Dear John Letter

Arizona Senator John Complain, the grumpiest old man in the world according to the Guinness Book of World Records  is going to write a column for the Russian newspaper Pravda as a response to the op-ed piece in the New York Times by Russian President Putin-On-a-Show.  I was able to get my hands on ole McGrumpy’s first draft and thought I would pass it along.

Dear Russia-type people, well those that can read, 

I would like to say that we are a very peaceful country and if you don’t believe that, we will bomb the hell out of you. We believe in the democratic process and do not put up with dictators and if you don’t believe that, we will bomb the hell out of you.

We are very concerned about your President, ole shirtless boy, backing Syrian President 
Bastard el Asshole, as he is someone we would like to bomb the hell out of.  We don’t like people telling us what to do and we will bomb the hell out of you if you do. Even though President Obama seems reluctant to use bombs, we Republicans have vowed to put the “Bomb” in Obama.

Of course being a firm believer in capitalism and the free market I feel obligated to tell you that we have a great inventory of American made bombs right now, so if you would like to buy some, let me know.

By the way, I do like your vodka and promise we won’t bomb any of your Smirnoff factories.

Yours truly, John (Wayne) McCain.

P.S.  Lindsey Graham says “Screw you too.” 

Two mink-lined cashmere capes as well as a fur, mink-hooded parka are among the items up for auction today that were illegally bought by disgraced Representative Jesse ( Soon To Be Shoeless) Jackson Jr. from campaign money.  Jesse said that he had made a mistake in buying the items, that he should have bought a couple of jurors and judge instead.   




Stay tuned for future adventures.