Another Dead Dictator

Evidently Kim Jong really was il.   Another in the long line of Kim Jongs is set to take over North Korea.  Kim Jong Il who succeeded Kim Jong Sick and of course before him were Kim Jong Pneumonia, Kim Jong Not Feeling Very Well, Kim Jong Just a Cold, Kim Jong Pretty Run Down and Kim Jong Runny Nose.  The schizophrenic in the family was Kim Jong I’m ok... no I’m not.

North Korea’s most inept ruler was Kim Jong Dubya.  The most flamboyant dresser was Kim Jong Gaddafi and the one most-full-of himself was Kim Jong Newt.  The one with the worst hair-do was Kim Jong The Don and the only one who loved Jesus was Kim Jong Tebow.

Kim Jong un will be the new dictator of North Korea.  I’m not sure what the un stands for but more than likely it’s either unconscious, unbalanced or unbearable.  The upside of this is that the successor wasn’t the daughter Kim Jong Palin.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

'Tis The Season

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t had much to say recently.  I am really bored with writing about the political scene as this bunch of boneheads who are running for President on the Republican side of things are too dumb to even make fun of anymore.  The jokes are just too easy especially now that The Cain Train, as ole Herman liked to refer to it, has jumped the tracks. The Cain Train sorta reminded me of Soul Train.  Lots of dancing, fun to watch but not much substance, and let’s face it, Don Cornelius is way more cool than Herman.

Then there was talk about Donald (I may have a tiny brain but I have a giant ego) Trump being the moderator at a Republican debate.  That’s like hiring an arsonist to be fire chief.  
 
The other thing that I thought I might write about is “The Season” but that would just come out in a giant Bah Humbug rant that even I wouldn’t want to read.  Besides I’m not sure if Santa reads Sleeps Til Noon or not and there is no reason to block up the chimney just for the hell of it.

Another thing that’s getting all of the attention these days is Tim (I really, really, really, really love Jesus) Tebow.  I could care less if he loves Jesus.  I didn’t like him in college and I don’t think he is a very good quarterback now..  I’ve seen a couple of his so-called miracle come-back games and the only reason the Broncos won were because of a couple of key plays that Tebow didn’t have anything to do with.  He might try thanking his defense every once in a while instead of Jesus.

Of course there is The Kardashians.  One can’t turn on the TV without hearing something about them.  They have no talent, don’t contribute anything to the world and yet they are world-wide celebrities.  Besides, I always thought the Klingons had a lot more going for them.  Hell, even the Romulans were more interesting.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some Things Never Change.

Once of the best books I have read in a long time is The Help by Kathryn Stockett and I recently saw the movie which was also outstanding.  It was set in Mississippi in the early sixties and is a great example of bigotry and prejudice that was the norm of that time period.  All I could think was what a terrible place to live.  It made me wonder what Mississippi was like today so I did a little research.

First of all it is the reddest most conservative state in the United States where the Republicans totally rule. The Governor of Mississippi, Haley Barbour, is one of the darlings of the GOP. This is how they stack up with the rest of the country. They are dead last in median household income and fourth in per capita federal aid.  They are number one in the most people living under the poverty line and first in the percentage of its Medicaid program that is funded by the federal matching funds.

According to America’s Health Rankings, they have the worse quality of health care, but they are number one in teen pregnancies and gun deaths in the United States.  Oh, their unemployment is at 10.3 % now and they have the worst rates of mortgage delinquency in the 50 states. 
My conclusion is not much has changed in Mississippi.

M I S S I S S I P P I

Many Inane Stupid Shitheads Inbreeding Similar Shitheads Incessantly Promoting Permanent Ignorance.
  

Newton Leroy (I don’t live in Washington D.C., I just do business there) Gingrich said today that he is not a lobbyist.  He is just a citizen who happens to make millions of dollars influencing Congress.   For all the latest political stuff check out Juanita, I can’t say it better.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flippant Friday

 I just heard on the news that a car gets stolen every 48 minutes in Houston.  I believe if that was my car, I would just let them have it. 

