Friday, September 23, 2016

Just Another Friday

This is Paula (Heaven Is Just A Kiss Away) White.  She is Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s “religious counselor.”  Evidently she is really good because Donald’s staff reports that every time she meets with The Don behind closed doors; he is heard shouting “Oh God, Oh God” a lot.  Thanks to my number one investigator Snoop Dawg Doyle for digging up this little gem of info.

And this is Kathy (I Am Beyond Stupid) Miller who was the campaign chairman in Mahoning county Ohio for the Trump fiasco.  Kooky Kathy told a reporter this week, “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected”.  When she was asked about the Civil Rights movement or segregation she replied, “I never experienced it. I never saw that as anything.”  Evidently when KKK Kathy was born hatched; they immediately put a sheet over her head, but forgot to cut eye holes in it.  Kathy resigned right after she got her foot out of her mouth.

Former corrupt Loudmouth of the House Tom (Someone Put Me Out Of My Misery Without) DeLay is pimping for Jesus. Yes it seems he is now a preacher for hire.  Can you imagine how desperate a congregation would have to be to hire this asshole to come preach?

Just a thought, but should we be putting Melania (I’m With Stupid) Trump’s picture on milk cartons?

Yahoo says that some one hacked into about 200,000 of their users accounts.  Wow, I thought Yahoo went out of business in the 60’s.  Maybe I'm thinking of Parcheesi.

Odd, but I can’t hear this guy now.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Hump Day Blah Blahs

I wonder how many unarmed people the police are going to have to shoot before things change?  Of course I have the feeling that if they were to begin shooting unarmed white people, it might change a little faster.

Hump of the week is Milwaukee county Sheriff David (Lock-em-up,Throw-away-the key) Clarke. Big time Trump supporter imbecile and Faux News go-to-guy Clarke had a prisoner die this week while incarcerated in jail.  The prisoner died of thirst.  That’s right they cut off the water to his cell and he died of dehydration.  10 inmates have died at the Sheriff’s jail between 2008 and 2012.  Now there is some top notch police work.  

Not to be upstaged by Cold Bloodied Killer Clarke, Arizona Sheriff Joe (World’s Toughest Dumbest Sheriff) Arpaio said yesterday that he is still investigating President Obama”s birth certificate.  I am beginning to believe that the “Police Academy” movies were actually documentaries.  

Willie (That’s Where The Money Is) Sutton’s reign as the world’s most famous bank robber is over.  He has been replaced by Wells Fargo CEO John (I’m In The Money) Stumpf.  Jerky John was paid a little over $19 million dollars last year to rip off his customers. Now that’s good work if you can get it.

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Hump said today that he couldn’t understand why everyone is so upset with him using the money from the Trump Foundation for his personal use. He went on to say the Trump Foundation has always had a personal money back guarantee. It says right there in black and white that anytime that he was tired of your money he would  give it back.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Monday Deja Vu

I was reading an article recently about Trump supporters imbeciles deplorables who like Trump because they are angry with politicians and government. These boneheads are simply Tea Party goobers who have disintegrated back into the one-cell amoeba’s they are today.  Here is a post that I wrote 6 years ago about them.  

Tea Party Makes For Strange Bed Wetters

I have written before that I don’t like politics and I absolutely loath politicians but I always vote.  First of all, you don’t get to bitch about the asshole who won if you don’t vote and you never know when your vote might be the one that makes a difference or in my case, the seven or eight votes.  I like to vote often.

This year with the emergence of the Tea Party, I think politics has taken even a turn for the worse.  The Tea Party or Kooks Galore as I like to think of them has taken it up a notch or two.  They have no platform, just an array of positions ranging from sealing off the borders, abolishing the Federal Reserve, closing a number of other Federal agencies and preserving the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy to mention a few.

Most of the candidates are walking contradictions.  One candidate who is a doctor says Medicare is boondoggle that is unsustainable, even though half of his reported income comes from Medicare and Medicade payments. He also is for eliminating farm subsides even though his family has collected over 3 billion dollars from the government in farm subsides since 1995.  Then there is the candidate who says social security is unconstitutional.  Obviously he has no intentions of ever retiring….from politics.

One of the things I would like to ask these people who rant and rave about Medicare, Social Security, Wellfare and Food Stamps is do they think if the government stopped all of those programs that they would get any money back or get their taxes cut.  I don’t think so.  Yes there is abuse in all of those programs, but they also help millions of good people who would otherwise have no help at all.

Another prominent politician in the Tea Party, Senator Jim DeMint from South Carolina, says that governmental gridlock is the best thing that could happen to big business.  I can see where he is a big help to the country.  Christine O’Donnell, the Tea Party candidate who can’t make up her mind if she is a witch or not, didn’t know that the separation of church and state was in the first amendment.  She also has admitted she didn’t go to Oxford but actually graduated from Hogwarts.

