The Rumor Mill

Sarah Palin has announced that she is thinking of returning to public service. So if you are a member of the public and want to get serviced, give Sarah a call. 

 The Texas legislature is about to pass a bill making conception illegal.

This just in from Washington, the House GOP has a new immigration plan.  They are planning on giving Texas back to Mexico.

The mysterious inscription found on a 3,000 year-old ceramic jar fragment found near Jerusalem’s Temple Mount has finally been deciphered.  It says Made in China.

Next month Congress is replacing Francis Scott Keys, “Star Spangled Banner” with Sting’s, “Every Breath You Take” as the national anthem.

So far Venezuela, Nicaragua, Bolivia and the state hospital in Rusk, Texas have offered Edward Snowden asylum.

Word is that a through investigation of the Washington Redskins has found that they don’t have a single Native American on the team so they are going to change the name of the team to the Washington Highly Paid, Lowly Talented Football Players.

Tea Party Queen, Michele Bachman is leaving politics but said she would entertain the possibility of an Ambassadorship to the Moon.  She said she had always felt a deep connection with Moonies.

The NRA has officially changed their motto to “Shoot first and ask questions later”.

Texas Senator Ted (Even I don't listen to what I say) Cruz, a Canadian born Cuban, says he has no problems with Mexicans crossing the border as long as it’s the Canadian border. 

At this time it looks like Aaron Hernandez will be the number one draft pick at Sing Sing this year.

A spokesman for Justin Bieber has announced that Justin suffers spontaneous ego combustion moments.  In other words, he throws temper tantrums and sometimes threatens to hold his breath until he turns blue.  

Janet Napolitano is resigning as head of Homeland Security and word is that Jack Bauer is at the top of the list to replace her.

Stay tuned for future adventures.