The U.S. Postal Service said Tuesday it lost $5.1 billion last year….And I thought they were just losing my mail.

In 1939 there were 124 Munchkins and today there only 3.   I am outraged that the Government has failed to put them on the endangered species list. 
 

 The Big Bang Theory, a sitcom about four highly intelligent geeks has been so successful that they are rolling out new one about four college drop-outs.  It’s The Big Bong Theory. 

 

Just as ole Newton Leroy (I can flip-flop with the best of them) Gingrich's numbers were starting to rise, this comes out.  From 1999 through 2008 Newt Gingrich made between $1.6 million and $1.8 million in consulting fees from two contracts with mortgage company Freddie Mac.  Not only does it make him a real Washington insider if I ever saw one, but considering how Freddie Mac turned out, seems like the only thing ole Newit knows about debt is how to run it up.  

Governor Rick ( Where did everybody go?) Perry finally said something I agree with.  In a speech this week, he said that Congress spends too much time in Washington.  I believe most of them should spend way more time in prison. 

I see where Bill (I'm glad the holidays are here because I am as full of shit as Christmas turkey) O’Reilly’s new book “Killing Lincoln” has lots of mistakes in it.  I’m stunned.  He works for Fox News so who would have thought he would twist facts and get things completely wrong.  Its pretty obvious from the opening scene that Bill didn’t have his facts right when he stated that Lincoln was shot by Henry Ford at a toll booth on his way to Masterpiece Theater.

And a final thought…Did this bonehead defend O.J. in another life?  





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Calamity Cain

 Is this guy running for President or Pimp of the Year?

When Herman (All fluff and no substance) Cain was asked this week about the situation with Libya he had a Rick Perry oops.  First he hem hawed and stumbled for an answer, then said that he had never met her and certainly never had any sexual relations with her.

Herman has spent most of his life being a motivational speaker and he can’t seem to talk beyond worn out clichés and sound bites.  Here are few examples.

• When the going gets tough, grope a little harder.

• Never take no for an answer.  Women really mean yes when they say no.

• If at first you don’t succeed, see if you can get a second date.

His foreign policy…He never dates Hispanic or Asian women.

His economic policy…To spend as little as possible on his Presidential campaign and sell as many books as he can.

NEWSFLASH….
Who would of thought that the Republicans are into recycling.  The new flavor of the week in their party is once again Newton Leroy (The number one debt problem is my Tiffany’s account) Gingrich.  It is probably because he has such strong family values.  After all he has three of them.

Funny how Mitt the Mormon has only one wife and The Newt has three and at his age there is always the possibility of number four popping up at any time.  It all depends on whether Cruella stays healthy.  Newt tends to divorce them when they come down with cancer or something.

And as a last ditch effort to salvage his Titanic of a political campaign, Rick (Where did everybody go?) Perry in a speech yesterday tried to paint himself as a political outsider.  I’m still laughing.  Here is a guy who has never had a job outside of government.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Party of NO.

When I take a look at the Party of NO, better known as the Republican Party and what they have done in the past few years it makes me want to break out in song.  

As Rick (All hat and no cattle) Perry and Herman (All mouth and no brains) Cain fade in to the background, you can see the Christian conservatives in the Republican Party start to squirm.  It’s coming down to Mitt the Mormon or Three-Time-Married Newt.  I have the feeling when Election Day rolls around, they will opt for their third choice. Stay home


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flippant Friday

Here is a headline from MSNBC.
Gingrich Surges to Second in GOP Campaign
There is no surge. Gingrich simply inherits second place after Perry and Cain die of self-inflicted injuries.
  