Of course their lead spokesman is Glen Beck who is possibly the biggest dry drunk I’ve ever seen.  If you are not familiar with the term, it is someone who still has a very destructive personality in terms of being, mean, untruthful, devious, and extremely self-centered; he just does it sober.  Yeah, there’s a spokesman to be proud of.

Most of these wackos are from the Republican side of the political world and they are just so mad and angry at the government that they can hardly stand it.  What I want to know is, where in the hell were they a few years ago when the Republicans, who were in power, were spending money faster than it could be printed, starting wars, and running the economy into the ground?  Why weren’t you pissed off then?  George W. Bush started the first bail-out to the Wall St. banks.  Obviously, the Tea Party folks have a severe case of selective amnesia.

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty to bitch about the way government does things.  It has been that way for a while and it is from both sides of the aisle.  The real deal is that there is actually only one BIG party.  The Republicans are on one end and the Democrats are on the other.  Their agenda is not for the good of the country, it is for the good of their political party and to keep getting re-elected.

Hey, I’m all for a third political party emerging, but I would like it to be the American party with an agenda that is geared for and befitting the American people…..All of the American people.

To all Republicans.  Obama hasn’t started a war…..So shut the fuck up.

To all Democrats.    For God sakes, get rid of Nancy Pelosi.

To the Tea Party.      Get a life….

To all Independents…  Get out and vote…..

To all people who vote a straight party ticket.    Please stay home, you are either too stupid or too lazy to figure out who the best candidate is.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Liar Education

I did a little research and found the curriculum for Trump University.  

Business:   How to file for Chapter 11
The Three B’s of business: Bullshit, Bribes and Blackmail
General and Advanced Ponzi Schemes.
How to keep two sets of books.
Over billing and other shady accounting tactics
House flipping 101
Setting up fake foundations
Creditor avoidance 

Drama:       Learn how to fake sincerity.
                   Perfecting 50 shades of lying

Sports:        Learn how to set odds
                   How to make book

Science:      How to avoid EPA rules and laws
They don’t offer Minors or Majors.  You choose between taking the Short Con or the Long Con.

So far the only people to have benefited financially from Trump University are Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump, Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott and Florida Attorney General Pam (Take The Money And Run) Bondi.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Hump Day News

In health care news, Hillary (I’m With Me) Clinton has Walking Pneumonia and Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump has a version of Mad Cow disease.  It’s called Bullshititis.  One is treatable and the other is incurable.

This week at a Trump rally a Trump supporter imbecile deplorable punched a 69 year old woman in the face and she fell on her oxygen tank and injured her ribs.  When asked why he hit the woman, he said, “Well I could tell she was pretty old, but when I saw she was on oxygen, I knew I could take her.”

On Dancing With The Stars Some People You Might Have Heard Of this week, former Texas Governor Rick (Two Right Feet) Perry said he didn’t do well because he was attempting a dance that was a little more involved than the “Texas Two Step”, but he couldn’t remember the third step.  Ricky Poo said he would do better next week because he was planning to veto the judge’s scores.

Also on the show, two anti-Ryan (My Favorite Is The Breast Stroke) Lochte demonstrators rushed the stage and was subdued by security people without incident.  After the show, Olympic swimmer Lying Ryan told reporters that he and his partner were robbed and beaten at gun point and feared for their lives. When asked if he was over exaggerating, he said maybe a little because he was too drunk to remember everything.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Monday Soap Box

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump has finally revealed his plan for putting ISIS out of business. He is going to buy them. 

I think it is time we impeached Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott.  I have noticed that he NEVER stands up during the National Anthem. 

Of course Texas is not the only state to have an ASSHOLE for Governor.  Kentucky has Matt (I Have God On Speed Dial) Bevin who told the boneheads attending the Value Voters Summit this past week-end that liberals were un-American for preventing conservative “Christians” from declaring America a Christian nation and instituting the Bible as the law of the land in place of the Constitution”.

Golly I wonder where Hillary came up with “basket of deplorables”

Speaking of Hillary, did you notice how she got Republicans to talk about women’s health care in one day?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Friday Fun Facts

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump says that he got the endorsements of 88 military leaders and veterans this week. I decided to do a little checking and see who these people are and found this.

11 bell ringers with the Salvation Army
6 sales clerks at Old Navy
12 veterans of the War on Drugs.
7 volunteers from Arnold Palmer’s Arnie’s Army in the sixties.
14 Montana Minute Men
9 veterans from the Cup Cake Wars on the Food Channel
13 people who worked for General Motors
16 members of the G.I. Joe fan club

When Libertarian candidate for President of the United States Gary (Every Man For Himself) Johnson was asked for his opinion on Aleppo he said that he never used it. He went on to say that his dogs preferred Purina.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert said today that Hillary was “mentally impaired.”  This from a man whose I.Q. and age or the same number.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.