Rare Saturday Edition

The United States has far more mass shootings than any other country in world.  The TeaNut Republicans want to blame this on mental illness.  The real deal is they want to blame anything other than guns. The problem with that statement is that other countries also have mental illness problems, but they don’t have the same problem with mass shootings. Of course the simple answer is that they don’t have the availability of guns like we do.  

The reason we need to talk about guns and our warped culture about guns is that the key word here is SHOOTINGS, not mass stabbings, mass bombings, mass poisonings or mass being bludgeoned in the head with a heavy object.  

I realize that the United States is a very young country compared to the rest of the world, but don’t you think it is time we grew up and quit playing with guns.

It appears that Douglas County Sheriff, John (Shoot First, Ask Questions Later) Hanlin who is handling the mass shootings in Oregon this past week is a certified gun nut.  He posted a video on his Facebook page after the Sandy Hook school shootings that said the shooting was a hoax.  The real hoax is this asshole being called someone who cares about his fellow citizens. I am pretty sure he believes guns make you safer.  .   

I have no idea who wrote this.  I found it on Facebook, but I felt it deserved to be passed along.

 "Or, hey, how about we treat every young man who wants to buy a gun like every woman who wants to get an abortion -- mandatory 48-hr waiting period, parental permission, a note from his doctor proving he understands what he's about to do, a video he has to watch about the effects of gun violence, an ultrasound wand up the ass (just because). Let's close down all but one gun shop in every state and make him travel hundreds of miles, take time off work, and stay overnight in a strange town to get a gun. Make him walk through a gauntlet of people holding photos of loved ones who were shot to death, people who call him a murderer and beg him not to buy a gun. It makes more sense to do this with young men and guns than with women and health care, right? I mean, no woman getting an abortion has killed a room full of people in seconds, right?"

And this tweet:

 
It seems I was a little bit hasty in jumping on Pope Frankie the Sissy for meeting with Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis.  He didn’t meet with her privately. Little Kimmy and her low-life, lying piece-of-shit lawyer Mathew ( Look Up Shyster In The Dictionary And You Will Find My Picture ) Staver made up the story.  Probably what happened is that these two assholes were eating at Burger King when they saw the creepy Burger King mascot and thought he was the Pope.  




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some of This, Some of That

Boneheads of the week.

Wisconsin TeaNut Republican Congressmoron Glen (I May Be Dumber Than Louie Gohmert) Grothman made this incredibly stupid statement this week in discussing why Congress should defund Planned Parenthood.   “As a guy, I could go to many clinics locally that have all the machines that one would need,”  Glennie pooh has never been married and obviously has an I.Q. to match his age of 60.  Glen begs the question, “how do these assholes get elected.”

Congressmoron Kevin (Open Mouth, Insert Foot) McCarthy went on the TV this week and inadvertently admitted that the whole Benghazi investigation was simply a political ploy to do damage to Hillary.  Little Kevin wants to be the new Speaker of the House, but I think now he will known as the Blabber Mouth of the House.  He is obviously kin to Joe (If My Lips Are Moving, I’m Lying) McCarthy, the king of 3D politics: Deceitful, Disingenuous, Duplicity.   

  

The media seems to have an obsession with polls and I think it is because they are lazy.  Polls are easy money, the media doesn’t have to do anything but reprint or rebroadcast something that someone else has done the work.  The problem is that not only are polls miss-leading, but they are simply speculation at best.  Also polls can be skewed to what ever result you would like by the questions they ask.

The one that really bugs me is the poll’s that say the country is going in the wrong direction. What the hell does that mean anyway?   In the first place there is any number of directions the country could be going in and this poll tells us nothing.  Exactly what direction would these people like the country to go in? Telling us it’s going in the wrong direction doesn’t give any answer or solution.

The country is actually always going forward because time is going forward.  As much as some people always want to talk about the good ole days, nothing goes backward. The religious wackos never want anything to go forward because that is progress.  For many years in early history the only people who could read were the priest and church leaders.  They didn’t want the minions out there being able to read because they might learn something and figure out they had been handed a line of bullshit.

The next time you hear some asshole TeaNut Republican say we want to take back the country, ask him how far back he wants to go?  The only people who have the right to talk about taking back the country are Native Americans.  Everybody else can STFU.

I don’t think much of the Catholic Church.  In fact I think they are more of a cult than church, but I have sorta liked Pope Frankie the Sissy because he has actually gone against some of their out dated thinking.  That is until I read where he met with Kim.  (Homophobic Hick) Davis.  He has been excommunicated from any positive thoughts I had about him.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday's Soap Box

It is apparent that all TeaNut religious wacko Republicans take the Hypocrite oath. That is “Always say one thing and do another.”   Look at all of the bonehead politicians who ranted and whined about the Pope talking about climate change, but it is okay for them to bring religion into everything they talk about.

They talk about how we must save those poor little defenseless fetuses, but cut food stamps for actual children who don’t have enough to eat. They rave on about the importance of traditional marriage and then get divorced 4 or 5 times and have affairs. They love the Constitution right up until it doesn’t give them an excuse to be a racist or bigot and then they want to change it.  They love the Bible until the same thing happens.   

They all claim to be Pro-Life, but love the death penalty and are for war.  They are all for the rule of law until they don’t like the law. Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis and Cliven (Deadbeat) Bundy are their poster kids on this one.  They don’t believe in climate change, but believe the earth is less than ten thousand years old. 

One of their main mantras is what a terrible President Obama has been.  Let’s take a look at that.

Of course they know better than to bring up George Warmonger Bush, well most of them, evidently Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush didn’t get that memo, so they go to their patron saint Ronald (Bad Actor, Worse President) Reagan.  Let’s see how little Ronnie holds up.

