Road Trip

See ya next week….
Maybe this will get your toes tappin’


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Disparity

Here is some really disturbing news.  In 2010, over half the wealth in the entire world was held by 385 individuals.  As of today, over half the wealth in the entire world is held by 80 people.  That is seriously out of whack.

35 of those people are Americans and of course two of them are the sleezy Koch brothers.  They announced this week that they plan on spending 889 million dollars on getting TeaNut wackos elected to office this year. .

So if you don’t think these boneheads are bought and paid for….think again.

Iowa’s answer to Sarah (Half Ass Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin is Joni (My Brain Is Hog Tied) Ernst.  Last week in her rebuttal to the State of the Union address, Joni told the story about how poor her family was growing up.  How she only had one pair of shoes and they had holes in them. She would wrap them up in bags to keep out the snow and rain when she walked to catch the school bus. Poor Joni.

It is now known that Joni’s family received over $460,000 dollars in government assistance. I think the bags she was referring to came from the bags of money her Uncle Sam sent them.

Little Joni also espoused on the campaign trail that she thinks churches not the government ought to take care of the poor and sick.   Joni is like Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry in thinking that Jesus Care is much better than ObamaCare.  Of course with JesusCare you just pray that you don’t get sick.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike (Aw Shucks) Huckabee thinks that chapel and bible readings will stop school shootings. Little Mikey thinks JesusCare works here also. You just pray you don’t get shot.

Here is something else Shuckabee believes in.  In 1998 he was one of 131 signatories to affirm the statement on family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist convention.  That statement read "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."   I wonder if he would have been so eager and willing to sign up if he had to submit servant leadership to his wife.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

IOWA: The Center of Nowhere

The Freedom Summit, better known as Annual Meeting of the Liars Club, was held in Iowa this week.  I am pretty sure with all of the bullshit that was spewed over the weekend; Iowa’s sea level height was raised by at least ten feet.

Sarah (Half Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin seems to be getting the most attention. Her teleprompter froze sending Sarah into a trance where she rambled incoherently one long sentence until she hyperventilated, put a paper bag over her head and ambled off into the sunset.  I’m not too sure about the hyperventilating and paper bag part.

 Excommunicated Speaker of the Penthouse, Newt (Which is Short For Nitwit) Gingrich tried to revive the already debunked Right-wing wacko smear about Hilary Clinton and Boko Haram.  The truth is some TeaNut overheard a staff member saying that one of Hilary’s favorite groups was Procol Harum whose hit was “A Whiter Shade of Pale.”

Head TeaNut wacko who hosted this total waste of time and breath was Iowa’s Congrssmoron Steve (I Never Met a Immigrant I Liked) King topped everyone by uttering in middle of his remarks that Americans  “come from every possible planet.”  If I had to guess which planet little Stevie was from, I would say it would be Uranus.

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry got heckled when he started speaking about immigration.  I assume they wanted him to migrate back to the Lone Star State.

Donald (Very Little Hair, Giant Ego) Trump told the fine folks of Iowa that he could have beat Obama in 2012 if he had stayed in the race. Yeah and I would have won the lottery last Saturday if I had picked the right numbers. I doubt little Donnie could win the super’s job at Trump Tower.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Another Flakey Friday

Iowa’s Congressmoron Steve ( I Never Met An Immigrant I Liked) King, the GOP’s (Gang of Prevaricators) biggest critic of immigration reform is hosting his Freedom Summit this weekend.  I am not sure why he calls it the Freedom Summit since there will be no free thinking allowed.

Here is a partial lineup of the boneheads attending this fiasco, Chris (I Don’t Burn Bridges, I Just Close Them) Christie, Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz, Rick ( I Need To Be In A) Santorum, Mike (I Have God’s Vote) Huckabee and Ben (Oreo Cookie) Carson.  I am pretty sure none of these goobers ever had an original thought in there lives.

Speaking of Iowa, new Senaterrible Joni (I Really Am Not) Ernst who instead of delivering a rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union Address simply blathered on about how poor her family was during Ronald (Bad Actor, Worse President) Reagan’s time in office. I guess little Ronnie’s trickle down economics didn’t trickle down to Iowa.

Congressomoron Louie ( I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert is facing ethics complaint of using his PAC money for a trip to England to make political speeches. Since Loony Louie is a member of the Penthouse of Representatives and not a member of the House of Lords in England, that is a no-no.  Louie said he thought since we won the Revolutionary War that England was under American rules.

Here is the list of 48 Republican Senaterribles that voted to say climate change is not man made.
Barrasso, John (R – WY)
Blunt, Roy (R – MO)
Boozman, John (R – AR)
Burr, Richard (R – NC)
Capito, Shelley Moore (R – WV)
Cassidy, Bill (R – LA)
Coats, Daniel (R – IN)
Cochran, Thad (R – MS)
Corker, Bob (R – TN)
Cornyn, John (R – TX)
Cotton, Tom (R – AR)
Crapo, Mike (R – ID)
Cruz, Ted (R – TX)
Daines, Steve (R – MT)
Enzi, Michael B. (R – WY)
Ernst, Joni (R – IA)
Fischer, Deb (R – NE)
Flake, Jeff (R – AZ)
Gardner, Cory (R – CO)
Grassley, Chuck (R – IA)
Hatch, Orrin G. (R – UT)
Heller, Dean (R – NV)
Hoeven, John (R – ND)
Inhofe, James M. (R – OK)
Isakson, Johnny (R – GA)
Johnson, Ron (R – WI)
Lankford, James (R – OK)
Lee, Mike (R – UT)
McCain, John (R – AZ)
McConnell, Mitch (R – KY)
Moran, Jerry (R – KS)
Murkowski, Lisa (R – AK)
Paul, Rand (R – KY)
Perdue, David (R – GA)
Portman, Rob (R – OH)
Risch, James E. (R – ID)
Roberts, Pat (R – KS)
Rounds, Mike (R – SD)
Rubio, Marco (R – FL)
Sasse, Ben (R – NE)
Scott, Tim (R – SC)
Sessions, Jeff (R – AL)
Shelby, Richard C. (R – AL)
Sullivan, Daniel (R – AK)
Thune, John (R – SD)
Tillis, Thom (R – NC)
Toomey, Patrick J. (R – PA)
Vitter, David (R – LA)
Wicker, Roger F. (R – MS)

I really don’t understand why these boneheads think that man can’t change the climate.  Don’t they know who invented the thermostat?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Bubbles From My Soapbox

Evidently the Seahawks, Russell (God’s Quarterback) Wilson is the NFL’s version of Tim Tebow with talent.  Little Rusty just couldn’t quit gushing and tweeting how God was on their side to win the game over the Green Bay Packers. He never did say what it was that the Packers did to piss God off.

Seems to me, he could have thanked his team for finally waking up from a coma to actually play football for the last two minutes of the game and also to Green Bay for not knowing how to score a touchdown when you are inside the five yard line.

I’m not a Christian, but if I were with all that’s going on in the world, I would be highly insulted about somebody giving God the credit for wining a FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME.

I do believe Russell is a good person and I know he does a lot for charities, but I would just as soon he keep his religious crap to himself.  

While I’m rambling on about religion, it seems to me like war hawks John (Civil War Veteran) McCain and Lindsey (My Panties Are Always in a Bunch Because That’s How I Buy Them) Graham and their necompoop buddies are just dying to get into a religious war.  You know my religion is better than your religion type thing.

I don’t understand this because the boneheads they want to get into a war with are a hundred times more religious than they are. I mean those goobers fall down on their knees and pray about every five minutes when the pseudo religious folks like ole John and little Lindsey make it to church about once a week - if that much, and I suspect it is more to be seen than anything else.


 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flakey Friday

An event called the Deep East Texas Reception was held in Austin this week and Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert was recognized as Deep East Texas Legislator of the year 2015.  First of all there is absolutely nothing Deep about East Texas and there sure as hell isn’t anything Deep about Looney Louie, but how do you get to be legislator of the year when the year is only three weeks old?  There is still enough time left in the year for people to become conscious and have Louie committed to Rusk State hospital for being terminally stupid.

Iowa’s newest and possible dumbest ever Senterrible Joni (I Really Am Not) Ernst has drawn the short straw and will give the Republican response after President Obama’s State of the Union address. Little hogtied Joni who uttered some extremely stupid things during her campaign will now get the chance to make a complete fool of herself in front of a national audience.    

Another example of those fine loving Christians, you know the ones that talk about that we are all God’s children, showing their hypocritical ass in public.  A funeral was abruptly stopped when the minister found out the deceased was gay.  Of course, since she was dead, I am pretty sure she was no longer gay, but in all of his narrow brained wisdom, he decided he just couldn’t go on proclaiming what a good person she was.

This all took place in front of hundreds of family and friends at the New Hope Ministries in Denver. I would suggest they change their name to No Hope Ministries as they have obviously decided to remain locked in the darkness of their ignorance.   

Sate Represenitive from South Carolina Alan ( My Gun Is A 45 And So Is My I.Q) Clemmons wants high schools in his state to teach a curriculum consisting of material from the NRA (National Rabid Assholes). He said each student would be checked before entering the classroom for a gun and if they didn’t one, they would be issued one.  I think Ammo Alan has this guy in mind to teach the class.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wasted Wednesday

I just spent the better part of today making new friends with folks in India.  My cell phone decided to emulate me and retire, so I got to try to explain very slowly that I needed technical help.  I will say the people were nice and they did help me be able to converse with the rest of the world, but I don’t think we will become pen pals.

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz is the new chair on the subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. This is pretty much like hiring the town arsonist to be the new fire chief.

 

Thanks to all of the fine folks who didn’t exercise their right to vote this past November, we are now seeing the one word TeaNut Republicans at their best. No to immigration, No to fixing the Voting Rights Act and No to anything else that might help middle class Americans. The only thing the TeaNuts say yes to is the Koch Brothers and Wall Street.

Stay tuned for future adventures. 

I'm Just Sayin'

A number of folks up in Plano, Texas want to repel their city’s equal rights ordinance.  Seems they are not happy unless they can discriminate against gay people.  These folks are known as Plano assholes.

The terrible tragedy in Paris proves that satire is not for stupid people.

Some more of those responsible gun owners have shot a loved one. Seems a man in North Carolina left to go to work and the wife reset the alarm system.  When the man came back to surprise the wife with breakfast, she shot him. When asked if she thought he was an intruder coming in, she said no, she wanted pancakes instead of bacon and eggs.

Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz is all in tizzy because President Obama didn’t attend the solidarity rally in Paris.  When asked why he didn’t go, little Teddy said that his final exam in automatic transmission repair class was the next day and he had to study.  

Texas State Represenitive Ceil (I Only Answer To The Dinner) Bell Jr. must be a protégé of Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.  Little (actually he is big fat) Ceil has written a bill that says that if local government employees give out same sex marriage licenses, they would not get their paychecks, benefits or pensions. What a jerk. Cecil has decided if he can’t punish the people he doesn’t like, he will just punish people he doesn’t know.

Senaterrible John (Civil War Veteran) McCain was on the TV yesterday blathering on and on about putting more boots on the ground to stop terror attacks, but he couldn’t manage to explain how this would help. I am beginning to think old John owns a lot of stock in a boot company somewhere.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Random Thoughts From a Disorganized Mind

The 114 Congress has only been in session three days and they have already set a record.  For the first time in history, the majority of members of Congress are millionaires.  Well isn’t that just ducky.  From now on I think we should refer to congressmorons as members of the Penthouse of Represenitives and the Senaterribles as belonging to the Senate Manor.   

Let’s look at some numbers.  There are approximately 360 million people living in America and a little over 9 million have a worth of 1 million dollars.  In Congress, of the 534 members, 268 are millionaires. Gee I wonder which group of people gets the most representation.

It seems that Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert bid to take the Speaker of the Penthouse job has fallen a little short. Actually it didn’t get off the ground high enough to fall.  Looney Louie got three votes of which one was his own.  Now the burning question is who are the two dipshits that voted for this fool?

The new chair of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee is Oklahoma Senaterrible Jim( Gohmert is Dumb, I’m Just Plain Stupid) Inhofe.  This bonehead believes that Climate Change is hoax and is a member of the Flat Earth Society.  As Jimbo likes to say, “I ain’t a scientist but I can look out my front door and see that the earth is flat.” After all, this pinhead is from a state whose motto is Oklahoma is Okie Dopey.  A state by the way that won’t even talk about gun safety but is thinking about outlawing hoodies.  Yeah, that’ll fix things.

North Texas reported 9 small earthquakes this week but come to find out it was just aftershocks from New Jersey Governor Chris (I Don’t Burn Bridges, I Just Close Them) Christie jumping up and down in Jerry Jones private box at the Dallas Cowboy game Sunday.

Yesterday was Elvis Presley’s 80^th birthday. I’ve noticed there haven’t been any sightings of Elvis in quite a while. I hope he is not sick.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Sheet For Brains

I wasn’t going to write about this, but alas I must.  First many GOP (Gang of Prevaricators) boneheads immediately jumped into defending Republican Majority Whip Steve (If You Are White, You’re Alright) Scalise after finding out he spoke at a White Supremacy meeting. You remember little Stevie claimed he didn’t know it was a Klan gathering, he thought it was a convention for sheet salesmen.

So everybody from John (Its My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To) Boehner to Sarah (Half Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin said what a great guy Steve was. Then this week Bill (America’s Biggest Bully) O’Reily had head Klan Butthead David (I’m Not A Racist, I Just Hate Black People) Duke on his TV show to blather on how he wasn’t a racist.

Anyway I found this article on Democrats Organizing for America.  I couldn't find who wrote it, but it says exactly what I think.

"I'm not a racist but..."
Sure you are. You just changed your clothes.

In 2015, racists with white hoods and swastikas- while they're still out there- are marginalized and shunned; relics of a bygone era. Today's modern racist wears a suit and a Tea Party hat and talks about "urban thugs' instead of ni**ers.

Instead of burning crosses in yards they cut funding for schools in poor neighborhoods and advocate mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients.
Instead of demanding separate drinking fountains they warn of immigrant children carrying Ebola and sent by Muslims to infect and destroy America.

They don't scream and curse at black children attending white schools any more- they just try to take away their school lunch and any chance for a college scholarship.
They don't make folks sit in the back of the bus, they just refuse to pay them a living wage and call that 'freedom' and 'liberty'.

They don't refuse to sit in the same restaurant as black people- they just wonder about the President's birth certificate, say that he 'doesn't have American values' and accuse him of flashing gang signs.

They don't keep black people as slaves any more... they just compare everything from health insurance to food stamps to slavery and remind us that after all slaves DID get free room and board.

They don't lynch them in the dark, they just cheer when the police shoot them down in broad daylight for 'resisting arrest' or 'making a threatening gesture' like holding a cell phone.

So please- keep your "I'm not a racist" excuses to yourself. You can dress yourself up any way you like- call yourself a "conservative Christian pro-life trickle-down flat-tax tough-love Republican" or whatever other disguise you choose, but a racist by any name has the same disgusting smell. It's the smell of hate and entitlement, and it gives you away every time.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Brand New Year, Same Old Stuff

The 114th Congress will be sworn in tomorrow with the TeaNut Republicans in charge, so remember to set your clock back 40 years. With the unemployment rate at the lowest figure in 8 years, Wall Street numbers the highest in history, $2 dollar gasoline and Obamacare working, a GOP spokesman said that they realized they had a big challenge ahead of them. He said the first thing they will do is get everyone together and form a conscious on what to screw up first.

He went on to say that the upside was that they had a lot of new members being sworn in that had slithered in due to the lowest voter turnout since the early 40’s bringing their tiny reptilian brains with them.  Also he said with the help of God, that being the Religious Right, they would have them overwhelm the social media with crap that didn’t mean anything. He remarked that he understood why they call themselves “Believers” because they would believe anything the Republicans told them.

He pointed out that they already have three conservative think tanks working on a new crisis that will scare the shit out of the general public to peddle to the media. Also they have John (Civil War Veteran) McCain, Ted (Me, Me, Me) Cruz, Lindsey (My Panties Are Always in a Bunch) Grahm and Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert primed to hit the airwaves with some really stupid stuff to take the attention away from what is really going on. He said he felt sure that they could bring Washington to a grinding halt in about two weeks.  

AND THIS JUST IN: Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert says he is going to challenge John (It’s My Party, I’ll Cry If I Want To) Boehner for Speaker of the House. I’m laughing too hard to write anymore.



Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Nothing New Here

Today is National Run It up the Flagpole Day.  It is a day to throw out new ideas and see who salutes. How about we all go back to bed and sleep on it?  Oh wait, tomorrow is Festival of Sleep Day so we will do that tomorrow.

After much pondering and serious thinking, I ran a white flag up to signal my giving up, quitting, calling it a day, surrendering, discontinuing all brain activity, knocking off, abandoning all thoughts, throwing in the towel, bailing out, chickening out, closing up shop, packing it in, blowing it off, jumping ship and turning out the lights.

Hopefully by Monday I will have enough grey matter together to see if I can string a few thoughts together that matter. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.