Hurricane Season 2020

It is hurricane season again, so here is my annual blog post about it. The prediction for this year’s hurricane season is out and they call for a similar season as last year. They are predicting 13 named storms and 5 hurricanes, two of which will be in the “major” range.

Although it is predicted to be an average season, that doesn’t mean it is without danger. Last year Harvey was a Category 4 storm when it hit Texas and people are still recovering. Irma came into Florida as a Category 3 and Maria hit Puerto Rico as a Category 4 and they still haven’t recovered.

Fifteen years ago when I began writing SURGE, I had just read a similar article about how active the next ten to fifteen years were going to be for hurricanes.  After much research and many visits to hurricane conferences, interviewing lots of folks with the National Weather Bureau and emergency managers in our area, I came to know how vulnerable Houstonians and the people who live in New Orleans were to a major hurricane. 

I decided on writing a novel because I didn’t want to write about hurricanes that had been here, ie, the great Galveston hurricane of 1900 or Carla, I wanted to write about the one that was still out there.  After talking with a lot of different people in the area, I knew there was a certain amount of apathy about hurricanes.  I was guilty of it myself.  My foremost priority was to have an exciting story that would be a good read no matter what part of the country you lived in, but I also wanted to try to make people who live in coastal areas aware of what could happen if we were to take a direct hit by a Category 4 or 5 storm.

SURGE was published in 2004, the same year that Florida got slammed with four hurricanes, but we here in Texas were unscathed. Then things got really scary in 2005. We all sat in front of our TV’s and watched the terrible scenes unfolding from Katrina’s visit to New Orleans which was only a Category 2 storm by the time it came ashore.

I still remember very vividly coming home from a live interview via satellite with Rita Cosby on MSNBC as Hurricane Rita churned as a Category 5 in the Gulf heading straight for Houston. This was a scenario that I had been living with for almost 5 years and now it appeared to be coming true. Fortunately as we all know, Rita weakened to a Category 2 and turned right before hitting us, doing the most damage to Beaumont and southern Louisiana.

If you are interested in what could have happened had she not made a little jog and stayed a Category 5, I invite you to read SURGE.  It’s still available at Amazon; book or Kindle (you can click on the button by the book cover), or you can order it at any book store in the world.  I have been told by a number of weather experts including the fine people at the National Hurricane Center in Miami and hurricane consultants that SURGE is an accurate portrayal of what could happen if Houston has to face a direct hit from a Category 5 storm. 

Below are a few quotes from some of them.  

“….It presents a scary scenario that is entirely possible in the Houston/Galveston area.  The type of storm described in this book is a Meteorologist’s nightmare.”
Gene Hafele, National Weather Service, Houston/Galveston.  

“Being an emergency manager, I was a bit reluctant to get started, thinking I wouldn’t really care for it, but when I finally got to it, I couldn’t put it down.  A great story with some good surprises.”  

Eliot Jennings, Emergency Manager Coordinator, City of Galveston

  

“What made Surge a gripping, “couldn’t put it down” read, was Tanner’s physical descriptions of Dolly.  Few in this area understand the enormous destructive power of a Category 5 hurricane and how a direct hit will transform this area.  Tanner translates the dry statistical data and predictions into a frightening description of what will happen to those unfortunates caught in such a storm’s path.  I could hear the howling winds and see the angry storm surge charging up Galveston Bay.  I could feel the “soaked to the bone” exhaustion as the characters fought to survive Dolly’s wrath.”  

 Bill King, Mayor, City of Kemah            

“In SURGE, Tanner has dotted his work with a cast of characters as colorful as his background.  There’s the good, the bad, the beauty and those in-between.  From politicians to Joe Blue-collar, they’re all there and then some.”

Chuck Hlava, Editor Mariner’s Log  

“Mr Tanner’s highly descriptive narrative brings the story alive showing what emergency managers along the coast fear more than any type of event, a major hurricane, what I call a Tropical Terrorist.  His wordsmithing has made this storm story a very human one - thanks to the use of real locations known to people that live in the area today.  As I read it, I could picture the event happening.”

