Pondering And Musing

 

It’s times like this that I wish Jack Reacher was a real person.  We could make him Ambassador to Russia and send him over there for a face to face with Vladimir Putin.  Actually it would be a fist to the face meeting and Vladimir could take his place with all the other dead leaders of Russia.

Last week Putin said that he would attack Sweden if they were to intervene on his invading of Ukraine.  The good news is that gives Sweden time to assemble their army…. providing the instructions are clear.

Now that Mother Nature has turned Texas blue, it would sure be nice if Beto made it permanent.

I understand the Republicans are really upset with President Biden for nominating someone who is well respected and highly qualified to be a Supreme Court judge.

I wonder when Sean (All Mouth and No Brains) Hannity and Tucker (If You’re White, You’re Alright) Carlson are going to start referring to each other as “Comrade”?

Postmaster General Louis (Rain, Sleet or Snow won’t stop the mail, but I can) Dejoy has announce instead of purchasing all electric vehicles for USPS, he is purchasing gas-powered vehicles.  Why haven’t we sent this bonehead to the dead letter department?

I see where the NRA (Not Real Association), a broken and bankrupt organization, is endorsing Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott for Governor. Sounds about right.  They  both shoot nothing but blanks.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

 

Watch This

 

I was flipping through the TV channels the other day and decided to check out a few shows that I never watch.  First one was Swamp People.  They were featuring Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott and Lt. Goober Dan (Pig-Face) Patrick. 

Then I switched over to Love After Lock Up and they had on former Congressmoron Anthony (Wanna Be Penis Pals) Weiner.  Anthony had just been released from prison for sending obscene material to a minor.  He said he had learned his lesson and would only use a professional photographer from now on.

Next was Ancient Aliens and they had a documentary on people who had been caught illegally crossing the border that were over a hundred years old.

Turned on the Sundance Channel and watched for about ten minutes but no Butch Cassidy or Sundance Kid.

Caught a clip of Law and Order where they were showing two policemen holding a menu and speaking with a waitress.

I checked out Cake Wars which was dumb because there wasn't one food fight. 

And finally, The Weather Channel which kept changing constantly.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

 

Some of history’s unanswered questions.

 

·       Why did the chicken cross the road?

·       Who was behind the grassy knoll?

·       Who picked up the check at the Last Supper?

·       Where’s Waldo?

·       Who let the dogs out?

·       When will pigs fly?

·       Who put the ram in rama-lama-ding-dong?

·       Where’s the Beef?

·       What’s love got to do with it?

·       Why did the cow jump over the moon and what was the relationship between the dish and the spoon?

·       Who ate the first oyster?

·       Where did Cain and Abel’s wives come from? Were they the first mail-order brides?

·       Which came first, the chicken fried steak or egg foo young?

·       Why did the little piggie go wee wee wee all the way home?

·       What’s in your wallet?

·       Why do Psychic’s ask who you are?

·       What was George Washington’s problem with cherry trees?

·       Do the members of The Flat Earth Society live all over the globe?

·       How low is Trump’s I.Q. and how high is his Cholesterol?

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

Typing The Light Fantastic

 I love this picture of an old typewriter because it reminds me of one of the few smart decisions I ever made in high school.  My best buddy Tooker and I had been almost inseparable since first grade and pretty much did everything together.  We were selecting which elective classes we were going to take in high school our junior year.  I told him that we were signing up for typing class.  He said, “are you nuts?  There are only girls in that class.”  I said “EXACTLY.”  After about ten seconds he broke into a big grin and said, “We are signing up for typing class.”

Now this was the fall of 1959.  Way before the internet was a gleam in Al Gore’s eye or Mr. Appleby or Mr. Mcintosh or whoever it was that invented the home computer, or me deciding to be a writer.  When I think about that I learned to type for all the wrong reasons, now that I’m a published writer, I breath a big sigh.  If I had to depend on my handwriting for an occupation, I would have had to become a doctor.

 

All the numerologist and astrologist in the world are racking their brains to make something of today’s date.  02/22/2022.  On top of that for us old radio guys it’s two-fer-Tuesday.  I was pretty good in math, and I know for a fact that if you take out the zeros and add up the two's, they add up to be twelve. Other than that, I couldn’t care less.

Speaking of numbers, I keep seeing an ad on TV where they keep asking “What is your sleep number.”  I’m not sure what they mean but I’ve been giving it some thought. Since I don’t go to bed until midnight and I sleep till noon, I figure my number is 12.  Wow, that’s what today is…..

