More Preachers and Politicans

First of all Billy (Generic Preacher) Graham’s son Franklin( Jesus Loves You, Well Not if You Are Gay) Graham praised Russian President Vladimir Putin-On-a-Show for persecuting gays in Russia and now Billy’s daughter Anne (I’m a Religious Nut Too) Graham Lotz has said that she thinks the missing Malaysian airplane may be part of the  Apocalypse.  I guess Heaven’s immigration is getting out of hand and can only take a plane load of folks at a time.

You know how the Republicans are big on family values; well one of their candidates running for Governor of California is a registered sex offender.  He told the L.A. Times that after he was arrested for picking up under aged prostitutes and was in jail, he found the Lord.   He didn’t say what the Lord was in for.

Another one of those family value Republican bonehead’s, Louisiana Senaterrible David (Who Says You Can’t Buy Love) Vitter, who was busted last year for soliciting prostitutes, told his colleagues last week how patriotic the Koch brothers are.  He said they loved America so much that they were willing to buy every seat in Congress, no matter how much it cost.

Florida Republican Governor Rick (I Thought I Was Elected King) Scott has been accused of campaign violations that could cost him as much as $82 million dollars. The one term Governor has already acquired a reputation of one of the worst Governors in the country.  Wow, it took Rick (All Hair,No Integrity) Perry a couple of terms to get that reputation.  

Jordan (I Am A Certified Crook) Belfort, the original “Wolf of Wall Street” who went to prison for scamming Wall Street investors out of millions of dollars, is selling a seminar on ethical persuasion.  He says it teaches you how to sell things without lying. This bonehead still owes victims nearly $100 million dollars in restitution.  I am pretty sure the Republicans have found their nominee for President in 2016. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Species: KochRoaches

If you were wondering why the Kochsuckers in Washington have been pushing so hard for the Keystone pipeline?  A new report shows that the Koch Brothers stand to make around 100 million dollars from it.


As I have said before the Tea Party bonehead members of Congress are now referred to in my brain as Kochsuckers because the whole idea for the tea party and support has been funded by the Koch Brothers.  So all those Tea Party morons are beholding to the Koch Brothers, as in be holding the Koch Brothers money in their bank accounts. The Koch Brothers spent a little over 2 million lobbying the Kochsuckers to shut down the government which the Kochsuckers did with glee and then scurried back into the dark.

So their leader, former ambulance chaser, Teddy (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz will now be known as the Head Kochsucker, no pun intended.  Now the people who vote and support these Kochsuckers are known as Kochroaches.

HeadKochsucker Cruz was pheasant hunting in Iowa this week end with Congressmoron Steve (Minor Kochsucker) King.  Little Teddy kept his reputation in tact by continuing to shoot him self in the foot all day.  Teddy was back in Iowa to sew a few for seeds for 2016.  I understand he already has a motto and it seems to be aimed at the Taliban voter.  It’s “Death to America’s Government”

Castro supporter Rafel ( Rhymes With Fidel) Cruz, father of the aforementioned Teddy (Head Kochsucker) Cruz might be even wackier than his son. Rafel believes his son was anointed by God to be a King.  Dear Rafel and family, there are 44 countries in the world that still have monarchs. America is not one of them.  I believe it would be best for everyone if the Cruz family would move their sorry asses to one of those countries. Thank you and have a nice day.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Halloweenies

There is a haunted house that has opened in Jacksonville, Texas that has a Christian theme.  I understand it is loaded with some really creepy scary people like Pat Robertson, Jerry Farwell, Rick Warren, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye, Robert Tilton and of course their old favorite The Holy Ghost.

Here are the hottest Halloween costumes for 2013.  If you really want something creepy to scare the hell out of your neighborhood try The Ted Cruz or The Sarah Palin.  If you are going for laughs and want a cartoon figure, you need The Rick Perry.  Maybe the goofy buffoon is your cup of tea, The John Boehner should do. If you are into zombies, it’s The Tea Party or monsters then The Koch Brothers will do nicely. If jailbird or convict is your thing, The Lindsay Lohan is perfect. If you are into the creepy guy from Nightmare on Elm Street then you want The John McCain. And for the sexy trick or treater, The Miley Cyrus. It comes with a crane and a wrecking ball.

 The University of California policeman who stirred public outrage by pepper-spraying peaceful student protesters has been awarded $38,000 in worker's compensation for psychiatric damage he claimed to have suffered from the 2011 incident.  Seems to me the psychiatric damage should have been compensation enough.




 Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Name Game

 It has been documented how the Koch Brothers dreamed up the idea and funded what is now known as the Tea Party.  You don’t have to believe me, just do a little research and you will see what I am talking about. 

The Koch brothers are obsessed with demolishing the government as we know it.  They would like to get rid of Social Security, Medicare and other welfare programs and privatize every other agency, i.e., the U.S. Post Office. etc. The small fragment of the Republican Party that refer to themselves as Tea Partiers will now be known as KOCHSUCKERS.


 
So from now on, Sleepstilnoon will no longer refer to the Tea Party, T-Baggers or T-Boneheads.  They are all plain ole narrow-minded, mean-spirited, paranoid Republicans.  You will notice that there is only an R in parentheses after their name. Not a T.   I don’t care if they call themselves a moderate Republican and bad mouth the T Partiers, they are standing there doing absolutely nothing to fix things.  They got in bed with these assholes just like they did with the Religious Right and now they get to go down with them. 

Here is one for ya.  It seems Glen (I’m Such A Wacko Even Fox News Fired Me) Beck told Looney Louie (Single Digit I.Q.) Gohmert that God had told him that Louie should run for the Senate.  Why God told Glen this instead of telling Louie himself is worth pondering.  It was probably because Louie was tied up on a conference call with Ted (I Make Lance Armstrong Look Like George Washington) Cruz and Sarah (Half-Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin discussing what stupid remark they could make next to stay in the news cycle.

I have noticed that some Texan fans are proving to be real jerks.  It seems some of them are so pissed that their mediocre quarterback is playing like a mediocre quarterback that they decided to go over to his home and complain to him personally.  I wonder how they would like it if he came to their house and complained about how they were doing their job? Oh wait, these assholes don’t have jobs.  They aren’t competent enough to have a job. 





Stay tuned for future adventures.