Lew Fincher, VP of Hurricane Consulting  

 So hurricane season is here again and once again the same thought is running through my mind.  That storm is sill out there.    

An Open Letter To Congress

Dear Congress,

READ THE MULLER REPORT. DO YOUR DAMN JOB.!!!!!!

Yours truly,

Rod Tanner

Stay tuned for future adventures.

GOP : Group Of Pricks

Interim Texas Secretary of State Republican David (I Don’t Like People Who Vote) Whitley has resigned. Dip Shit Dave got in trouble when he attempted to remove 98,000 voters from the voter registration rolls. Witless Whitley oversaw the botched review that prompted a congressional investigation over voting rights and dragged the state into three federal lawsuits.

Now if we can just get Texas Governor Gregg (I Haven’t Got A Leg To Stand On) Abbott and Lt. Governor Dan (I Haven’t Got A Plan or A Clue) Patrick to follow suit, Texas would be a better place to live.

Texas  Republican Congressmoron Chip (Ahoy) Roy blocked the long-overdue 19 billion dollar disaster aid bill this week. Little Chippy said he blocked it because there wasn’t money in the bill for the leader of his cult, Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump’s border wall. The relief measure would deliver money to Southern states suffering from last fall’s hurricanes. The fact that the 2019 hurricane season starts in a week didn’t seem to enter the Chipster’s tiny little brain. If Texas remains dead last in voting, we will continue to have incompetent assholes like this representing the Lone Star State.

 And we have an encore.

For the second time this week, the 19 billion dollar disaster aid bill has been blocked. This time Republican Congressmoron Thomas (There is Nothing Classy About) Massie of Kentucky has blocked the bill. Tightwad Thomas said the price tag was just too high. He said we need to have cheaper hurricanes from now on. It appears the voters in Kentucky like incompetent assholes representing them also.

 Stay tuned for future adventures

A Small Window Into A Warped Mind

Yesterday I spent the day watching the Indianapolis 500 and then the Charlotte 600. Today I plan on watching The Jackson 5, The 3 Musketeers, 9 to 5, The Three Stooges, Fantastic Four, The Magnificent Seven and The Sixth Sense.

Texas Congressmoron Chip (Ahoy) Roy blocked the 19 Billion dollar long over due disaster bill last week because it didn't have any money in it for Trump's Fantasy Wall.  The bill would provide money for southern states hit by hurricanes last fall. It didn't seem to enter Little Chippy's tiny little brain that the 2019 hurricane season starts in a week. But as long as Texas remains dead last in voting we will continue to have incompetent assholes like the Chipster representing us.

Once again Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump went over seas and embarrassed America. This time he traveled to Japan to make a fool of himself. The Don Dumb attended a sumo wrestling match and thought he had to dress like the contestants.  

I met a Trump Cult member in Wal-Mart the other day. He said to me, "Do you know anything about Trump? He says he is 72 but he looks 65." I said that I the thought the 72 number was his I.Q. As we were talking he said he didn't like Obama and I asked him why. He said he didn't think he did anything.

Stay tuned for future adventures

Musing And Pondering

Do winery's have signs in their restrooms that say; "All employees must wash their feet before returning to work" Just wondering.

It seems that Mississippi State Representative Republican Douglas (HURRY UP DAMN IT) McLeod doesn't get laid very often. He was arrested for punching his wife in the face for not getting undressed fast enough for sex. He has very quickly been asked to resign.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump stormed out of his meeting with the Democrats and threw a tantrum in the Rose Garden today. I understand he stomped his feet, held his breath until he turned blue and cried "everybody is picking on me." He then went back into the Oval Office and curled up under his desk and went to sleep.

After his nap, Trumpypoo told everyone that he was the most transparent President in History. You have to admit the fact that he is a giant con man and crook is clear as a bell.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben (Wake Me Up When It's Over) Carson 
proved once again during a hearing this week that he is the only brain surgeon on the planet that has very little brains. He is so incompetent in his job that he couldn't answer simple questions. He didn't know a common term used in the housing industry. I saw an incredibly stupid picture of Ben on Facebook holding up a sign that said he was Christian. I believe if you have to tell people that you are a Christian, you are probably not a very good Christian.

