that he has found the internet quite beneficial to him in a number of ways. He said that he just got an email saying that he had won the London lottery and he also had partnered up with a nice man in Nigeria and was helping him get some gold out of that country for a very nice profit.   

There is quite a catastrophe going on here in East Texas.  Dish Network has dropped Fox News and the TeaNut Republicans are having to make up their own lies about what’s going on in the world.

When Meet The Press moderator Chuck (Mr. Milktoast) Todd was asked why he didn’t confront politicians when they told big lies, he said that if he did they wouldn’t come back on the show. Wow, think about that answer for a minute. Well gee Chucky Pooh, why don’t you change the name of the show to “Pander to a Politician” or “Pimping for the TeaNuts.”  At least there would be some truth going on.  Jonny Lang has the perfect theme song for the show.


Stay tuned for future adventures.    

A Few Odds & Ends.

The New York Times is reporting that the winner of the longest winded bonehead in Congress goes to Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert.  Louie abused the ears and brains of his fellow congressmorons some 29 hours this past year.  A number of his fellow congressmorons said that next year they would chose water boarding over Louie’s inane rantings.

 The runner up long winded yacky doodle was Congressmoron Steve (No I Didn’t Write The Shining, but I Almost Wrote a Bill Once) King of Iowa. Steve only wasted some 9 hours harping on things that nobody cared about.  Thanks to my favorite bother-in-law for the heads up.  

I understand that now Sony Pictures has decided to release The Interview in select cities that Kim Jon-unhappy is really upset.  It seems that Pyongyang wasn’t selected.  Of course Pyongyang’s one theater can only run 16millimeter film.

I would also like to say happy birthday to a very special someone who was born on December 25^th.  That would be Isaac (Apple Core, Apple Core) Newton because if he hadn’t discovered gravity, we would all be floating around in space. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Christmas Wish

Here is hoping that all is well with you and yours.

That Santa drops you a bundle on his world tour.

Have a  Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday

While I go back to bed and sleep until Friday.

Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Monday Blah Blahs

I made the mistake of actually looking at Facebook this week. My usual routine is to open it up and see if I need to say happy birthday to someone, then close it immediately and go to www.theimmoralminority.blogspot.com. and www.juanitajean.com to be informed and entertained by people with knowledge and intelligence.

Anyway I saw a conversation going on about the Sony hacking story and someone wrote that this would have never happened on Reagan’s watch.  Huh! I have to admit that since the internet wasn’t in existence when that bonehead was President the only hacking was done by cigarette smokers, but let’s see what did happen on Ronald (Bad Actor, Really Bad President) Reagan’s watch.

Here is some more bad news on the education front. Not only has college tuition gone through the roof in the last decade, for no apparent reason that I can find, now we Texans find out that Condoleezza (Princess Liar of Iraq Wars) Rice is the front runner to be the next President of the University of Texas. She said if she got the job she would personally head up the Department of Misinformation.

It’s all in the name. I believe that Jed Clampett would make a better President than Jeb Bush.

Did Admiral Byrd and Admiral Perry have a Bi-Polar disorder?

I really don’t understand why anyone would ever take anything Bill (I’m America’s Bully) O’Rielly or Rush (Tiny Brain, Big Mouth) Slimebaugh says seriously because you can go into any neighborhood bar in America and find an overweight, half-drunk, pompous blowhard saying exactly the same things.    



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Random Stuff About Stupid People

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz has really got his panties in a bunch over President Obama normalizing diplomatic relationships with Cuba.  Funny how we have good diplomatic relations with Japan, Germany and Vietnam, but not those mean ole Cubans.  I guess Fidel and his brother could just row over here in a take over the country.  Since little Teddy is half Cuban, I guess he is afraid that his relatives are going to be coming over here asking him for money.  

Conservative blowhard, actually I think she will blow anybody, Ann (Ann Is Short For Andrew) Coulter said this week that that rapes only occur in physically violent circumstances, like “being hit on the head with a brick,” and anyone who says otherwise is just trying to get attention.  Wow and this from someone who will say anything to get attention.  I think we know what kind of a guy Ann was before having everything removed except his Adam’s apple

Talk show host moron, Pat (I Have God On Speed Dial) Robertson said on his 700 Club TV show (That’s how many viewers they have.) that homosexuals “will die out because they don’t reproduce.”   Well gee; I wonder where all those gay people came from? In an extremely long line of stupid things this bonehead has uttered, this could be the best ever.  

