Bits & Pieces

When Michele (Of Course My Husband is Gay, but He is Not Real Gay) Bachman heard the first plane to be designated as Air Force One is now decaying under the relentless glare of the sun in a southern Arizona field, she was outraged.  She said to let the plane that flew George Washington over the Potomac during the Revolutionary War to sit in ruins was a disgrace. 

I think the scariest thing about the hidden weapons that were found on the North Korean ship coming through the Panama Canal is that they were addressed to Dennis Rodman.

U.S. Attorney Preet( I Can't Pronounce My Name Either) Bharara said today that no Wall Street individual or corporation was too big to go to jail, but since not a single person has gone to jail over the 2008 financial crisis, I’m assuming that there are a number of folks who are too rich to go to jail. 

 With baseball’s attendance falling, I think it is time to change the rules to make the game more fun.  First of all when the batter hits the ball they can run to any base they choose. The pitcher would throw from the dugout and yell “gotcha” before he pitched the ball. Three strikes and you are out forever.  Also both leagues would have the designated hitter rule and the designated hitter would be a fan picked from the stands. And only the fans can do any spitting and scratching.  

It looks like Liz (I’m Not the Gay One, I’m the Stupid One) Cheney’s campaign for the Senate is off to a lying start.

What? KFC is firing Colonel Sanders.  Hey, just because the guy has been dead since 1980 is not a reason to fire him.  I have licked my fingers for the last time.

This comes under the heading, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.  I’ve noticed when looking at a map of Florida it looks like a giant penis.

Libya has turned Colonel Muammar Gadhafi’s former military compound into a park.

Stay tuned for future adventures.