On a serious note. It has been sixty days since the Muller Report came out and most of the people in Congress have not read it yet. I find that pathetic.CONGRESS DO YOUR JOB. I read it as soon as it became available and found that it proved convincingly that Trump does not deserve to be President of the United States.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Preachers, Politicians And Pimps

The usual disclaimer: There is nothing in here about pimps.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump wants to celebrate Memorial Day by pardoning War Criminals.I understand he is torn between calling it National Benedict Arnold Day or Anti-Geneva Conventions Day. I am pretty sure this is the first step in pardoning family and associates. A whistle blower has come forward saying Deutsche Bank covered up 2016 Kushner money transfers with Russia.

Tennessee Preacher David (I Believe In The Laying of Hands All Over My Daughter) Richards who was convicted last week of raping his adopted daughter for two years received a very light sentence. Judge Steve (Not The Sharpest) Sword gave him 12 years instead of the 72 years prosecutors asked for. Judge Steve cited the Pastors"good work" in the community and praised him for leading a bible study group while he was incarcerated. I believe they were studying Ignoramus 4-23 which says "women are just property." Obviously both of these assholes believe in the God of Misogamy. The only bright spot in this ugly story is a petition calling for Judge Steve to be removed from the bench has already gotten 14,000 signatures.

I understand Sarah (My Daddy Is A Dip Shit and So Am I) Sanders picture has started showing up on milk cartoons.

I have never been to New Zealand but it seems like a really good place to live. It only took their Parliament 15 days to outlaw assault weapons after a Trump supporting right wing white supremacist killed 51 people in two mosques. Yesterday they voted the lawmaker out of office who had said that immigration was to blame for the massacre.

I am proud to say that my little blog is being read in a number of countries around the world. I'm not sure why, but it is nice to know. It seems my biggest following is in France. I have no idea why, but I would love to visit there sometime.  My two favorite things about France are Inspector Clouseau and Pepe Le Pew.


Stay tuned for future adventures

A Little Bit Of This And Some Of That

Texas State Republican Representative Tony (Mr. Misogynous) Tenderholt has once again introduced a bill that would allow criminal prosecution of women for their abortions. Tony Boy who has been married 5 times says the bill is necessary to make women “more personally responsible” Evidently Tony thinks women can get pregnant by themselves. I vote we send this asshole a bus ticket to Alabama where he will feel right at home.

Mark (Mind-Reader) Morgan who is the White House choice to lead Immigration and Customs Enforcement said, “I can tell which migrant children will become gang members by looking into their eyes.” I can do better than that. I can tell without ever meeting him that he is a total idiot.

The latest right wingnut Judge to be confirmed to a Federal Judgeship in Louisiana is Wendy (I Lean So Far To The Right, I Walk In Circles) Vitter. Wendy spouted crap such as abortion causes cancer and taking birth control can lead to cervical and liver cancer. She also said, “women who take oral contraceptives prefer men with similar DNA, and that women in these partnerships have fewer sexual relations, leading to more adultery, and understandably…violence.” Wendy wasn’t qualified to be a judge on The Gong Show.

The latest Straw Poll shows that the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz has more brains than Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump.

I understand there is a new television show in the works based on Trump supporters cult members. Its called The Walking Dumb.

Evidently National Security Director John (Bombs Away) Bolton has invested his life savings into War Bonds or he has come down with a major case of the DICK CHENEY. He thinks we need to attack Iran.




Stay tuned for future adventures

Bubbles From My Soapbox

Texas Senator Ted (I Haven’t Got A Clue) Cruz has decided that America needs to be worried about pirates from space. Ted said yesterday that he thinks Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump’s Space Force is a good idea. Ted really should know about space since there is so much space between his ears. In fact, between his ears is all space, no brains whatsoever.

A little background on Alabama Governor Kay (Poison) Ivy who just signed the strictest abortion bill in history.  She supported child molester Roy (I Like Em Young) Moore in his Senate run last year. Obviously being a Republican is more important than being a woman to Kay. 

