The Emperor Has No Clothes

What is possibly the dumbest quote to come out after Donald )Little DICK-tator) Trump’s misogynistic comments caught on tape is from Tony (Faux Christian, Real Hypocrite) Perkins of the Family Research Council who said,  “My personal support for Donald Trump has never been based upon shared values.”  Sorry, wrong answer Tony.  If you support Trump, then you are just as big of a racist, misogynistic, homophobic asshole as The Don.   

Michele (I’m Happy, But My Husband Is Really Gay) Bachmann says she still supports Trump.  Well of course she does.  Michele was an imbecile long before she became a Trump supporter imbecile.
 

Trump VP Mike (Homophobic Asshole) Pence broke a world record yesterday.  It was for the 40 yard dash as he was running from reporters asking him about Trump’s comments on women.

I believe that if a person doesn’t like Hillary, then they shouldn’t vote for her.  If that person is voting for Trump just because they don’t like Hillary, that is dumb. If a person is voting for Trump because they like him, that is beyond dumb.

I do believe that Dumbass Donald’s stupid remarks will far surpass Romney’s 47% gaff with flying colors.  This really doesn’t qualify as an “October Surprise” as it came out of the clusterfuck known as the Trump campaign.

Of all the creepy clown stories in the news, this is by far the scariest.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Blah Blahs

Talk radio host Kevin ((I Have A Lower I.Q. Than Pat Robertson) Swanson hosted a little gossip session in Iowa this past weekend known as the National Religious Liberties Conference. Kev is also the pastor of The First Church of the Stupid. Their members believe that Eve shouldn’t taken that bite out of the tree of knowledge.  Little Kev is the poster boy for all misogynistic, homophobic assholes everywhere.  He thinks gay people should be stoned to death and that God wrecks havoc with floods and disease on nations that don’t follow his commandments.  

So with credentials like that Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee, Rafael ( I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz and Booby (Jihad) Jindal couldn’t wait to get up there to lick his boots and say really stupid things.  They all agreed that Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis was a real American and that if they became President, Jesus would be their Vice-President.
 

The latest Republican polls still show Carson and Trump leading, but there is some good news in there.  “None of the Above” has now moved up to number 4.  I don’t think there is a chance in hell of Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson being the Republican nominee, but I do think there is a medical procedure that could extend his run a little bit longer.  He could have his jaw wired shut.

Michele (Section Eight) Bachmann traveled over to Israel to try and convince those folks that Jesus had booked his flight and was heading back so they needed to convert to Christianity. And here in the good ole USA,  Christians are just beside themselves because Starbucks have taken the snowflakes and reindeer off of their Christmas cups and now they are just plain red.  They claim it is more of the "War on Christmas." I am at a loss to explain why having a plan red cup is an assault on Christmas. Maybe they think when Jesus decides to come back, he will be riding Rudolf.    I have said it before but it is worth repeating.  I will be so glad when the rapture gets here and these assholes will be gone.

Between denying climate change, the right for gays to marry, the economic recovery and the decline in unemployment, I think the GOP (Group of Panders) should now be referred to as the GOD (Group of Deniers).  After all it fits their image so well. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

WASHINGTON D.(despicable) C.(creeps)

The TeaNut Republicans didn’t waste anytime deregulating and moving big money out of politics right into the politician’s pockets.  The 1.1 trillion dollar spending bill agreed on to keep the government’s lights on has some cute little gifts for the TeaNuts.  First of all they dismantle the Dodd-Frank Wall St. law so that Wall St. and the major banks can go back to scamming the public like they did that caused the 2008 financial meltdown and they raised the amount of money individual wealthy donors can give to national party committees from $32,400  to $324, 000 dollars. 
   

I’ll just say this about the few voters who decided that the TeaNuts should be in charge and actually voted and the massive amount of voters who decided to stay home. Some people are born stupid and for others it’s a learned disability.

Congressmoron Michele (I Really Am Dumber Than Sarah Palin) Bachmann gave her farewell speech on the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday.  Once again she proved that she really should be part of Cirque Soleil as she showed the ability to stick her foot in her mouth while having her head up her ass at the same time.  She said that Moses was the greatest lawgiver in the chamber because he brought the Ten Commandments to America.  Michele then went on to tell how it took Moses 40 years to find his way out of the House of Representatives chamber.    
   

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry went on TV this week and said that you don’t have to be smart to be President.  He said, “Running for the presidency’s not an IQ test.”  Well yeah,  George Warmonger Bush proved that.

 Once again Ida Clare has words of wisdom. Check it out.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Queen Of The Tea Party Comes Out

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Michele (I want to be President of this great country even though I’m not sure what country this is) Bachmann has kicked her presidential run off with a bang today.  She said in Waterloo, Iowa when she was announcing her candidacy "Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."

Unfortunately that particular John Wayne was from Winterset Iowa which is across the state.  The John Wayne of Waterloo is John Wayne Gacy, serial killer of 33 teenage boys. I wonder if Michele plans on hiring a speech writer soon that has heard of the Internet and Google?  

Here are a few other quotes from Michele (I’m even dumber than Sarah) Bachmann that will give you a little idea of how tuned in she is to the environment. This is what Michele said last week, "Look, I love the environment. I love clean air, clean water. I'm a sportswoman. I love the outdoors.”   Uh, right…this what she has said in the past.

