Thursday, September 29, 2016

Observations From My Soapbox



Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump definitely had a microphone problem during Monday night’s debate.  It was on. 



I found this rambling rant from a Trump supporter imbecile on Facebook. 


In defense of Donald Trump : Try to keep this in mind, Donald Trump did not steal your money. Donald Trump did not raise your taxes. Donald Trump did not quadruple the price of food. Trump is not stirring a race war. Trump did not leave any US soldiers in Benghazi to be slaughtered and desecrated by Muslims.

Trump did not send the US Navy to fight for Syrian Al-Qaeda. Trump did not arm ISIS and systematically exterminate Christians throughout the Middle East. Trump did not betray Israel. Trump did not provide financing and technology to Iran's nuclear weapons program. Trump did not give our military secrets to China.

Trump did not remove our nuclear missile shield in Poland at the behest of Russia. Trump did not shrivel our military, and betray our veterans. Trump did not cripple our economy. Trump did not increase our debt to 20 trillion dollars. Trump did not ruin our credit, twice. Trump did not double African American unemployment. Trump did not increase welfare to a record level for eight years. Trump did not sign a law making it legal to execute, and imprison Americans.

Trump did not set free all of terrorists in Guantanamo bay. Trump did not steal your rights, violate US Constitutional law, or commit treason, hundreds of times. Yet Trump is being ripped apart in the news, non stop. Barrack Hussein Obama, Hillary Clinton and the criminals occupying our government, are not. The media is the Democratic Party. Save our culture. Stop listening to them.


Once I stopped laughing I realized how incredibly stupid this piece of shit was.  First thing I noticed was that they didn’t add that Trump didn’t release his tax returns since they were so into the things he didn’t do.  They could have also added that Trump didn’t cause cancer or that Trump didn’t shoot those children at Sandy Hook which would have made about as much sense as the rest of this crap. 

This is the ole “bait & switch” bullshit.  Let’s talk about the things that Trump didn’t do so we won’t talk about the things that he did.  What he didn’t do is irrelevant.  You could fill a library with crap he didn’t do.
The reason the media and the majority of Americans don’t like him is what he did do. 

Trump has made racist and derogatory remarks about Muslims, African-Americans, and Hispanics for months.  Trump has made many, many insulting misogynistic remarks about women.
Trump has conned thousands of people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with Trump University.  Trump has failed to pay many, many people who have worked on his projects. Trump has used money from the Trump Foundation, a so called charity, for his own personal use.

Trump has continually lied at every press conference and debate since day one. Politifact research says that Trump lies 91% of the time. Trump makes Richard Nixon look Gandhi. This week we have learned that Trump did business with Cuba when it was illegal to do so.

The bottom line is that there is no defense for Trump. He is a certified con man.  The really sad part is the racist, misogynistic, homophobic assholes that support him.  


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

What Debate?




Well you can add another name to “The Clinton Body Count,” because Hillary absolutely buried Trump last night.  It was quite entertaining watching Trumpy Poo turn into a ranting incoherent buffoon on national TV.  


It is very clear that Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump is running for C.E.O. King of America. According to The Don, his first day in office he would fire Congress (all those terrible politicians that have ruined America) and replace them with his staff from The Apprentice to do the paper work while he was rewriting all of the laws, rules and regulations for Americans to live by.  

I can see why Trump is making his move to be Dictator of America because he spent most of the night trying to convince everyone that America is a Third-World country.

Trump was adamant about being against the war in Iraq, even though he is on record saying he was for it.  I find it odd that the only person Trump ever told that he was against the war was Sean (Total Asshole & Proud Of It) Hannity.  I mean why would anyone tell Sean anything?

Texas Lt. Governor Dan (Obsessed With The Ladies Bathroom) Patrick told every one this week that his number priority in this year's legislature is to keep boys out of girls bathrooms. I believe there has almost been as many of these incidents happening as voter fraud.  Last count was zero. 


I have said for many years that I think Wolf (Real Name, Dodo Bird) Blitzer is the most useless newsman in the entire world, but now I believe he does have an equal in Chuck (My Last Job Was A Reporter For The Weekly Reader) Todd.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Just Another Friday




This is Paula (Heaven Is Just A Kiss Away) White.  She is Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump’s “religious counselor.”  Evidently she is really good because Donald’s staff reports that every time she meets with The Don behind closed doors; he is heard shouting “Oh God, Oh God” a lot.  Thanks to my number one investigator Snoop Dawg Doyle for digging up this little gem of info.





And this is Kathy (I Am Beyond Stupid) Miller who was the campaign chairman in Mahoning county Ohio for the Trump fiasco.  Kooky Kathy told a reporter this week, “I don’t think there was any racism until Obama got elected”.  When she was asked about the Civil Rights movement or segregation she replied, “I never experienced it. I never saw that as anything.”  Evidently when KKK Kathy was born hatched; they immediately put a sheet over her head, but forgot to cut eye holes in it.  Kathy resigned right after she got her foot out of her mouth.