If a person is against abortion, they should never ever have one under any circumstance. The ONLY time men have the right to talk about abortion is right before they pull their dicks out of their pants. Other than that STFU. This is not about babies. Republicans don't give a shit about children. The great state of Alabama ranks 50 in education. This is about Good Ole Boys controlling Dumb Ole Girls. Republicans are against abortion right up til their girlfriends or mistress get pregnant. 

A group of TV executives approached Trump and asked him if he would like to host a television reality show. Trump asked if they were with The Apprentice and they said no, they were with The Biggest Loser.

Last week I said that a new poll revealed that there were two kinds of Trump supporters cult members, stupid and Real Stupid. A new poll tell us there are two kinds of Republicans. Despicable  and Extremely Despicable.

Pat (I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson said on his 700 Club (700 is how many people watch this shit) yesterday that God will get rid of the United States if the Equality Act passed. Pat said he was reading in Leviticus that "the land will vomit you out." I'm not sure what that means, but I know whenever I see Pat I want to vomit. Leviticus was written by Moses, the number one homophobic in the bible. Moses was also the world's worst tour guide. He spent 40 years wondering around a desert you can walk across in six weeks. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures 

Preachers, Politicans and Pimps

Actually I don't have anything to say about pimps, I just like the title. But I will say of the three, pimps are the only ones who actually provide a service.

Speaking of preachers, Jerry (Daddy Was A Con Man, I'm Just a Asshole) Falwell Jr. has been in the news lately. It seems there are some racy pictures floating around of Jerry, his wife and some pool boy. I think they were practicing mouth to mouth resuscitation together. Then again it could have been just a menage a trois baptism.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump is still trying to sell the country on the big lie that tariffs are good and not bad and that Americans are not the ones who pay for them. This of course is a GIANT lie. You just have to wonder why a guy who has gone bankrupt in every company he ever started, who has been sued over 1500 times and lost over a BILLION dollars in a decade wouldn't know how business works.

 A new poll out this week finds that there are two kinds of Trump supporters cult members. Stupid and REAL stupid. Those in the second category are the ones who sent money to Brian (I May Be A Bigger Con Man Than Trump) Kolfage. Brian is the brain child behind the GoFundMe scam to build Trumps Wall. It seems Brian spent a million dollars of the 20 million that boneheads sent him on buying himself a new yacht. I am pretty sure Brian is sailing off to the Cayman's with the other 19 million in tow.



Stay tuned for future adventures

Pondering and Musing

Watching the NRA shooting themselves in the foot has been most entertaining. It seems Executive Vice-President Wayne (I Only Shoot My Mouth Off) LaPierre and President Oliver (Iran-Contra Felon) North decided to have a gun fight. They accused each other of stealing money from their membership. The fun part is that they were both right. Here is a little history of the NRA.

The NRA started as the National Rifle Assocation. When they decided to get into politics they dropped gun safety completely and it became No Rifles Anymore because they were only interested in selling hand guns and assault weapons. Not long after getting into politics they morphed into becoming the National Radical Assholes. When the 2016 election came along, they became Now Rubbles Accepted. And finally after the story broke that the top leaders and venders was embezzling money from the subscribers, they became Now Robbing Assets. 

I watched the Kentucky Derby and thought it was a great race. I also thought it took a lot of courage for the Stewards of the Kentucky Racing Commission to make the call that Maximum Security interfered with other horses to win and disqualify him. Wow we could have used these guys in the 2016 election. 

I am pretty sure that all the information that is coming out of the Muller Report is making Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump's hair stand on end. Facts are like Kryptonite to Trumpie Poo.

500 former Federal Prosecutors have signed a letter saying that after reading the Muller Report that Trump was definitely guilty of obstruction.  When told of the letter, Donnie told one of his aides that this was serious and to get Perry Mason on the phone.

Jerry Falwell Jr. thinks that Trump should get two more years because of the Russian investigation by Muller.The prosecutors say obstruction should warrant around five years but I'll go with Jerry and say that The Don should really get 7 to 9 years in the Federal pen.

Stay tuned for future adventures.