 

Back when I started writing Sleepstilnoon again, I said that I was doing it to try to jump start my brain so I could get back to working on my third novel.  I’m happy to say it seems to have worked as I am back in writer head and working on it daily.  This means the blog may take a back seat on the writing front and I may not put up as many post a week as I have been.  Of course, I need somewhere to put all the nutty stuff that floats thru my warped brain, so I will still be banging out the blog ever so often.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

 

 

Hear All About It

 

It seems the Dallas Cowboys paid a confidential settlement of 2.4 million dollars to four members of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders after a senior executive was accused of voyeurism in the locker room as they undressed.  The executive was Richard (Peek-a-Boo) Dairymple who was senior vice president for public relations. I understand Mr. Dairymple said it was simply a misunderstanding of his title. He thought he was senior vice president of pubic relations.

 

Pastor Greg (I Have God on Speed Dial) Locke of the Global Vision Bible Church accused some members of his congregation  cult this week of being witches and that they were on a mission to destroy the church.  I understand Grandstand Gregg ask for matches and firewood when the collection plate was passed. Of course, if they were real witches, they could have just twitched their noses and turned him into a mouse on the spot. I do believe the Global Vision boneheads are so narrow minded, they can look through a keyhole with both eyes.

Supposedly Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth”. I’m pretty sure there was a mistake in the translation from the Hebrew.  I’m beginning to believe he said, “Beware of the stupid for they shall invade the earth.”

 

Mike (My Pillows Are Soft and So Is My Head) Lindell former crack addict turned crack idiot was denied entry into Canada with his truck load of pillows for the unvaccinated truckers.  Mike said he would rent helicopters and drop the pillows on the truckers from the air. It’s always sad to see an addict relapse in public.

I understand that Tucker (I Lie for A Living) Carlson who is a big supporter of the anti-vax truckers is considering changing his name to Trucker. I can think of another letter he could change that would be more appropriate.

A judge in New York has ordered Trumpypoo, Ivanka and Don Jr. to sit for depositions. It will be interesting to see who throws who under the bus first. 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

Sometimes I Feel Like A Nut and Sometimes I don't

 

So far the only thing I have accomplished today is sleeping ‘til noon. I have been sitting here staring at a blank page and have concluded that my mind is as blank as the page.  Writing is weird for me and probably lots of other writers, as some days the words come in like old friends wanting to visit and hang out and other days I feel like a hermit.  Most days when the words are M.I.A, I go outside and find something to do, but today the wind is blowing so hard, the birds are walking.  

I have scanned FB and found nothing interesting or newsworthy and I very seldom turn the tv on until the evening.  I love to read and usually have a couple of books going at the same time, so that is my next move.  Currently I am reading The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles, an outstanding writer.  He wrote A Gentleman in Moscow and Rules of Civility, two of the best books I have read in years.  I also have River, Sing Out by James Wade going.  James’s last book All Things Left Wild is a great read.  If you haven’t read any of these books, I highly recommend them.  

 

There is also a good possibility that I am just going to take a nap.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

Happy Valentine Day

 

My sweetie said, “Be my funny valentine.” So I tickled her fancy.

Another Super Bowl is history and this one will go down as a rare one. A Good Game.  I saw Snoop Dog on the Super Bowl half time show.  He looked pretty good for someone 497 years old.

As I have said before, one of the big things in East Texas is bigotry.  One of the local TV stations has been promoting Black History month. So far, they have acknowledged Clint Black and Jack Black.

Alabama Senator Tommy (Tainted) Tuberville said last week that a proposal to ban members of Congress from trading stock would “really cut back” on the number of people “willing to serve”. I believe what he really meant was that it would cut back on people willing to serve themselves.

We are binging on the new Reacher series on Prime Video. If you are a fan of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series, you will love this. It will make you want to go slap Tom Cruise.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

T.G.I.F.

 

The big day is almost here. You can almost count down the hours and on the day, there will be some celebrating and some disappointment.  There will be good feelings and there will be hurt feelings. There will be talk of wait until next year, that things will be different.  It is a day that has been on the calendar all year and for those who missed it, they will be sorry. I’m of course talking about Valentine’s Day on Monday.

Colorado Congressmoron Lauren (Bobble Head) Boebert compared herself to Jesus in an interview this past week. She apparently got her wish; I understand she was crucified on Twitter and Facebook.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (Dumbest Man in Congress) Gohmert accused the Justice Department of reading his mail. I understand they did try to read his mind but couldn’t find anything.