Former corrupt Loudmouth of the House Tom (Someone Put Me Out Of My Misery Without) DeLay is pimping for Jesus. Yes it seems he is now a preacher for hire.  Can you imagine how desperate a congregation would have to be to hire this asshole to come preach?


Just a thought, but should we be putting Melania (I’m With Stupid) Trump’s picture on milk cartons?


Yahoo says that some one hacked into about 200,000 of their users accounts.  Wow, I thought Yahoo went out of business in the 60’s.  Maybe I'm thinking of Parcheesi.



Odd, but I can’t hear this guy now.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Hump Day Blah Blahs




I wonder how many unarmed people the police are going to have to shoot before things change?  Of course I have the feeling that if they were to begin shooting unarmed white people, it might change a little faster.


Hump of the week is Milwaukee county Sheriff David (Lock-em-up,Throw-away-the key) Clarke. Big time Trump supporter imbecile and Faux News go-to-guy Clarke had a prisoner die this week while incarcerated in jail.  The prisoner died of thirst.  That’s right they cut off the water to his cell and he died of dehydration.  10 inmates have died at the Sheriff’s jail between 2008 and 2012.  Now there is some top notch police work.  

Not to be upstaged by Cold Bloodied Killer Clarke, Arizona Sheriff Joe (World’s Toughest Dumbest Sheriff) Arpaio said yesterday that he is still investigating President Obama”s birth certificate.  I am beginning to believe that the “Police Academy” movies were actually documentaries.  


Willie (That’s Where The Money Is) Sutton’s reign as the world’s most famous bank robber is over.  He has been replaced by Wells Fargo CEO John (I’m In The Money) Stumpf.  Jerky John was paid a little over $19 million dollars last year to rip off his customers. Now that’s good work if you can get it.


Donald (Little DICK-tator) Hump said today that he couldn’t understand why everyone is so upset with him using the money from the Trump Foundation for his personal use. He went on to say the Trump Foundation has always had a personal money back guarantee. It says right there in black and white that anytime that he was tired of your money he would  give it back.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Monday Deja Vu




I was reading an article recently about Trump supporters imbeciles deplorables who like Trump because they are angry with politicians and government. These boneheads are simply Tea Party goobers who have disintegrated back into the one-cell amoeba’s they are today.  Here is a post that I wrote 6 years ago about them.  


Tea Party Makes For Strange Bed Wetters

I have written before that I don’t like politics and I absolutely loath politicians but I always vote.  First of all, you don’t get to bitch about the asshole who won if you don’t vote and you never know when your vote might be the one that makes a difference or in my case, the seven or eight votes.  I like to vote often.

This year with the emergence of the Tea Party, I think politics has taken even a turn for the worse.  The Tea Party or Kooks Galore as I like to think of them has taken it up a notch or two.  They have no platform, just an array of positions ranging from sealing off the borders, abolishing the Federal Reserve, closing a number of other Federal agencies and preserving the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy to mention a few.

Most of the candidates are walking contradictions.  One candidate who is a doctor says Medicare is boondoggle that is unsustainable, even though half of his reported income comes from Medicare and Medicade payments. He also is for eliminating farm subsides even though his family has collected over 3 billion dollars from the government in farm subsides since 1995.  Then there is the candidate who says social security is unconstitutional.  Obviously he has no intentions of ever retiring….from politics.

One of the things I would like to ask these people who rant and rave about Medicare, Social Security, Wellfare and Food Stamps is do they think if the government stopped all of those programs that they would get any money back or get their taxes cut.  I don’t think so.  Yes there is abuse in all of those programs, but they also help millions of good people who would otherwise have no help at all.

Another prominent politician in the Tea Party, Senator Jim DeMint from South Carolina, says that governmental gridlock is the best thing that could happen to big business.  I can see where he is a big help to the country.  Christine O’Donnell, the Tea Party candidate who can’t make up her mind if she is a witch or not, didn’t know that the separation of church and state was in the first amendment.  She also has admitted she didn’t go to Oxford but actually graduated from Hogwarts.

Of course their lead spokesman is Glen Beck who is possibly the biggest dry drunk I’ve ever seen.  If you are not familiar with the term, it is someone who still has a very destructive personality in terms of being, mean, untruthful, devious, and extremely self-centered; he just does it sober.  Yeah, there’s a spokesman to be proud of.

Most of these wackos are from the Republican side of the political world and they are just so mad and angry at the government that they can hardly stand it.  What I want to know is, where in the hell were they a few years ago when the Republicans, who were in power, were spending money faster than it could be printed, starting wars, and running the economy into the ground?  Why weren’t you pissed off then?  George W. Bush started the first bail-out to the Wall St. banks.  Obviously, the Tea Party folks have a severe case of selective amnesia.

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty to bitch about the way government does things.  It has been that way for a while and it is from both sides of the aisle.  The real deal is that there is actually only one BIG party.  The Republicans are on one end and the Democrats are on the other.  Their agenda is not for the good of the country, it is for the good of their political party and to keep getting re-elected.

Hey, I’m all for a third political party emerging, but I would like it to be the American party with an agenda that is geared for and befitting the American people…..All of the American people.



