That Time Again

Time for another road trip and some lake time.  Bus is loaded and gassed and so are we. Might talk to ya next week….might not, but have a good week.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump says he is not going to show up for tonight’s Republican debate debacle because that mean ole Megyn (Faux News Bimbo) Kelly might ask him some questions he doesn’t like.  Looks like little Donnie’s wimpy, scared-of-the-dark, cry-baby, spoiled inner child has shown up.

Former Loud-Mouth-of-the-House, Tom (Hot Tub) DeLay is saying that friends of his in the F.B.I. are telling him that they are about to indict Hillary Clinton.  He said that J.Edgar called him personally and gave him the scoop.  Since it’s a fact that Tom has no friends, we know this is all bullshit.    

 

The Bundy Bunch is now in jail minus one.  Robert (Just Call Me Stupid) LaVoy Finicum is in the morgue.   Their leader Amoron Bundy said Robert died doing what he loved…being stupid.  He went on to say that he was one of the stupidest people he knew and would miss him.  Robert’s neighbors commented that when it came to stupid, Robert was the best.  I understand his favorite song was “Something Stupid.”

The Bundy leader also said he wasn’t worried about their legal status because he was sure that their lawyer Johnny (Legal Counsel For Jesus) Cochran would get them acquitted.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Muttering And Musing

Texas Lt. Governor Dan (I Am A Total Asshole) Patrick decided that those mean ole folks at Planned Parenthood should be looked into so he convinced the District Attorney in Houston to investigate them.  Well they did find wrong doing and two people got indicted.  Problem is, it was the two boneheads who made the fraudulent videos accusing Planned Parenthood of selling baby parts.  Karma strikes the GOP again.

Here is the early report on Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz being eligible to run for President.  Authorities have found that little Teddy’s dad is a Cuban, his mother is American and he is an idiot.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump told everyone that even if he shot someone in public, he wouldn’t lose a single vote.   Well yeah, his supporters love shooting people.  That’s why they all have guns and no brains. 

The Don’s supporters don’t wear t-shirts that say “I’m with stupid,” their’s say, “I Am Stupid.”

Then there was the couple who had an unplanned daughter after 40 years of marriage.  I understand they named her Cialis.

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Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wrapping Up The Week

Talk about omens. First Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump gets endorsed by Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin and then the next day gets endorsed by a dead guy….John Wayne.  I’m not sure how this happened, I’m guessing that they had a séance and ole John gave em the high sign from the other side.

When John (Civil War Veteran) McCain heard about little Sarah’s blabbering endorsement, he called Trump and offered his condolences and said unfortunately there was no antidote.  

And yesterday Willie (If It Walks Like A Duck, Talks Like A Duck, It’s Probably A) Robertson quacked out his endorsement for The Don.  This should cause quite a stir in the duck blind this week as Daddy Phil (Duck Dick Head) Robertson endorsed Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz last week.  Wow, quite a week for little Donnie with endorsements from two dead-in-the-head people and one dead guy. 
  

And then there was this.  The National Review, the country’s most conservative magazine came out and ripped Ole Donald to shreds this week. The irony of all of this is that Trump is the sole creation of the Right-Wing Republican Party and now that he is alive and well, they don’t know what to do with their monster.  In order to get their unqualified people elected these many years, they have happily climbed into bed with the Dixie-Crats, religious-right wackos and narrow-minded boneheads and the results are the sorry mess they are in today.

Boy that Karma can sure kick you in the elephant's ass sometimes.






Stay tuned for future adventures.

Thursday's Tibits

Palin Gives Trump A Blow-Job. 

Actually Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin simply endorsed Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump to be President, but I liked that headline better. Little Sarah was a no-show the next day on The Don’s campaign tour as she had to go bail her son out of jail for drunken domestic abuse with a gun.  Sarah says her son suffers from PTSD.  In this case PTSD stands for Palin’s Tacky Son’s Debachery.

Speaking of the Don, how many Corinthians does it take to prove that Trump has never read the Bible?…..TWO.  Little Donnie in giving a speech at Liberty University this week, referred to a passage in 2^nd Corinthians as two Corinthians. He said he got confused because he intended to tell his favorite joke about the two Corinthians, three Episcopalians and a Jew who walked into a bar.

When the University was asked what they thought of Dim-Wit Don’s faux pas, the spokesman referred to scripture.  I believe it is in Ignoramous 4:23 where Jesus said, “if thou can’t sayeth something nice, thou should shut the fuck up.”

On a personal note, you may have noticed that in an earlier post I incorrectly said that the Iowa Caucus was being held this week.  That was totally wrong.  I still can’t believe that my editor, assistant editor, secretary, field reporters, large research staff, chauffeur and personal valet didn’t catch the mistake.  I swear sometimes it feels like I am in here doing this all by myself.  By the way, if you look for the mistake, I’ve already changed it.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Thougts For A Tuesday

We certainly live in interesting times.  Hillary (I’m Kryptonite To Republicans) Clinton is trying to become the first woman President of the United States and Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is trying to be the first Canadian to be President of the United States.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump of course would not become the first buffoon to be President, as we have elected a number of those in the past, but would certainly qualify as the biggest. 

Speaking of first, the Iowa Caucus is coming up. The Iowa Caucus is most famous for picking losers.  Only five winners of the Iowa Caucus has ever gone on to be the nominee since 1972.  What a great claim to fame, but then when you’re Iowa, you don’t have much to brag about.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Somethings That Went Through My Mind And Came Out My Computer

A few things that happen during last night’s Republican Debate debacle.  

Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz played the “Chicken Little” card and ran around the stage yelling, “They’re going to take away our guns, they’re going to take away our guns.” 

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump told Cruz to shut up and go back home to Canada where he belongs.  When Rafael said that he was a natural born citizen, Donnie said there was nothing natural about him. The Don also said after listening to Cruz, he was thinking about building a wall between the U.S. and Canada.

The stupidest quote of the night came from New Jersey Governor Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie when he said that President Obama was going to get blown out of office in November.  Evidently Cissy Poo thinks Obama is running for a third term.

Former preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blow-hard, Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee said that we should treat poor people the same way we train dogs.  I’m sure he found that in The Bible somewhere. Probably in Ignoramus 3:16 where it says," take care of the poor until they shit in the floor."  

Senaterrible Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham came out today and endorsed Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush for President.  Lindsay also said he thought the Houston Texans would win the Super Bowl. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Tell It Like It Is

President Obama’s State of the Union Address 2016.

My fellow Americans, since taking office seven years ago, gasoline prices are under $2.00’s, unemployment is at it’s lowest point in 6 years, over 18 million more people now have health insurance and we have reduced the national debt by a trillion dollars.   I have started no wars and have executed 68 less executive orders than my predecessor.  So to the Republicans who have said NO and fought tooth and nail against everything I have tried to do and who have NOT offered one single solution or alternative plan to anything, I would like to say FUCK YOU and you all can line up at the door and kiss my black ass goodbye.

 DISCLAIMER: This was written prior to the President’s speech and I am

pretty sure the President didn’t say this last night, but I truly believe this was what was in his heart.     

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flakes of Friday

It seems the Armed Militia (Boys Playing With Guns) who are occupying the Malhuer National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon have turned to fighting among themselves since the F.B.I is not cooperating by not starting a gunfight with them.  Joe “Capitan O” O’Shaugnessy, I’m not sure if the O stands for obnoxious or occupant, anyway he snuck off with money donated to them and got drunk. Another was kicked out because he had lied about being in the military and few got into fistfights.  Sounds like things are going swell in the Wildlife to me

The TeaNut Republicans are proving to be the complete assholes that they are.

Let’s look at some other executive orders since the TeaNuts are so upset with Obama.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Year, Same Ole Humps

The gun-nut wacko TeaNut Republicans are having hissy-fits over President Obama’s executive decision on gun sellers. Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz immediately pulled out the lame and ridiculous “Obamas is going to take your guns”

 and Texas Congressmoron John (I’m Almost As Dumb As Louie Gohmert) Culbertson wants to defund the Justice Department over it. John also wants to visit the Wizard of Oz to see he will give him a brain.

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott was so upset he sent this tweet to the President.

Obama wants to impose more gun control. My response.#? COME & TAKE It.@NRA#tcot#PJNET

My response to Greggy Poo is How about we just come and take your chair away you dumbass…..

Amoron Bundy,the leader of the boneheads occupying the National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon carried  a copy of the Constitution in his pocket during his last press conference. Evidently he was looking for someone to read it to him. Ole Amoron said He and his followers want the refuge and millions of federally owned acres in the West transferred back to “the people,” I’m sure there a number of Native Americans that would be all for that, but I don’t believe that’s what he meant.

Amoron is youngest of the Bundy bunch and said he didn’t set out to be a leader.  He went on to say he always wanted to emulate his older brother Ted and become a serial killer, but didn’t have the brains for it.I don't think it will be very long and we will find out just how tough these boys are.  I understand their mommies forgot to pack them socks and snacks.

I have noticed a number of police departments around the country have changed their motto from To Protect and Serve, to Punish and Shoot.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Brand New Year, Same Ole Stuff

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said something racist, Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush said something stupid and Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz told everyone that Jesus would be his running mate.

Texas Lt. Governor Dan (I Use To Be A Sports Nut, Now I’m A Religious Nut Who Loves Guns) Patrick crawled out of from under his rock and pulled his head out of Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott’s ass long enough to go on TV and prove what a lying piece of shit he really is.  Little Danny said,  Everywhere that we have more citizens carrying guns, crime is less.”  This of course is a big fat lie.   

Is it interesting that the media is referring to the boneheads who have occupied the Federal building in Oregon as “an armed militia” instead of calling them terrorist?  At least that could call them what they really are,  Treasonous ASSHOLES.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Day One

What we learned in 2015.

• Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is just a rich David (KKK) Duke.

• Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush is NOT the smarter one.

• The Christian Right is mostly wrong.

• Minorities are now the majority.

• Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott is not a stand up guy.

• Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert really is as dumb as he looks.

• Ken (I Fought The Law And The Law Won) Paxton was elected to be the Attorney General of Texas and turned out to be the Attorney Criminal of Texas.

• Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz is the creepiest politician since Richard (I’m Really A Dick) Nixon.

• Dr. Ben ( I Can’t Keep My Eyes Open) Carson has a dual personality. Brain-Surgeon/Moron.

• Dr. Huxtable is a rapist.

• The Confederate Flag controversy proved that when southerners said “the south will rise again,’ they weren’t talking about I.Q. levels.

• Same Sex Marriage is highly upsetting to a lot of Same-ole-sex marriages.

Stay tuned for future adventures.