Too bad they didn’t listen to this guy. .

By the way, I understand the video clip that snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Business Into The Ground) Fiorina was talking about during the last Republican debacle was actually a clip from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

If It's Not One Hump, It's Another

I see where the Oaf Creepers, a quasi military group made up of old overweight boneheads who think they are in the Really Special Forces, are not coming to protect Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis after all.  I understand the leader’s mom wouldn’t let them borrow her van for the trip.

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blowhard Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee went on the TV this past week and wanted to know if the Syrian refugees were coming to America just for cable television.  I am stunned at this. You mean to tell me Syria doesn’t have cable TV.

The second Republican debate debacle will be on the TV tonight.  I believe it’s on the wrestling channel. There should be a lot of fighting outside the ring with people hitting each of other over the head with folding chairs and lots of body slams. I understand Trumpy Pooh is going to wear a Richard Nixon mask so nobody will know him and of course Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson will be wearing his surgical mask.

Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground) Fiorina has moved up from the kids table to participate in the shenanigans.  After The Don’s “look at her face” remark, she said she will be wearing a bag over her head.  

Former Florida Governor Jeb (At Least I'm Not Neil) Bush will be dressed as a pinata. 

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don't Have A Clue) Cruz, Rick (I Need To Be In A) Santorum and Scott (I Need A) Walker are coming as the Three Stooges. In other words they will be dressed as usual.

 

Former Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry won’t be making the big event fiasco tonight.  He didn’t have enough money in his campaign account for bus fare.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Bubbles From My Soap Box

Here is my prediction about Rowan County Clerk Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis.  I already see who hubby number 5 will be. It will be none other than the infamous Cliven (DeadBeat) Bundy, the Nevada rancher who owes the government one million dollars over back taxes.  Talk about a marriage made in heaven, well actually for TV.

TLC Channel has been looking for something to fill the hole in their schedule ever since The Duggars, “19 Kids and Counting” show became “14 Lucky Kids, 4 Victims and 1 Pervert”.   I do believe “Bundy & Davis: 2 Stupid People” could be a smash.  The ceremony of course will be conducted by Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee.

In a lot of places being a member of the country club shows a lot of prestige. 

Not so much so in Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert’s district.  Looney Louie said this week if the Iran deal goes through, he is leaving Congress. Now if he would just leave Texas it would be a Win Win Win. 

I’m guessing this is where the kids around here go to do a little smooching.

If any of you ladies out there have been seeing the ads for Farmers.com and have been thinking about signing up, you might want to check this out first.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

T.G.I.F These Goobers Invite Farce

Rowan County Clerk Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage license to same-sex couples and ordered to jail.  Little Kimmy is a born again Christian, but evidently didn’t get a brain this time around. 

Tom (Great Quarterback, Incredible Asshole ) Brady said he is thrilled to be starting next week against the Steelers and promised that his balls would be fully inflated just like his ego.

Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson is quietly sneaking up on Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump in the political polls, probably because he is wearing his scrubs and booties on his shoes so you can’t hear him.  I believe the main thing TeaNut Republican voters like about him is that he has even less experience in politics than Trump. The closest this bonehead ever came to politics is when he was voted “most likely to say something stupid in public” his senior year in high school.

Speaking of the polls, Trump is still polling at 23% which means that at least 23% of Republicans are racist.  Personally I think that number is a little low.

Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush hit back at Trump yesterday saying, “Am not. Oh yeah, well it takes one to know one” and “I’m going to tell my daddy.”

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blowhard Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee said this week if he were elected President King, he would abort abortions with an executive order.  Little Mikey believes the unborn have constitutional rights just like real people.

I would suggest that the huckster ought to go back and read that book where he gets all of his twisted facts and note that in Genesis it says life comes with the first breath.  A fetus doesn’t breathe you dumbass. A baby takes its first breath when it comes out of the womb.

I have noticed that only 28 states have teams in the NFL which means there are a lot of states and cities that are not being represented and therefore there a number of great team names that are not being used. Here is what I would recommend to the folks running the league.

Albuquerque Turkeys
Boise TaterTots
Omaha Brouhahas
Casper Ghosts
Eugene Queens
Ames Flames
Tulsa Muscle
Louisville Sluggers
Little Rock Rollers
Butte Buttheads
Hattiesburg Borg
Burlington Coats
Bangor Gongs

Concord Super Jets
Honolulu Hooligans
Fargo cargo
Nome Gnomes
Las Vegas Show Offs
Roanoke Slow Pokes
Wheeling Dealing

Dover Dwarfs

Mobile Phones

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrarumph Day

Hump of the week.

Kentucky County Clerk Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis has refused to issue marriage license to same sex couples wanting to get married.  She filed a law suit asking that she be allowed to not issue the license because it went against her religious beliefs.

Little Kimmy believes in the traditional marriage of one man, one woman…as many times as you want. She is working on number four and counting.   It took the Supreme Court one day to come up with a decision.  They said their belief was that she could either do her job or get another one.

I understand that Rowan County Kentucky where Kim is clerk is so conservative that the public swimming pool has this sign.

More information on the new content in the recently revised text books that were approved by the Republican led board of education that is being used in Texas schools this year. .

The fall of the Alamo was due to President Obama not securing the Texas border.

The first line of the Constitution now reads, “We the white Christians of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect church, establish our kind of justice, pander to the lowest common denominator, promote general warfare against whoever doesn’t think like us, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of Christianity.” 

During the Vietnam War, George W. Bush did uncover work for the C.I.A posing as a draft dodger.

Darth (I Really Am A Dick) Cheney has declined to endorse Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump at this time.  I understand Darth is waiting to see if The Don wants him to be his Vice-President and engineer a plan to invade Iran under false pretenses. .  

Stay tuned for future adventures.