Texas Congressmoron Blake (Actually It’s Flake) Farenthold is being sued for inappropriate sexual comments by a former employee. This is no surprise as he is well known to be a total idiot, but here is what I didn’t know: The guy is the real head of Duck Dynasty and here is the picture to prove it.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

OMG! Not Another One

Former Florida Governor Jeb (What The Hell Kind of Name is Jeb?) Bush of the Bush Dynasty, better known as the Kardashians of politics, has announced he is forming an exploratory committee to see about running for President of the United States.  This means of course that the media will be turning up every horrible detail of brother George’s disastrous eight years in the White House for the next year.  So if you thought you were tired of hearing about the C.I.A. (Creepy Insane Assholes) report, think again.

Jeb explained that the first thing the exploratory group would be seeking for him would be a map so he would know where the White House was located.  They would also be conducting interviews to see if anyone knew what the name Jeb was short for.  They would also be looking for someone dumb enough to risk their political career as his running mate. 
Hump of the week.

Oklahoma Senaterrible Tom(I’m No Will Rogers) Corbun, who, thank god is retiring, is leaving with a perfect record. He has been an asshole since arriving in Washington D.C. and this week he proved he will always be an asshole. Little Tom Dumb placed a hold on the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans act this week saying that is was just too costly.  Experts believed that the bill would prevent an estimated 22 veterans a day from killing themselves.
 This stupid asshole doesn’t think veterans deserve much of anything.  He once objected to the plans to build a new VA health care facility in his state because that facility was going to be “too nice for the veterans”  If you didn’t know, little Tommy never served in the military and seems pretty dedicated into never serving them.


Stay tuned for future details.

Once A Dick, Always A Dick

Darth ( I Really Am A Dick) Cheney goes on the TV and says that he has no regrets and would do it all over a again and for the first time ever, I believe he is not lying. Wow, how did we get to here?  They always say that time will tell, I’m not sure who they are, but I really don’t think history will look too good for this time period.

This all started a number of years ago when a big time political consultant decided that he had found the perfect person to live up to the low standards of the Republican Party:  a bonehead who had no brains to speak of, but had the right last name.  This bonehead needed a vice president (possibly someone who had an inkling about politics since he didn’t) so he asked a friend of his daddy to select a running mate.  After much consideration, (about 15 seconds) the friend recommended himself.  Thus was born one of the worst administrations in American history.

But they still needed one last favor to get the door to the White House open. It seems that after their opponent had received over 550,000 more popular votes than they had, things were down to the wire in Florida where it just so happened that the bonehead’s brother was Governor. After much hand wringing, hours of discussing of what the hell a “chad” was and praying, they decided they needed someone with supreme powers to make the call.  So the men in black stepped in and selected the bonehead and his creepy handler to run the country.

Here we are years later still having to deal with  two needless wars, hundreds of thousands of lives dead and injured, billions of dollars wasted and now being accused world wide of being torturers while Bonehead sits in a room painting dogs and his handler gets to go on TV every five minutes and lie his ass off.  Only in America.



Stay tuned for future adventures. 

WASHINGTON D.(despicable) C.(creeps)

The TeaNut Republicans didn’t waste anytime deregulating and moving big money out of politics right into the politician’s pockets.  The 1.1 trillion dollar spending bill agreed on to keep the government’s lights on has some cute little gifts for the TeaNuts.  First of all they dismantle the Dodd-Frank Wall St. law so that Wall St. and the major banks can go back to scamming the public like they did that caused the 2008 financial meltdown and they raised the amount of money individual wealthy donors can give to national party committees from $32,400  to $324, 000 dollars. 
   

I’ll just say this about the few voters who decided that the TeaNuts should be in charge and actually voted and the massive amount of voters who decided to stay home. Some people are born stupid and for others it’s a learned disability.

