Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump says he is not going to show
up for tonight’s Republican debate debacle because that mean ole Megyn (Faux
News Bimbo) Kelly might ask him some questions he doesn’t like. Looks like little Donnie’s wimpy,
scared-of-the-dark, cry-baby, spoiled inner child has shown up.
Former Loud-Mouth-of-the-House, Tom (Hot Tub) DeLay is
saying that friends of his in the F.B.I. are telling him that they are about to
indict Hillary Clinton. He said that
J.Edgar called him personally and gave him the scoop. Since it’s a fact that Tom has no friends, we
know this is all bullshit.
The Bundy Bunch is now in jail minus one. Robert (Just Call Me Stupid) LaVoy Finicum is
in the morgue. Their leader Amoron Bundy said Robert died
doing what he loved…being stupid. He
went on to say that he was one of the stupidest people he knew and would miss
him. Robert’s neighbors commented that
when it came to stupid, Robert was the best. I understand his favorite song was “Something
Stupid.”
The Bundy leader also said he wasn’t worried about their
legal status because he was sure that their lawyer Johnny (Legal Counsel For
Jesus) Cochran would get them acquitted.
Stay tuned for future adventures.
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