• 'I came away with the idea that [the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge] is the most perfect place on the planet to drill.' [8/13/08]

• 'The big thing we are working on now is the global warming hoax. It’s all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.' [3/15/08]

• 'There isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful.' [4/22/09]

Of course this is what scientist claim about carbon dioxide.  They say it is toxic to the heart and causes diminished contractile force (whatever that means) but hey, what do they know? I can see why big oil loves this pin-head.

Former Governor of Illinois, Rod (Does anyone have a comb?) Blagojevich, was convicted on 17 out of 20 charges against him yesterday.  The former governor said he was very disappointed. He thought maybe they could run the table but that 17 out of 20 wasn’t bad.  When the jury was polled, they were unanimous on him having the world’s worse hair-do.

Bristol (I thought they said practice being obstinate) Palin has somehow managed to cram her vast knowledge of life into a 255 page memoir titled “Not Afraid Of Life.”  Of course 250 pages are dedicated to getting laid and running down Levi Johnson, the lay-er.  The real title should be “Get Drunk, Get Knocked-up, Get Rich.” 


Well I survived my 50th high school reunion in pretty good shape.  I was right to be a little nervous about there being a lot of old people there.  Not only were they old but they all seemed to have memory problems, most of them vaguely remembered me but they were all adamant that I wasn’t the valedictorian of my class.  I tried to explain that I helped our English teacher out occasionally and was vowel custodian.

The football coach was still pissed after all of these years and wanted me to bring back the equipment and my uniform.  The old high school was no longer standing but neither were most of the graduates.  I did get a picture of the homecoming king and queen.  They looked just as happy as they did on prom night.

I also got a photo of one my teachers who taught Health. 

All in all it was a fun time.  There were no fistfights, gun fights or knife fights but there was lots of shouting matches from those who were too vain to wear their hearing aids




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrumph Day

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So far Sarah’s Hysterical Bus Tour is very Palin-esk.. It seems to have no direction, gets lost quite often, has made a number of wrong turns and has ended up in the bar ditch a few times, but on the up-side she has made a major gaffe at every stop.

We now have Sarah Palin’s explanation of why Paul Revere was ringing those bells. It was door bells. She claimed he was one of Boston’s first Jehovah’s Witness.

24,199 pages of emails sent between former Gov. Sarah Palin and state officials are set to be released on Friday to the public. Early word is that 24,196 pages contain the words, “You betcha."

The International Atheist Meeting was last week in Dublin, Ireland. Man you know there was some swearing, drinking, fighting and screwing going on there and just down the street was the Atheist conference.

The interesting thing is that the Atheist, who totally deny the existence of God, were meeting right next door to the International Agnostic Meeting who only doubt the existence of God. Across the street was the International Apathy Meeting and they of course don’t care either way.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is the real deal. He walked the walk, talked the talk and made the maid.

And the big winner in the Name That Wiener Contest goes to Democratic Congressman Anthony (Oscar Mayer) Weiner. Mr. Weiner wins a one-way trip to the Hall of Shame for incredibly stupid adolescent politicians. He joins Congressman Chris(Shirtless) Lee, Senator John (If my lips are moving, I’m lying) Edwards, Congressman Charles (I lost my Ways and Means) Rangel, Senator John (What, humping my best friend’s wife is wrong?) Ensign, and former South Carolina Governor Mark (I’m hiking) Sanford.

A global poll just released names Americans the funniest in the world. Well yeah, when you are home to Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressman Anthony Weiner, Newton Leroy Gingrich, Pat Robertson, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, and John Edwards, how can you not be?

I see where Governor Rick (Serial Politician) Perry is having a prayer meeting here in Houston. It’s called: “The Response, A Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis.” Wow, just think if this works as well as when the Governor  had us all pray for rain….wait a minute, we didn’t get a drop. Never mind.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Toke And Poke

Medical marijuana is now a $1.7 billion market, according to a report released Wednesday by See Change Strategy, an independent financial analysis firm that specializes in new and unique markets.  Compare that with Viagra, which is a $1.9 billion business.  I think that makes for way more “Stoners with Boners” than I ever imagined. .

And Now For Today’s Politics

Seeing the latest figures from the census showing the explosion of the Latin population in the United States, the GOP might think about learning Spanish rather than building a wall.

The former House speaker Nitwit Gingrich was quick to criticize President Barack Obama two weeks ago for not being more forceful in leading an international campaign to destroy Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi's.  Gingrich said the United States should tell Gadhafi "that slaughtering your own citizens is unacceptable and that we're intervening."    On Wednesday, Nitwit did an about-face and said, "I would not have intervened." .  …. Wow…Mr. Decisive.  And this bonehead wants to be President?

Speaking of folks who want to be President.  Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) says she has not made a decision yet on whether she will run for president. This will certainly make the 2012 election interesting if Mrs. Bachmann and Mrs. Palin both decide to run.   They would split the idiot vote. Both of these ladies have a screw loose.  Obviously it’s the screw that keeps their mouth shut.

General Electric, the nation’s largest corporation, reported worldwide profits of $14.2 billion, and said $5.1 billion of the total came from its operations in the United States.  So how much do they owe the IRS? .….ZERO, NADA, ZILCH… In fact, G.E. claimed a tax benefit of $3.2 billion.  Even as the government faces a mounting budget deficit, the GOP talk in Washington is about lower tax rates.  WAKE UP FOLKS… lower taxes for the corporate world, not for us common folks.


Stay tuned for future adventures.