I understand Herman (Nein, nein, nein) Cain is going for a new tactic this week to try to stem the accusations of sexual harassment that have been thrown at him.  He is bringing in a former assistant, three former secretaries and two hookers to testify that he was always a gentleman and tender lover no matter if they were doing it in his office, corporate suite or the back seat of his car.

I know Halloween is over but here is a scary thought.  Herman Munster would be a better President than Herman Cain.

The rioting students, the coaches and the school administrators; all of these boneheads should be attending the State Pen instead of Penn State. 
 

I certainly believe that Dr. Conrad Murray should not be able to practice medicine again but I didn’t agree with the charge of first degree manslaughter.  I thought it should have been first degree really-creepy-asexual-pop-singer-slaughter.  

Andy Rooney, my favorite curmudgeon, passed away last week and you can bet he is pissed off about it.  I can hear him now, “Don’t ya just hate it when you die.”

It is obvious that the so-called Supercommittee in Congress should change its name to Superficialcommittee.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Week That Wasn't.

 Last week was just a really crappy week.  I couldn’t bring myself to write a word much less a whole sentence.  First of all, the news of Kim Kardashian’s divorce was so depressing that I couldn’t get out of bed for two days.  Fairy-Tale weddings are supposed to last forever or six months, which ever comes first.

Then Chaz Bono gets kicked off of “Dancing With Semi-Celebrities.”  Even though he has grown a brand new pair, he still can’t lead.

When I finally managed to drag myself to the computer I found I was so totally bored with the political scene that I was mute.  Rick (Where did everybody go?) Perry is toast.  Michele (I just pray that my husband is straight) Bachmann  is so out of it she can’t even come up with an outrageous comment to get back in the news.

 Newton Leroy (Have I done this before?) Gingrich is doing a fabulous job of imitating the invisible man. Rick (I need to be in a) Santorum and Ron (I think we should secede from the world) Paul are below the horizon.

Then when Herman (Hey baby, want to see my corporate suite?) Cain is accused of sexual harassment, I’m thinking we will at least get to see some great tap dancing, but the bone-head pulls out the race card faster than you can say Clarence Thomas, so it is time to get the hook.

The only thing consistence about Mitt (Of course I have core beliefs, they just change everyday) Romney is his polling numbers which stay exactly the same no matter what anybody else says or does. 

The good news is that I am working on a new novel.  A number of friends have suggested that I write a book about radio, since I toiled in that environment for years, but I have resisted because I write fiction and I always felt like that was a non-fiction subject.   But alas, I have come up with a story line that I like and my main character is in radio, so we’ll see.  Wish me luck because getting up everyday to face the blank page is still an extremely daunting task.  



 Stay tuned for future adventures.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down.

If you still have any doubts about just how sleazy Slick Rick (Debates are bad for your political health) Perry is, here is a little preview of an upcoming article in Rolling Stone that should put you over the hump.  

I find it amazing how the Far Right Wing Nuts and the Tea Party Numnuts speak of Ronald Reagan as if he were the greatest politician who ever lived.  Here is a guy that raised taxes 11 times and tripled the national debt while inflation went through the roof.

Their favorite video clip is the one showing ole Ronald (I might have been a bad actor but I’m a worse President) Reagan saying, “Tear down that fence.”  And now they cheer Herman ( A pizza in every pot, or is it, pot in every pizza?) Cain every time he says he will build an electric barbed wire fence around the country.  Go figure. 




Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Incredible Shrinking Candidate

Here is a headline for you:

Perry Brings Aboard GOP Heavy Hitters

Then you read who these heavy hitters are that Texas Governor Rick (Where did everybody go?) Perry has brought in.  Well, they are GOP consultants who worked for Bob Dole, Steve Forbes and Fred Thompson.  Oh yeah, those are some real winners.

So today Perry trots out the ole flat tax plan…again.  The reason I say again is that this plan was thought up in 1981 and every five or ten years some politician who is getting his butt kicked drags it out to spin to folks who are looking for anything to grab hold of.  The flat tax plan has never made it past the talking stages and there is no reason to think it will last more than a few weeks this go around.

