Just Another Friday

This is Paula (Heaven Is Just A Kiss Away) White.  She is Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s “religious counselor.”  Evidently she is really good because Donald’s staff reports that every time she meets with The Don behind closed doors; he is heard shouting “Oh God, Oh God” a lot.  Thanks to my number one investigator Snoop Dawg Doyle for digging up this little gem of info.

And this is Kathy (I Am Beyond Stupid) Miller who was the campaign chairman in Mahoning county Ohio for the Trump fiasco.  Kooky Kathy told a reporter this week, “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected”.  When she was asked about the Civil Rights movement or segregation she replied, “I never experienced it. I never saw that as anything.”  Evidently when KKK Kathy was born hatched; they immediately put a sheet over her head, but forgot to cut eye holes in it.  Kathy resigned right after she got her foot out of her mouth.

Former corrupt Loudmouth of the House Tom (Someone Put Me Out Of My Misery Without) DeLay is pimping for Jesus. Yes it seems he is now a preacher for hire.  Can you imagine how desperate a congregation would have to be to hire this asshole to come preach?

Just a thought, but should we be putting Melania (I’m With Stupid) Trump’s picture on milk cartons?

Yahoo says that some one hacked into about 200,000 of their users accounts.  Wow, I thought Yahoo went out of business in the 60’s.  Maybe I'm thinking of Parcheesi.

Odd, but I can’t hear this guy now.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Morning Soapbox

60 people wrote to the Judge who is going to sentence Dennis (I Should Have Been A Priest) Hastert to prison to ask him not to be harsh with the sentence because little Denny is such a nice person.  After the judge said he would not read any of them if they refused to let the public see them, 20 of them slipped back into the child molester fan club closet.

A number of former Conressmorons including former House LoudMouth “Hot Tub” Tom (Ignore Me Without) DeLay wrote that Denny Pooh was a man of strong faith.  Yeah, I pretty sure he was positive that he would never get caught. I understand the family writing, but anybody else writing is a total asshole.

Another example of why Oklahoma’s motto is Oklahoma Is Oakie Dopey.  State Rep. David ( Double Dumb ) Brumbaugh said that even though Oklahoma was facing a 1.6 billion dollar deficit that the fine folks up there shouldn’t worry about it because “If we take care of the morality, God will take care of the economy.” Wow, God is picking up the tab for Oklahoma’s incredibly stupid Republican policies.  I guess he will just dig up a couple blocks of those streets of gold and send them down to cover the deal.

It appears to me that The Republican Party is headed toward a brokered broken convention in Cleveland.  I am pretty sure it is going to be held here.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

I'm Just Sayin'

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump says he is not going to show up for tonight’s Republican debate debacle because that mean ole Megyn (Faux News Bimbo) Kelly might ask him some questions he doesn’t like.  Looks like little Donnie’s wimpy, scared-of-the-dark, cry-baby, spoiled inner child has shown up.

Former Loud-Mouth-of-the-House, Tom (Hot Tub) DeLay is saying that friends of his in the F.B.I. are telling him that they are about to indict Hillary Clinton.  He said that J.Edgar called him personally and gave him the scoop.  Since it’s a fact that Tom has no friends, we know this is all bullshit.    

 

The Bundy Bunch is now in jail minus one.  Robert (Just Call Me Stupid) LaVoy Finicum is in the morgue.   Their leader Amoron Bundy said Robert died doing what he loved…being stupid.  He went on to say that he was one of the stupidest people he knew and would miss him.  Robert’s neighbors commented that when it came to stupid, Robert was the best.  I understand his favorite song was “Something Stupid.”

The Bundy leader also said he wasn’t worried about their legal status because he was sure that their lawyer Johnny (Legal Counsel For Jesus) Cochran would get them acquitted.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Back In The Saddle

 I had an unplanned road trip pop up this past week so I was away from my computer, but I am pretty sure these people said some really dumb things.  Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry, Louie (I Really am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert, Pat ( I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson, Michele (I Am Nuts and My Husband is Gay) Bachman, Gregg (Hell on Wheels) Abbott, Tom (I Used to be the Hammer, Now I’m the Nail) DeLay and Sean (I’m Not as Tall as Bill O’Reily, but I am Just as Big an Asshole) Hannity. I don’t have a clue what any of these boneheads had to say last week, but I’d be willing to bet the farm that if they opened their mouth, stupid came out.

The Ku Klux Klan in South Carolina has announced that they are having a KKK Jam Rally this summer.  I understand they will be having a number of workshops. 

• Which Bible scriptures you can use to get out of any jam. 
• Cross Burning 101
• 
  
• What the thread count of your sheets say about you.
• How to justify hating Obama and loving the Lord
• KKK talking points. Killing, Kerosene, King James Bible

And they have quite a line-up of bands performing. 

The Rolling Stone-U-To-Death

U2, but Not U-Two

Guns N’Ropes

Van Hateful

The Who Cares

Red Hot Chili Pinheads

White Sabbath

Stay tuned for future adventures.

T.G.I.F

There is a local moving company in town called Galaxy Movers. I called them up and told them I was thinking about moving to Mars and would like an estimate.

A church down the road from me is called the Greater Love Tabernacle.  I stopped the other day and told them I just wanted to look around.  I said that I had stopped at their truck stops many times and thought they were very nice.

  
Former Congressmoron Tom (Meaner Than a Snake and Twice as Dumb) DeLay oozed out of his dark hiding place to make this comment,  “that God created this nation and that He wrote the Constitution.”  No Dumbass,  people created this nation and they wrote the Constitution.  People who by the way wanted freedom from religious assholes like you. Tom, do us all a favor and crawl back under your rock.

Dan (I Used to be a Sports Nut, Now I’m a Religious Nut) Patrick who wants to be the next Lt. Governor of Texas says in his latest political ad that he is a Christian first, Conservative second and Republican third.  Sorry Danny Boy, I couldn’t disagree with you more. I have been watching your antics for years and you are first and foremost an IDIOT.  

Ohio has passed a couple of Republican sponsored bills that makes voting in that state much more difficult, especially for minorities.  Low voter turnout is how Republicans stay in office.  When everyone votes; Republicans lose.

Arizona has passed a law making it legal to discriminate against people they don’t like.  What a great state: State of paranoia that is.





 Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Same Ole News

When Rep. Charles Rangel spoke before the House Ethics Committee yesterday, he kept saying, “I’m not a crook.”  Didn’t someone else say that?  Sounds familiar…..He also said, “I didn’t try to hide anything.”  Well hell, no wonder he got caught….

Have you noticed how under the radar Tom DeLay’s money laundering trial is?  Did you even know it was going on?  That’s because nobody gives a shit about Tom DeLay anymore.

A gay couple got married on a plane while flying over Canada where gay marriage is legal.  Pat Robertson said he was shocked…..He couldn’t believe that God hadn’t struck the plane down.
                                             
Lisa Murkowski's has won the Alaska election for Senator as a write-in candidate.  Sounds to me like the TLC producers screwed up, maybe it should be Lisa Murkowski’s Alaska

Here is a little Christmas present for everybody that is unemployed. Republicans in the House have blocked a bill that would have extended jobless benefits for the long-term unemployed beyond the holiday season.  I guess there are no unemployed Republicans. Isn’t that nice? Could it be that the G in GOP stands for Grinch?

Two former longtime employees at Bernard Madoff's firm were arrested on Thursday in connection with the investigation into the now-imprisoned swindler's Ponzi scheme, the FBI said.  What?.....Bernie didn’t pull off the 65 Billion dollar scheme all by himself.  I sure didn’t see this one coming.

I feel bad for all those folks in Haiti.  No wonder they call it Haiti.

In 1867 when Congress approved of the purchase of the territory that is now known as Alaska, the Republicans were against it.  They said it contained nothing of value but furbearing animals, and these had been hunted until they were nearly extinct.  Wow, sounds like Sarah Palin’s Alaska to me.


The TV show Medium just got canceled.  The star of the show is a psychic who works for the Phoenix police department.  You would have thought she would have seen this coming.


Today's good read is Fly By Wire by Ward Larsen. A well written story with a twist on a terrorist attack on the US. 



Stay tuned for future adventures and see more Sleeps Til Noon at www.hotslop.com