Sheet For Brains

I wasn’t going to write about this, but alas I must.  First many GOP (Gang of Prevaricators) boneheads immediately jumped into defending Republican Majority Whip Steve (If You Are White, You’re Alright) Scalise after finding out he spoke at a White Supremacy meeting. You remember little Stevie claimed he didn’t know it was a Klan gathering, he thought it was a convention for sheet salesmen.

So everybody from John (Its My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To) Boehner to Sarah (Half Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin said what a great guy Steve was. Then this week Bill (America’s Biggest Bully) O’Reily had head Klan Butthead David (I’m Not A Racist, I Just Hate Black People) Duke on his TV show to blather on how he wasn’t a racist.

Anyway I found this article on Democrats Organizing for America.  I couldn't find who wrote it, but it says exactly what I think.

"I'm not a racist but..."
Sure you are. You just changed your clothes.

In 2015, racists with white hoods and swastikas- while they're still out there- are marginalized and shunned; relics of a bygone era. Today's modern racist wears a suit and a Tea Party hat and talks about "urban thugs' instead of ni**ers.

Instead of burning crosses in yards they cut funding for schools in poor neighborhoods and advocate mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients.
Instead of demanding separate drinking fountains they warn of immigrant children carrying Ebola and sent by Muslims to infect and destroy America.

They don't scream and curse at black children attending white schools any more- they just try to take away their school lunch and any chance for a college scholarship.
They don't make folks sit in the back of the bus, they just refuse to pay them a living wage and call that 'freedom' and 'liberty'.

They don't refuse to sit in the same restaurant as black people- they just wonder about the President's birth certificate, say that he 'doesn't have American values' and accuse him of flashing gang signs.

They don't keep black people as slaves any more... they just compare everything from health insurance to food stamps to slavery and remind us that after all slaves DID get free room and board.

They don't lynch them in the dark, they just cheer when the police shoot them down in broad daylight for 'resisting arrest' or 'making a threatening gesture' like holding a cell phone.

So please- keep your "I'm not a racist" excuses to yourself. You can dress yourself up any way you like- call yourself a "conservative Christian pro-life trickle-down flat-tax tough-love Republican" or whatever other disguise you choose, but a racist by any name has the same disgusting smell. It's the smell of hate and entitlement, and it gives you away every time.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Walking Dumb...Part 2

Politicians love attention and I think maybe New Jersey Governor Chris (I’m Not Overweight, I’m Overwrought) Christie may have hit the jackpot.  He is now the center of seven different investigations. 

 

House Whinner John (It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want Too) Boehner plans on suing President Obama because he thinks the Prez has abused his power of executive order.      Here's a list of executive orders used since little Ronnie (Bad Actor, Really Bad President) Reagan was in office.
Ronald Reagan: 381
George Bush: 166
William J. Clinton: 364
George W. Bush 291
Barack Obama 168

Bonehead Boehner obviously failed math in school.

 

The NRA (National Rabid Assholes) believes that obsessed wackos and wife beaters should have the right to own guns just like every other gun nut in the world.  You see there is proposed legislation that would prohibit people convicted of stalking and domestic violence from owning guns and they are against it.  After all, owning a gun is a God given right.  I believe it says so in Smith & Wesson, 38-45. Like Phil (Duck DickHead) Robertson says, if Jesus had had a gun, there wouldn’t be any of this crucifixion shit.

 

 I do have a couple of questions for the members of the NRA (Notoriously Ridiculous  Assholes). What well regulated militia are you a member of and when was the last time you had to take your precious gun and defend yourself from the United States Government?  Patriots of the Revolutionary War rebelled against a government of another country. Evidently gun nuts of today missed that section of American history.  Maybe home schooling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? 

 

Arizona school superintendent John ( I Am A Equal Opportunity Offender) Huppenthal has apologized for posting anonymous hurtful blog comments.  It appears that he has a long history of making offensive and often racist comments about the poor, Hispanics, Blacks, Planned Parenthood, and others.  I understand Arizona Governor Janice Kooky Brewer has really come down hard on ole John.  She made him write “I Will Not Be An Asshole Anymore’ a hundred times on the blackboard. 

 

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert was so pissed about all of the unaccompanied children coming across the Texas border that he had to go on the floor of the House and rant about it.

 Of course if these were fetuses, then he would down there welcoming them with open arms.

 

I haven’t watched any of the World Cup but I did hear about the player who bit another player and was kicked out.   I didn’t even know Mike (How Do You Like These Toothers) Tyson was playing soccer now.  