The main reason it will never be a law is the same reason none of the other tax plans will make it though Congress.  Do you think the large corporations in this country like GE, Exxon, Bank of America, Boeing, Goldman Sachs and Chevron, who actually run this country and pay no taxes now…not one cent…would let the politicians they have bought for good money, change the tax laws?    I don’t think so.  They believe in the Republican version of the American Dream; make a ton of money and pay no taxes. 

Speaking of large companies, a new report out shows that of the hundreds of thousands of companies in the world, 147 of them control everything financial.  Here is the top ten on that list. 
1. Barclays plc
2. Capital Group Companies Inc
3. FMR Corporation
4. AXA
5. State Street Corporation
6. JP Morgan Chase & Co
7. Legal & General Group plc
8. Vanguard Group Inc
9. UBS AG
10. Merrill Lynch & Co Inc

Excuse me, could you move your arm.  Now turn a little sideways, thanks, oops, the other way.  Ok thanks.  Now if you can hold your breath and let me breathe, I’ll do the same for you….World population is coming up on 7 billion, I’m just practicing. 

A lot of folks have compared the Occupy Wall Street crowd with the Tea Party bunch but there is one really big difference.  At least the Occupy folks can spell which is way more than I can say for the Tea Baggers.

Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again.  She is supposed to be doing her community service at the Los Angles morgue but they wouldn’t let her in the first day because they said she was late.  I don’t get that. Just about everybody in there is late.  The late Mrs. Brown, the late Mr Smith….


Stay tuned for future adventures

Political Déjà vu

When I hear someone say, “Well, you know, we learn from history,” I always think, no we don’t.  I don’t think we learn much at all. We wouldn’t still be having wars, fighting over minor social differences and continuing to destroy the planet instead saving it if we did.  I think we keep repeating history.  We keep doing the same ole crap over and over thinking that it will have a different outcome.  There is a word for this. Insanity.

I find this to be especially true in politics.  You would have thought the Republicans would have learned something from the Democrat’s fiasco in 2004.  Here was George W. Bush nearing the end of his first term which was nothing short of disastrous.  He and his cronies had started a needless war that they were losing, spending money like they were Democrats and his approval ratings were in the dumper. I mean here was a guy so over his head and out of his league that it wasn’t funny.
.   
So the brilliant thinkers on the Democrats team thought that  “Anyone but Bush” would put them back in the White House and they came up with flip-flopping, wishy-washy John Kerry.  Does this sound familiar to what’s happening now?

The problem is there weren’t enough “Bush Haters” to kick him out of office and there aren’t enough “Obama Haters” to kick him out of office.  To defeat a sitting President, you have to come up with somebody that really wants to be President.  Somebody the people really want to be President.  You know, somebody that has a plan, a vision, not just stupid campaign slogans and dumb talking points that some hack writer in the back room has pooped out.  Certainly not somebody like Rick Perry who has said he is exhausted from the debates.  If he doesn’t have the energy to get through the debates, the President’s gig would kill him. 

The Republicans biggest knock on Obama was and is that he just doesn’t have the experience, and now their flavor of the month, Herman Cain has absolutely no experience…NONE…NIL..ZERO….  This guy has never been elected for anything so his fifteen minutes will be up in about a week.

More than likely Mitt Romney will get the nomination in the end and since he is simply the Republican version of John Kerry, history will repeat itself once again.

Today's good read is The Burning Soul by John Connolly.  Another great adventure featuring  private detective Charlie Parker.






Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Modern Day Fairy Tale

The Republican debates.


We have Snow White, ie Michele Bachmann, pure as the driven snow…actually she is just white and homophobic.

Bashful…Newt Gingrich.. He very seldom has much to say and keeps to himself.

Dopey…Rick Santorum doesn’t seem to understand what is going on.