Congressmoron Michele (I Really Am Dumber Than Sarah Palin) Bachmann gave her farewell speech on the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday.  Once again she proved that she really should be part of Cirque Soleil as she showed the ability to stick her foot in her mouth while having her head up her ass at the same time.  She said that Moses was the greatest lawgiver in the chamber because he brought the Ten Commandments to America.  Michele then went on to tell how it took Moses 40 years to find his way out of the House of Representatives chamber.    
   

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry went on TV this week and said that you don’t have to be smart to be President.  He said, “Running for the presidency’s not an IQ test.”  Well yeah,  George Warmonger Bush proved that.

 Once again Ida Clare has words of wisdom. Check it out.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

'Tis The Season For Unreason

Oh boy, only 15 more moping days til Christmas.

Since we are going to be subjected to non-stop Christmas music for the next couple of weeks, I thought I would do a little research into people’s favorite Christmas songs.

 The Smurf’s…. “Blue Christmas.”
Members of the KKK…  “White Christmas.”
Ringo Starr… “Little Drummer Boy.”
Sarah Palin… “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles…”I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”
Marlee Matlin…”Silent Night”
NSA…”Santa Claus is Watching You”
Mike Tyson….”All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”
National Chamber of Commerce…”Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
The Weather Channel…”Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow”
And I understand the retail merchants favorite Christmas song is “Fleece a Naïve Dad”

Please feel free to contribute.

The report released by the Senate Intelligence Committee (now there’s an Oxymoron for ya) is a real stocking stuffer for the C.I.A, George Waterboarding Bush and Darth (I Really Am a Dick) Cheney.  The report not only tells of extremely harsh torture but that they also didn’t gather any useful information. The word “impeachment” was evidently not in the Republicans vocabulary in those days.  

Even though I think George Warmonger and his Waterboard Crew ought to be in prison for war crimes, I know they never will spend a second in a cold hard cell, but it seems like at the very least they should all have to go before Judge Judy and get their ass chewed out on TV.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Texas Attorney General Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is suing President Obama for his executive action on immigration because he thinks that Congress should take care of this problem.  The problem with that is that Congress doesn’t take care of anything.  They are the most do-nothing Congress in history and now that the Republicans are going to be in charge you can expect that to continue. Of all the problems in America, here are few bills the Republicans wanted to pass last year.

Here is an example of future Senate Majority leader Head Kochhead Mitch (Duh, What Me Worry) McConnell’s constituents.

I find it amazing that this bunch of boneheads on Fox News blab on and on about race relations in this country.  

As if any of these people would have a clue to what it is like to be a black person in America.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

My How Time Flies When You're Having Fun.

Today is the 27^th anniversary of Miss Diana and I saying our “I do’s” and we have been doing it up right every since. I am so very grateful that I have Diana in my life.  She is one of the most creative, intelligent, thoughtful people I have ever met.  She is also a wonderful artist and fantastic writer. You can see for yourself right here. 

Why she has put up with me for 27 years is beyond me, but I am so thankful that she has. She has been the love of my life and the best wife, lover, companion, soul mate, partner-in-crime, pal, buddy, housemate, colleague, tutor, editor, other half, counterpart, spouse, bride and teammate in the world. I also want to thank her for the swell thesaurus she got me.    


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Pondering and Musing

As most of you know who peruse this little bit of fluff, I’m not a religious person, but I’m thinking that I may become a Clausian.  Well for the month of December at least.  The two names that pop up the most at this time of the year are Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.  Both are suppose to be keeping track of who has been good and who has been naughty. Here is the reason I’m thinking Clausian is for me.  People have been saying for two thousand years that Jesus was coming back to take everyone to Heaven, but he hasn’t showed up once.  On the other hand, Santa shows up every year like clock work with a sled full of goodies.

There once was a place in Austin called the Armadillo World Headquarters. I went there a number of times and never did see a single armadillo.

I have noticed that Fox News never has any stories about foxes although they do have a number of jackasses on the air.

In the NFL (Numerous Felons League) is the illegal horse-collar tackle only enforced when the Denver Broncos or Indianapolis Colts are playing?  Are the fans of the Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals, Philadelphia Eagles, Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons called bird watchers?

I have never heard the people on the Duck Dynasty TV show refer to Daffy, Donald, Huey, Dewey or Louie.  If KFC, Church’s, Popeye’s and Chic-fil-a were to merge, would they be called Cluck Dynasty?   



Stay tuned for future adventures.