Speaking of the World Cup, Faux News faux psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablowhard is claiming the reason so many people in America are watching is because it is a conspiracy by President Obama to distract attention from him.  This so stupid it does even deserve one of my wise ass comments.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine....Unless You're Sick.

Somebody told Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry that he need to change his image after last year’s Presidential run where he looked like a dufus, so he got himself a pair of black horn rimmed glasses.

Now he looks like a dufus with glasses.

Texas Senaterrible Ted (The Liar King) Cruz in an interview with Chris Wallace in front of a live audience said that he was against the government shut down which got a big round of laughs. I think maybe little Teddy is thinking of a career change to stand up comic.

Texas Attorney General Gregg (I Really Want to be King) Abbott who is now wanting to roll into the Governor’s office has released his campaign platform.  It does not contain one positive thing for any Texan. According to Texas Monthly “The Abbott proposals do not build one highway, they do not educate one child, they do not improve the health of one community. Abbott is doubling down on the tea party agenda.”  I doubt if ole Gregg saw the article since he gets all of his information out of “The Weekly Reader.”

The roll out of the new PlayStation 4 has been plagued with problems and I haven’t heard one complaint about it from the Republicans. I’m telling ya these boneheads don’t care about the important stuff.

House Speaker John (The Town Cryer) Boehner said yesterday that President Obama was wrecking the best health care delivery system in the world. My first thought when I read this is how is Obama wrecking the Canadian Health Care system, then I realized that he was talking about our health care system.

I think maybe John should do a little research before shooting his mouth off. Two different studies out this week show a very different picture.  These studies by the way go back 15 years or longer.  They show that Americans pay more per capita for health care than any other industrialized country in the world and we are sicker, die younger and are very unhappy with our system. I’m pretty sure Bonehead was talking about his health care plan which is first class and paid for by all of us taxpayers. 
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Stay tuned for future adventures.

Halloweenies

There is a haunted house that has opened in Jacksonville, Texas that has a Christian theme.  I understand it is loaded with some really creepy scary people like Pat Robertson, Jerry Farwell, Rick Warren, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye, Robert Tilton and of course their old favorite The Holy Ghost.

Here are the hottest Halloween costumes for 2013.  If you really want something creepy to scare the hell out of your neighborhood try The Ted Cruz or The Sarah Palin.  If you are going for laughs and want a cartoon figure, you need The Rick Perry.  Maybe the goofy buffoon is your cup of tea, The John Boehner should do. If you are into zombies, it’s The Tea Party or monsters then The Koch Brothers will do nicely. If jailbird or convict is your thing, The Lindsay Lohan is perfect. If you are into the creepy guy from Nightmare on Elm Street then you want The John McCain. And for the sexy trick or treater, The Miley Cyrus. It comes with a crane and a wrecking ball.

 The University of California policeman who stirred public outrage by pepper-spraying peaceful student protesters has been awarded $38,000 in worker's compensation for psychiatric damage he claimed to have suffered from the 2011 incident.  Seems to me the psychiatric damage should have been compensation enough.




 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day

 

• Charlie Sheen loses his custody battle.  An L.A. judge has ruled that Charlie is no longer in control of his brain.

• Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen’s ex is in rehab.  Damn, there goes the Family of the Year award.

• I see where Governor Rick(I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do) Perry has declared Texas a disaster area because of all the wild fires.  It’s about time as these fires have really been destructive.  Of course there are many of us who declared Texas a disaster area the day he was elected.

• The Hoover Company is very upset that ABC is canceling the soaps “One Life To Live” and “All My Children.”  They released a press statement saying “This really sucks.”

• I haven’t received any money scam emails from Nigeria lately but I did get one from Egypt this week wanting me to invest.  I didn’t.  I’m pretty sure it was a pyramid scheme. Also if you receive an email from Henry Winkler to invest, beware, it could be a Fonzie scheme.

• An air traffic controller has been suspended for watching a movie when he was supposed to be monitoring aircraft.  Well at least he was awake… 

• New research suggests that cursing actually does help dull our perception of pain. I have found this to be true.  I can look at a picture of  “Dubya”, former Vice-President Darth Cheney, Donald Dumbfield,  Nitwit Gingrich, Sarah Pa-lying, Rush Slimebaugh, Rick (I may be hair-brained but I have a great hair-do) Perry, John (Its my party, I’ll cry if I want to) Boehner, Glen (I can out cry John Boehner any day of the week) Beck, Donald (I may have a tiny brain but I have a gigantic ego) Trump or anybody in the Tea Party and say “What a bunch of fucking assholes” and feel better instantly.

 Stay tuned for future adventures