Happy…John Huntsman is just glad to be included.

Grumpy…Rick Perry thinks everyone is picking on him and doesn’t understand why they won’t let him pack heat during the debates.

Sleepy…Mitt Romney can pretty much sleepwalk though the debates and win.

Sneezy... Herman Cain seems to have a medical condition and can only say “999.”

Doc…Ron Paul, a doctor by profession but doesn’t seem to understand the part about helping his fellow man as he is against any kind of federal help to anyone, no matter what the circumstances.

I love how the Republicans always like to call their opponents flip-floppers.  Evidently changing your mind about something is worse thing you can ever do. Yet when we look back though the polls for the past few months we see that the Republicans seem to flip-flop about every two to three weeks on who they love.   First they just loved Trump, then Bachmann, then Romney, then Perry, and now Cain.  By the time we get to the actual election a year from now they will be down to Joe the Plumber.

Herman (I’m the black version of Ross Perot) Cain’s 999 plan has so many holes in it, his next plan will be 911 because he will need all the help he can get.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flake Of The Week

Republican candidate for President, Herman ( If you are not rich, its your fault) Cain is the newest flake, uh flavor of the week to move to the top of the polls. It is mostly because of his 9 9 9 tax campaign which sounds simple but once you look at the details; it benefits corporations and the rich while slamming  the poor and middle class. Cain, who has never held an elected office of any kind, made a bunch of money for his company by laying off 14,000 employees. Why do you think the Tea Party and conservatives like this guy?

Speaking of flakes, remember ole Harold (Your guess is as good as mine) Camping, the preacher who said the world was going to end back in the spring, well he is at again. Now he says it’s going to end on October 21st. Damn, and I had a great costume lined up for Halloween. I was going to get inside of a giant condom and go as Rick Perry.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Koch Me If You Can

Let’s put a face on some of the biggest donors for the Republican/Tea Party. Here are the real rulers of the party: The Koch brothers. David and Charles are head of Koch Industries of Wichita Kansas, a chemical, textile, trading and refining conglomerate.

These boys are the wheeler-dealers who keep the money flowing to the GOP (Greedy Obstructionist Pinheads) which appears to entitle them to run rough-shod over governmental regulations. They remind me of another pair of crooked brothers: Frank and Jessie James except they don’t use six-guns when they rob the government of taxable income so that law abiding citizens have to pick up the tab. 

They picked up the mantle from dear ole dad, Fred Koch, who was an early adviser to the founder of the John Birch Society, which fought against the civil rights movement and the United Nations.  Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree and rotten to the core. They would like to abolish Social Security, the Federal Reserve System, welfare, minimum wage laws and federal agencies -- including the Department of Energy, the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Central Intelligence Agency.

Here are the latest allegations against the Koch’s according to a report coming out in November’s issue of Bloomberg Markets Magazine.

• Koch Industries made improper payments (described by the former compliance director who discovered them as "bribes") to win business in six countries over eight years, a possible violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. One criminal law professor called the findings a "smoking gun.” The company described the payments as "activities constitut[ing] violations of criminal law."
• Koch Industries sold millions dollars worth of refinery equipment to Iran after President George W. Bush declared the nation was part of the “Axis of Evil.” The company claims these sales were legal at the time, and says it has since cut ties with Iran.
• Koch Industries allegedly pilfered 1.95 million barrels of crude oil pumped from federal lands by falsifying purchasing records, a Senate investigation found. One former worker said the company routinely incorrectly measured the oil, calling this practice the “Koch Method.”
• Koch Industries ignored federal regulations for pipeline safety — resulting in the deaths of at least two people in a pipeline explosion in Lively, Texas in 1996.

