Hump Day

I watched the debate last night and once again felt like Senator Warren came out on top, but I have to admit the best line of the night came when Mayor Pete accused the Republicans of supporting naked racism in the White House.

Florida Congressmoron and Trump lacky Matt (I Just Don’t Get It) Gaetz started his day out Tuesday by tweeting that Congressman Elijah (I Walk The Walk) Cummings who is head of the House Oversight Committe was in Italy with Loudest Mouth In The House Pelosi instead of doing his job. Of course, Elijah was not with Pelosi but on the job. Just another lying useless Republican on the taxpayer dollar.

Texas Senator Ted (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is pushing for more tax cuts for the super-rich. Trickle Down Ted wants to index capital gains to inflation. Now since I don’t have millions of dollars in the bank, I don’t have a clue to what that means, but according to financial experts who do say 86% of the benefit of indexing capital gains to inflation would go to the top 1%.

Donald (KKK) Trump said yesterday “I’m the least racist person there is anywhere in the world.” I’m not sure if that is in the Guinness Book of Records or not

Yeah, this guy.

Miss Michigan 2019 Kathy (I Can’t Pronounce My Last Name Either) Zhu who was stripped of her title after she tweeted insensitive and offensive tweets about blacks has a new gig. She is the new member of “Women for Trump Coalition Advisory Board”.  She said she was very excited and looking forward to being grabbed.

Republican Majority Leader Moscow Mitch (Ruskie) McConnell went on the Senate floor this week and whined about everybody calling him an un-American Russian asset. He said those mean people even called him Moscow Mitch.

 Mitch didn’t bring up the fact that after he helped roll back sanctions against Russia, Russia announce spending $200 million dollars in a Kentucky Aluminum mill. Or that he had blocked two security bills against foreign countries interfering in our elections.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, Monday

Kentucky Republican Senator Mitch (Ruskie) McConnell justified his new nick name “Moscow Mitch” by blocking lawmakers from taking action to prevent foreign interference in the 2020 elections. I wonder how many Rubles have found their way into his bank account?

Kentucky’s Libertarian Senator Rand (The Grinch) Paul wants to buy a ticket for Congresswoman IIhan (I Scare The Shit Out Of Trump) Omar to go back and visit Somalia. He said “Maybe after she visited Somalia for a while, she might come back and appreciate America more.” This is from the ASSHOLE who voted against the First Responders bill.

Not to be out done, Texas Republican Senator John (I’ll Lie To Get Your Vote) Cornyn tweeted this little gem. “Again and again, Democrats have refused to join Republicans in guaranteeing coverage for pre-existing conditions.” The fact is that every single Senate Democrat voted for these protections for people with preexisting conditions and every single Republican has opposed those protections. John's nose is growing as we speak.

Another one of those “very fine Nazi’s” as Donald (Little DICK- Tator) Trump put it, shot 15 people, killing 3 including a six-year-old at a festival in California. Of course he used a AK-47 style rifle. I wonder how many people must be killed to change the gun culture in this country. Right now, we are averaging 36,000 a year dying by guns. That works out to about 100 a day. And before someone brings up the old worn out response of how many people die in car wrecks every year, cars were invented to get us from point A to point B. Guns were invented to kill people. 

Texas Congressmoron John (Ratso) Ratcliffe has been nominated by Trump to be the new Director of National Intelligence. First of all putting intelligence and Trump in the same sentence is weird. Secondly this bonehead is just another Trump lackey. He used last week’s Muller hearing to audition for the gig by spouting a load of misinformation about the special counsel.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politicians, Preachers and Pimps

The usual disclaimer. There are no stories here about pimps.

I am pretty sure the fine folks who work at Dictionary.com and send a word of the day have been influenced by the Bonehead who sits in the Oval Office. Here are the last three that I have received.

Abusage

[uh-byoo-sij]

Improper use of words; unidiomatic or ungrammatical language

Peccable

[pek-uh-buh]

Liable to sin or error

Federalese

[fed-er-uh-lees]

Awkward evasive or pretentious prose said to characterize the publications and correspondence of U.S. federal bureaus.

Venal 
[veen]

Open to bribery; 

Not too long ago I wrote that research had found two types of Trump Supporters cult members, Stupid and Real Stupid.  And now latest research has found that there are four types of Trump cult members.

1.    Stupid

2.    Real Stupid

3.    Racist

4.    Real Stupid Racist

Republicans say they have come up the perfect person to challenge Minnesota Congresswoman IIhan (I Scare The Shit Out Of Trump)  Omar who they think has broken the law by telling immigrants how to avoid ICE. ICE of course stands for Idiots Committing Enslavement .

 They claim Danielle (Pure As The Driven Snow) Stella is super knowledgeable about the law. After looking at her rap sheet I agree that she is very, very knowledgeable about the law. Devious Danielle has been arrested a number of times and received a Contempt of Court citation for failing to appear in court in April.

Charles (I Believe In The Laying On Of Hands) Andrews minister at the Osprey Church of Christ has been arrested on 500 counts of child pornography possession. Detectives said that at least 50 depicted sexual abuse of a child.

Arthur (I Like Them Young) Ivey is a preacher at the Friendship Primitive Baptist Church in Gadsden, Florida. He was arrested and charged with two counts of lewd and lascivious behavior on a minor.

Stephen (Love Is Relative) Bratton a former pastor at a Southern Baptist church outside of Houston,Tx was arrested and charged with molesting a teenage relative multiple times a day over the course of two years. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

I watched the Mueller hearings and did not hear one Republican dispute a single despicable thing that Trump said or did according to the report. All the Republicans could do was talk about things that were not in the report. 