To all Republicans.  Obama hasn’t started a war…..So shut the fuck up.

To all Democrats.    For God sakes, get rid of Nancy Pelosi.

To the Tea Party.      Get a life….

To all Independents…  Get out and vote…..

To all people who vote a straight party ticket.    Please stay home, you are either too stupid or too lazy to figure out who the best candidate is.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Liar Education



I did a little research and found the curriculum for Trump University.  



Business:   How to file for Chapter 11
The Three B’s of business: Bullshit, Bribes and Blackmail
General and Advanced Ponzi Schemes.
How to keep two sets of books.
Over billing and other shady accounting tactics
House flipping 101
Setting up fake foundations
Creditor avoidance 

Drama:       Learn how to fake sincerity.
                   Perfecting 50 shades of lying

Sports:        Learn how to set odds
                   How to make book

Science:      How to avoid EPA rules and laws
                                    
They don’t offer Minors or Majors.  You choose between taking the Short Con or the Long Con.

So far the only people to have benefited financially from Trump University are Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump, Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott and Florida Attorney General Pam (Take The Money And Run) Bondi.   


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Hump Day News




In health care news, Hillary (I’m With Me) Clinton has Walking Pneumonia and Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump has a version of Mad Cow disease.  It’s called Bullshititis.  One is treatable and the other is incurable.

This week at a Trump rally a Trump supporter imbecile deplorable punched a 69 year old woman in the face and she fell on her oxygen tank and injured her ribs.  When asked why he hit the woman, he said, “Well I could tell she was pretty old, but when I saw she was on oxygen, I knew I could take her.”

On Dancing With The Stars Some People You Might Have Heard Of this week, former Texas Governor Rick (Two Right Feet) Perry said he didn’t do well because he was attempting a dance that was a little more involved than the “Texas Two Step”, but he couldn’t remember the third step.  Ricky Poo said he would do better next week because he was planning to veto the judge’s scores.


Also on the show, two anti-Ryan (My Favorite Is The Breast Stroke) Lochte demonstrators rushed the stage and was subdued by security people without incident.  After the show, Olympic swimmer Lying Ryan told reporters that he and his partner were robbed and beaten at gun point and feared for their lives. When asked if he was over exaggerating, he said maybe a little because he was too drunk to remember everything.





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Monday Soap Box









Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump has finally revealed his plan for putting ISIS out of business. He is going to buy them. 




I think it is time we impeached Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott.  I have noticed that he NEVER stands up during the National Anthem. 

Of course Texas is not the only state to have an ASSHOLE for Governor.  Kentucky has Matt (I Have God On Speed Dial) Bevin who told the boneheads attending the Value Voters Summit this past week-end that liberals were un-American for preventing conservative “Christians” from declaring America a Christian nation and instituting the Bible as the law of the land in place of the Constitution”.


Golly I wonder where Hillary came up with “basket of deplorables”
.


Speaking of Hillary, did you notice how she got Republicans to talk about women’s health care in one day?





Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Friday Fun Facts






Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump says that he got the endorsements of 88 military leaders and veterans this week. I decided to do a little checking and see who these people are and found this.

11 bell ringers with the Salvation Army
6 sales clerks at Old Navy
12 veterans of the War on Drugs.
7 volunteers from Arnold Palmer’s Arnie’s Army in the sixties.
14 Montana Minute Men
9 veterans from the Cup Cake Wars on the Food Channel
13 people who worked for General Motors
16 members of the G.I. Joe fan club


When Libertarian candidate for President of the United States Gary (Every Man For Himself) Johnson was asked for his opinion on Aleppo he said that he never used it. He went on to say that his dogs preferred Purina.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert said today that Hillary was “mentally impaired.”  This from a man whose I.Q. and age or the same number.  







Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Harrumping Day





Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump was out pandering for black votes this week.  He attended a black church in Detroit where he told everyone he was born a poor black child, but through hard work and his daddy’s money he finally became white…or actually orange.  Trumpy-Poo was out pandering because recent polls showed that he was getting 1% of the black vote.  This is not true as he was really only getting one single black vote: that of Bill (Here Sweetie, Have A Drink) Cosby.  Cos said he had nailed a few women in his time, but this guy was screwing the whole country.

Olympic swimmer Lying Ryan (Breast Stroke Is My Favorite) Lochte is going to be on Dancing With The Stars Some People You Might Have Heard Of.  Ryan said he is going to do the Brazilian version of the Hokey Pokey for everyone. “You put your left leg up. Then you put your right leg down. Then you haul ass and get out of town.”


Former Faux News host Gretchen (I’m In The Money Now) Carlson has settled her sexual harassment suit against Roger (I’m A Touchy Feely Kinda Of Boss) Ailes for $20 million dollars. Gretchen told reporters that now that it is over, all she wants to do is go home and count her money and count her money and count her money and count her money.


The world is a better place today. Phyllis (Stepford Wife Extraordinaire ) Schlafly is no longer breathing air. She has finally crawled back under her rock for good. She can annoy everyone in the afterlife.






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Stay tuned for future adventures.