These two boneheads are probably the largest contributors to the Republican/Tea Party in the country and have been foaming at the mouth for Corporate Chris (I have a few big ideas but mostly I have a BIG appetite) Christie to jump into the 45^th running of the President’s cup.  The Koch brothers have a anti-labor and anti-regulatory agenda and Christie would have fit this plan to a T, but it seems that Corporate Chris didn’t get the memo laying out the Sarah Palin plan on how to be a half-assed governor and has decided to finish his term as Governor of New Jersey.

 Just another example of how money is corrupting the political system in America when you have creeps like this pouring cash into campaigns for their own self serving reasons.

The rats are jumping from the sinking ship.  More of Michele ( Where did everybody go?) Bachmann’s staff has hit the door as her gaffe-riddled wacko presidential campaign limps down the road toward oblivion.  


Texas Governor Rick (I’m ambidextrous. I can piss off both the Right and the Left) Perry’s campaign seems to be picking up momentum.  Of course things always go faster downhill.
 

Willard (Why do you think I go by Mitt) Romney is pretty much holding his own right now.  I get that, I mean who else would want to hold it.


Harold (Who said pizza and politics don’t mix) Cain seems to be gaining some support.  I think his new slogan “A pizza in every pot” or is it “Pot in every pizza” is starting to get some attention. 



 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Bigger Is Not Always Better

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 Well it seems the Republicans are starting to see that their latest political star, Rick ( I’m a dimwit, not a debater) Perry is turning into a shooting star and is already starting to fade.  Now all they can talk about is getting Corporate Chris (I’m a true American because I love apple pie, I mean I REALLY love apple pie, in fact I love all kinds of pie) Christie into the race.  I guess they want to get a real heavyweight into the fight.
I did a little research on the big man:

•    In 1998 Christie was registered as a lobbyist for the energy industry.

•    In 2001, controversy surrounded his appointment; to be the U.S. Attorney for the District of New Jersey because of Christie's lack of criminal law experience and his history as a top fundraiser for George W. Bush's 2000 presidential campaign

•    Christie's law partner, William Palatucci, a Republican political consultant and Bush supporter, boasted that he had selected a United States attorney by forwarding Christie's résumé to Karl Rove.

•    He is a relative of  Tino Fiumara, a New Jersey mobster known as “The Greek”

•    Christie has also been accused of using his office's role in crafting deferred prosecution agreements to award lucrative federal monitoring positions in no-bid contracts to friends, supporters, and allies.

•    A poll July 2011, showed 55% of New Jersey voters felt the state was moving "on the wrong track",

In other words, ole Corporate Chris is just an overweight Rick Perry.

Andy Rooney is exiting 60 Minutes this Sunday.  He said things still pissed him off but that he was just too old to care.





 Stay tuned for future adventures

What The Hell Did He Say?

I remember when George W. Bush first announced that he was going to run for President, a lot people here in Texas said, “All hat and no cattle,” and we know what kind of disaster that turned out to be. Now that Rick (If you thought “W” screwed up the country, wait til you get a load of me) Perry is running, this is what a lot of people here in Texas are saying. “Hell he doesn’t even have a hat.”

I came across this video of Governor Perry on Harold Cook’s blog, Letters From Texas and had to share it with you. It could be Slick Rick's best speech to date.

Michigan Congressman Thaddeus McCotter (R) has dropped out of the presidential race and will endorse Mitt Romney. The main reason he dropped out is that no one knew he had dropped In to the presidential race.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flipant Friday

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Today is the first day of fall and the leaves are already beginning to turn…That’s a laugh, not that it is the first day of fall, the bit about the leaves turning colors.  There are no leaves.  It has been so hot in Texas this summer that the leaves turned brown back in July and by August they had mostly fallen off.  The grass is dead and so are a lot of the trees and shrubbery.   The only things in Texas that is turning today is the air conditioner up and the water hose on.

However, on this Friday the 23rd of September there is something about to fall for the first time and unfortunately it is not rain drops.  The 6.5 ton satellite known as UARS is going to fall out of the sky sometime today.  It is about the size of a school bus and NASA is not sure where it is going to come down. So if you plan on being outside today, you might want to wear a hard hat.