I saw where former President and Wana-be DICKtator Trumpypoo would tear up important papers and reports after he read them. I’m not buying it. I don’t believe that dipshit ever read anything

It appears Congressmoron Marjorie Traitor Green has watched Senifeld’s episode of the “Soup Nazi” too many times.

QAnon (Quackrey Assholes Narrating Obscene Notions) has decided that the Walt Disney Company is a satanic cult. I think it has to do with Mickey not wearing any pants.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

MEMORIES

 

I have been seeing post on FB saying “Do you remember when” or “Remember the good old days”, so I gave it some thought and came up with a few of my memories.

 

I was raised in Texas where high school football is king. I remember getting two letters in football, one asking me to not come back and the second telling me to bring the equipment back.

I remember the first girl I dated in high school asking if I wanted to go all the way and I said, “How far is it?”

I remember the counselor in college asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said, “Taller.”

I remember when I first started working in radio, I got into a hassle with management because they had made a mistake on my paycheck. They misspelled chicken feed.

I remember at another radio station the general manager telling me that since I had been on the air, more radios had sold than ever before. I said, “Really?” and he said, yeah, he had even sold his.

I remember when I went to work for Atlantic records they said I had to take a drug test. I asked, oral or  written.

I remember being kicked out of my first apartment complex. I said everybody pees in the pool and they said not from the diving board.

I remember when Diana first said that I should start blogging and I said no way. I don’t like the music and I hate those shoes.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

Some of This And More of That

 

I tried to watch some of the Winter Olympics in Beijing but there was so much snow on the screen I gave up.  Come to find out, my cable had gone out.

The Super Bowl will be this Sunday. Even though the game is supposed to be between the two best teams in football, it seldom is very good, but after a week of mind-numbing interviews with every coach, every player and everyone who ever watched all the previous Super Bowls, the game will seem exciting. I understand early in the year the NFL was considering changing the name to National Tom Brady Day, but that is off the table. Tom’s appearance in the Super Bowl this year will be section 10, seat 12.

NASCAR held it’s first race ever in the Los Angeles Coliseum.  There were lots of wrecks and damaged cars, but that was the fans trying to make it through the LA traffic to get to the event.  The race was mostly clean.

Texas seems to have made it through the winter freeze ok.  I am surprised we didn’t get any long speeches from Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott, Lt. Governor Goober Dan (Pig-Face) Patrick or Senator Ted (I Haven’t Got a Clue) Cruz.  All that hot air would have helped.

We have been added to a hit list and now receive about 30 annoying, enraging, time consuming, aggravating robo calls a day, so I have decided to change the message on our answering machine.  “We are not here right now and if you are a robo caller, we will never ever be here. If you are someone trying to sell me something, please leave your home phone number and I will call you back around supper time. If you are that nice man from India calling about my car warranty, I drive a 1948 Hudson. If you are the person who continues to try to sell me medical supplies, you can’t fix what ails me.  If you called our number by mistake, please try not to make the same mistake again and if you are really a friend, where have you been? You never call or write. Was it something I said?”  I now believe AT&T stands for All Tacky Talk.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

A Geography Lesson

 

I have noticed people referring to the place where I live as deep East Texas.  I guarantee there is absolutely nothing deep about East Texas.  I’ll admit it is knee deep in racism, conspiracy theories and low I.Q. politicians like Congressmoron Louie Gohmert, but that is certainly nothing to brag about.

 

I have been trying to figure out if Republican voters in Georgia are slow-witted, dull, stupid, obtuse, ignorant, bemused, absurd or simply uninformed.  After I read that they still think Hershel (I’ve Been Hit in in the Head Way Too Many Times) Walker is a viable candidate for Senator, I have decided that they’re just assholes.

 

In Florida, over five thousand residents have complained that when they received their voter registration cards in the mail, they discovered they had been illegally changed from Democrat to Republican voters. I think this is all part of the Republican Party’s new motto, “If you can’t beat em, cheat em.”

 

In Llano, Texas the Llano County commissioners have decided to remove the library online service Overdrive. Sounds to me like the Llano County commissioners need to be removed.

 

In McMinn County, Tennessee they had a good old fashioned book burning event. It was organized by Mt. Juliet pastor Greg (I Have God on Speed Dial) Locke. Besides being an “Arsonist for Jesus”, Greg is a big pro-Trump conspiracy theorist.   

 

In Washington D.C. the Republican National Committee said that January 6^th, 2021 was just “ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse.”  That’s like saying on December 7^th, 1941, Ordinary Japanese pilots were performing a legitimate air show over Pearl Harbor.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures