Brand New Year, Same Old Stuff

The 114th Congress will be sworn in tomorrow with the TeaNut Republicans in charge, so remember to set your clock back 40 years. With the unemployment rate at the lowest figure in 8 years, Wall Street numbers the highest in history, $2 dollar gasoline and Obamacare working, a GOP spokesman said that they realized they had a big challenge ahead of them. He said the first thing they will do is get everyone together and form a conscious on what to screw up first.

He went on to say that the upside was that they had a lot of new members being sworn in that had slithered in due to the lowest voter turnout since the early 40’s bringing their tiny reptilian brains with them.  Also he said with the help of God, that being the Religious Right, they would have them overwhelm the social media with crap that didn’t mean anything. He remarked that he understood why they call themselves “Believers” because they would believe anything the Republicans told them.

He pointed out that they already have three conservative think tanks working on a new crisis that will scare the shit out of the general public to peddle to the media. Also they have John (Civil War Veteran) McCain, Ted (Me, Me, Me) Cruz, Lindsey (My Panties Are Always in a Bunch) Grahm and Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert primed to hit the airwaves with some really stupid stuff to take the attention away from what is really going on. He said he felt sure that they could bring Washington to a grinding halt in about two weeks.  

AND THIS JUST IN: Louie (I Really Am as Dumb as I Look) Gohmert says he is going to challenge John (It’s My Party, I’ll Cry If I Want To) Boehner for Speaker of the House. I’m laughing too hard to write anymore.



Stay tuned for future adventures.