Facebook has had more face lifts than Joan Rivers with about the same results.  A little scarier each time.

Last night's Republican debate was a real slug fest.  By slug, I mean those slimy creepy crawly things. It was an hour an half of Romney and Perry standing toe to toe saying, “Did not..did too, did not, did too,” while the six other little boys and one little girl stood around with their hands in their pockets not making eye contact.

Republicans hate paying taxes so much that one would think that Al Capone founded their party.

A pick-up truck crashed into a Whataburger in Pasadena today.  I don’t why people are upset. There was a large sign out front that clearly said, “Drive-In Window.”

It looks like the AT&T and T-Mobile merger may not go through.  A spokesman said they are trying to work out the details.  He said they have all of the I’s dotted but there may be too many T’s to cross.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Tea Partier Does His Civic Duty

TweetHi to my readers. This is Rod and I have a guest filling in for me today.  Please welcome Walter.

Howdy, my name is Walter and I was called to jury duty last week.  It was quite exciting. I told them I was a true blue self-righteous Christian conservative far right wing-nut tea party patriot and by God I was there to do some serious judging or if they just needed a little severe criticisms doled out, I could handle that too.

 I also told them if there was a death penalty involved I was all for it just as long as it was some poor ignorant man woman or child. String em up, hang em high and let em die I always say.  Now if it was an unborn baby, whoa buddy, that is a whole different story.  I sure as hell don’t go for that shit, but once the little pecker head popped his or her noggin out of the womb, they are on their own

I told them that executions were confirmed in the Bible’s death panels, right there in the chapter by Mark or Luke or uh John…or might have been Paul or George and Ringo….anyway it was right there in black and white on page 16, “ an eye for eye” …and that sure as hell don’t mean “Here’s lookin’ at ya.”  No siree bob, that means you gonna die sucker.  Hey killin’s okay as long as you do it in God’s name.

Then I sang em’ the National Anthem just to show that I knew all of the words…or most of them anyway.  But as luck would have it, they said they didn’t have any sudden death cases on the docket and pointed me toward the door saying that I might check with Judge Judy. They said that she could use my help.

I never could find Judge Judy’s courtroom, so I took my self-serving, judgmental, narrow-minded ass home proud that once again I had served my country well and hadn’t even broken a sweat.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Of Sarah Palin Revealed

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 A new book out about Sarah ( Half-assed Governor of Alaska) Palin says she had a one night stand with a former NBA player, slept with her husband’s business partner and isn’t a good mom. I find it really hard to believe that Sarah is not a good mom. I have always referred to her as some kind of mother. 

A Colorado cat missing 5 years was found wondering the streets of New York City.  Sadly it’s just another tragic story in the sleazy underworld of catnip addiction.

The postal service is announcing “A new reality”…slower mail service.  Christmas packages need to be mailed by this weekend.

Michele ( I can't be bought, but I can be leased for four years) Bachmann is out to get the endorsement of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the self-proclaimed toughest sheriff in America whose uncompromising stand on illegal immigration is a point of pride.  Word is that the sheriff hasn’t made a decision yet.  He said he is still checking her papers.

News sources are reporting that a rogue trader at the USB-AG Bank of Geneva has lost two billion.  I wonder if they have looked under the couch cushions or in the dirty laundry hamper.  I know that’s where I find a lot of stuff that’s gone missing.

Texas Governor Rick (I am pretty sure I believe in something, I just don’t know what) Perry’s Foreign Policy seems to be as foreign to him as everyone else.  In the last two debates he has revealed a Foreign Policy that is inconsistent, muddled, and sometimes contradictory.  Come to think of it, that is pretty much the way his governorship of the state has been.

Slick Rick also revealed a new campaign slogan today.  It is much more aggressive:

 Stay tuned for future adventures.