The showboating by Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert and Ohio Congressmoron Jim (All Mouth And No Brains) Jordon was laughable. I think it is time for Jordon to put on his coat and go home. You could add the I.Q.s of these two boneheads together and wouldn’t get to room temperature.

If you watched and were expecting Muller to do an Atticus Finch impersonation and deliver an Oscar winning oration, then you were probably disappointed. I thought he did a very creditable job and got the important things out that the public needed to know. The Report did NOT exonerate Trump. The bottom line is the report shows that Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump is the most corrupt, incompetent President in history.

Trump told everyone he thought the hearing was great.  It turns out that Trumpypoo had actually been watching a rerun of Judge Judy.

Iowa Republican Senator Joni (I’m Not Very) Ernst after visiting the kids in cages at the border compared it to having too many people show up at Thanksgiving dinner. Looks like Joni’s empathy bypass was successful.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

News Of The Day

Here is some good news. Former Texas State Senator Wendy (Pink Shoes) Davis is challenging Congressmoron Chip (Ship Ahoy) Roy for his seat in the 21^st District. 

The most notable thing little Chippypoo has done in Congress is trying to grab the title of The Dumbest Man in Congress from Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert.

More good news. Gretna, Louisiana police officer Charlie (Punish And Suppress) Rispoli and another officer Angelo (I‘m With Him) Varisco  got fired for posting on Facebook that “AOC is a vile idiot who needs a round.” I have the most respect for the law, but damn little anymore for the cops.

Then there is this news. Supposedly Donald (My Daddy Is The Littlest DICK-Tator, I’m Just a Dick) Trump Jr. has a book coming out in November. I believe the title is TRIGGERED. I’m not sure if it is about Roy Roger’s horse or not. When asked if he used a ghost writer, Jr said, “No, he was a real person.”

Stay tuned for future adventures.

It's All About Trump

The first moon landing was fifty years ago today.  I understand their luggage arrived two days later. President Donald (KKK) Trump said he was a big history buff and one of the great moments in history was Lance Armstrong being the first person to ride a bicycle on the moon.

Trumpypoo is already walking back his words about being disappointed in the people at his rally chanting “Send her back.” He said he was just disappointed they didn’t chant longer. He already told them that he had all night.

The Republican Caucasian Party has been moving to an all-white party for some time. Back in 2012 Trump lap dog Lindsey (I Can Lick My Balls) Graham said this, “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.” I think it is time to send Lindsey to the pound.

Trump is appointing Monica (Copycat) Crowley to be assistant secretary to the Treasury. Monica got caught with more than 50 instances of plagiarism in her last book, so don’t be surprised when counterfeit money starts showing up in circulation.

This could be my favorite. When Trump had human rights activist and Nobel Prize winner Nadia Murad in his office, she told him that she was raped and imprisoned by ISIS and her entire family was murdered. He asked where are they now?  Obviously his attention span is about as long as his dick.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

T.G.I.F Or Damn, What a Week

Louisiana Republican Senator John (Not Quite Right) Kennedy called the four Congresswomen known as “The Squad” the “Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.” Little Johnny needs to go back to the Bible study class he came from. The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” brought righteous justice, not hell.  Just another faux-Christian with his head up his ass and his foot in his mouth.

And here is another one: Alabama’s Secretary of State John (Homophobic and Proud of It) Merrill.  Judgmental John said that “People are too interested in homosexual activities” because there is not any good television shows anymore like The Virginian, Bonanza and I Love Lucy. Poor John then picked up his club and went back to his cave.

The Republican Party no longer exists. There are only Trumplicans and The Caucasian Party.

Once again Trump made the statement “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” Look again at that statement. He said A bone. The truth is all of his bones are racist.

Trump’s buddy Jeffery (Jailbird) Epstein was denied bail and will stay in jail until his trial. His defense team said they will explore all options and appeals. I’m not sure where his options include the old hacksaw in a cake or a cyanide pill. 

The rumor mill is running wild that Mr. Epstein’s jail cell could become overcrowded with some well-known prominent cell mates. I’ll go to sleep tonight with visions of Trumpypoo in an orange jumpsuit.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

WARNING: Stupidity Epidemic

I always thought that Donald (KKK) Trump wanted to be King of America, but I was wrong.

Republican Senator Rand (Scrooge) Paul blocked the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund from being fast tracked. Parsimonious Paul says it’s too much money. He said, “We’re adding debt at about a trillion dollars a year.” He seemed to have completely forgotten that the reason we are adding that much debt is because of the giant tax bill that he and the Republicans so joyously passed last year. He also seems to have forgotten his oath as a doctor of “do no harm.”

Elsa (I’ve Had It) Alcala, a former Texas Court of Criminal Appeals judge who was appointed by Gov. Rick Perry in 2011, has decided to leave the Republican Party. Here is her letter to the GOP

“It has taken me years to say this publicly but here I go. President Trump is the worst president in the history of this country. Even accepting that Trump has had some successes (and I believe these are few), at his core, his ideology is racism. To me, nothing positive about him could absolve him of his rotten core.”

Wouldn’t it be nice to see more of this stuff.

Republican Congressmoron Mike (White But Not Too Bright) Kelly said this week that he’s “a person of color, I’m white.”  Of course, white is the absence of color. I would say that Mikey is also absence of any brain cells.

Stay tuned for future adventures.