A Fats Domino Day

I just saw where Gregg (Hell on Wheels) Abbott, who would like to be the next Governor, King of Texas, attended the Koch Brothers annual summit meeting in New Mexico.  I guess he was out there getting his marching orders and talking points together for the big run.  I understand the motto for his campaign is “Give em’ the Puppy Eyes but Lie Like a Dog.”

I guess we are the lucky ones.  It looks like little Teddy (LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME) Cruz is gearing up for a run at being President of the United States instead of Prime Minister of Canada.  Not only does little Teddy have a dual personality, Joe (I’m Making List and Checking Twice) McCarthy and Richard (I’m Not a Crook, I’m Just Stupid) Nixon, he has dual citizenship with Canada. He has an attorney checking into having his Canadian roots extracted. 

The holidays are rougher on some folks than others. A man in Illinois shot his CEO and then himself during a job review.  The local sheriff said,"All we know is something went wrong in the performance evaluation."  You think….?

I see where the A&E channel is reinstating Daffy Duck Dynasty leader Phil (I Think Ducks Are Gay, That’s Why I Kill Them) Robertson.  Evidently A&E stands for Assholes & Extremist. I wonder why Phil's brother Pat never has him as a guest on the 700 Club?  They sure think alike.

The Republicans rail on and on about government subsidies for the poor but then turn into Helen Keller when it comes to how much big business gets from the Government. A Bloomberg report has calculated that the top 10 US banks receive $83 billion a year in subsidies from the government and a NYT analysis of a Johnson Associates survey found that the top eight US banks set aside $91.44 billion for bonuses in 2013.  How big was your bonus this year?


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Under The Weather

Hope everyone has had a good holiday.  It has been pretty sickly around here so another name change for a while. Sleepstilwell. 


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Happy Holidays

Boy it didn’t take long for the right wing-nut Christian conservative hypocrisy machine to come out swinging after ole Daffy Duck Dynasty leader Phil (Duck Dick Head) Robertson shot himself in the foot during an interview with GQ magazine.  They immediately went for the free speech angle. First of all I don’t think anyone tried to stop ole Phil from saying something stupid, so you can take your free speech bullshit and stick it. He has every right to say whatever dumb thing he wants to say, but it comes with a lot of consequences.

The first thing the Christian wackos ought to look at is that half of the crap ole Phil spouted is not in the bible. It was stupid stuff that originated in his tiny little bigoted brain.  I am pretty sure most of the right wing-nuts working the free speech thing didn’t take that angle with The Dixie Chicks.  Of course if I want to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, that’s not free speech, it’s blaspheme. 

The righteous ones always want to have it both ways.  After all, that’s one of the main tenets of Christianity.  If Christians say something that is offensive it’s ok, but if someone else says that person is offensive, it’s not ok.  If your ass gets saved, it’s because God saved you.  If your ass doesn’t get saved, it’s God’s will. Seems to me it’s kinda of a win-win deal for God.

It is pretty amazing to see all of the hate filled rants and death threats that are coming out of those Jesus loves you Christians.  All of this over a dumb tv show that is totally meaningless to anything in the world.  It is a half-hour of dumb rednecks with ZZ Top beards sitting around saying stupid things. This little episode is just reinforces my belief that religion is one of man’s most destructive inventions.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

All Goober, All The Time

Congressmoron Steve (I Could Be the Dumbest Person in Texas) Stockman has decided to run against incumbent Texas Senaterrible John (I’m So Conservative That I Even Hate Myself) Cornyn. Here is the really good part. Little Stevie wants John’s seat because he thinks Johnny is not conservative enough.  I’m still laughing. Cornyn makes Attila the Hun look like Mother Teresa.

The Houston Chronicle has been running a series of articles on Steve that names him as the defendant in multiple lawsuits. They also say he is associated with a number of different businesses that seem to exist only on paper.  Mr. Stockman is a better con man than Congressman.

It will be interesting to see how Steve fairs in a statewide election. The results of a recent survey in his district show that the only people who recognized his name were defense lawyers and debt collectors.

I’m sure Steve will be calling on his good buddy, draft dodger and washed-up rocker, Ted (My Gun Is a 45 and so Is My I.Q.) Nugent, to help him campaign. Both of these boneheads are transplanted Yankees from Michigan.  I think we should have extradition laws for situations like this.  I understand Steve’s high school class in Royal Oak, Michigan voted him most likely to be the most embarrassing person in their school history

The delegation that President Obama is sending to the Olympics in Russia is made up of Billie Jean King and another gay athlete.  Russian President Vladimir Putin-on-a-Show should get a big kick out of this. Mr. Putin, by the way, was quite well known before becoming the President of Russia.  I’m sure you remember his big hit in the 90’s, “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” 

This bonehead is so far in the closet, he probably knows the White Witch of Narnia personally. 

I understand A&E network is considering a name change for their number one show to "Daffy Duck Dynasty."


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Holiday Tidbits

I really don’t get why the Christian conservatives are so upset with what they are calling the” War on Christmas.”  If the so called “War on Christmas” goes anything like the “War on Drugs.” Or “War on Poverty,” they have absolutely nothing to worry about.  Christmas seems to be bigger and better than ever if you go by the retail ads and Christmas decorations.   Mostly I think they just need something to bitch about.  I think maybe we should have a Season for Reason.

Actually I think all of this inane non-stop media crap began with the advent of 24 hour news channels.  The problem being there just isn’t 24 hours of news to report so they had to come up with something to talk about. So every little difference of opinion suddenly became news. What a waste of time and energy.

Speaking of news I just read where the author of the Anarchist Cookbook is saying to take his book out of print. It has supposedly sold more than two million copies. I am stunned. I have never heard of it and I watch the Food Channel all the time.

Boy, are blowhard Bill (I Am Not the Smartest Guy in the Room Even When I Am Alone) O’Really and Faux News bimbo Megyn (I Can’t Even Spell My Name) Kelly going to be pissed when they hear about this.  The Hilton Americas hotel in Houston has created a sculpture of Santa Claus for their lobby.  It was made completely out of a half-ton of DARK CHOCOLATE.

Harold (Hey, How About this Date?) Camping, the wacko preacher who kept predicting when the world would end has died.  Bummer, now we’ll never know when the world will end.  




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Lone Star Malaise

Lone Star malaise is a condition brought on by the combination of the Cowboys in Dallas, the Texans in Houston and the Politicians in Austin.

The Dallas Cowboys have the worse defense in the NFL and can’t stop anybody from scoring touchdowns.
The Houston Texans have the best defense in the NFL and can’t stop anybody from scoring touchdowns.
Texas has the worse politicians in the country and they keep winning elections.

Here we are wrapping up 2013 and all four of the Republican candidates for Lt. Governor of Texas would like for us to go back to 1713.  Dan (I Was a Sports Nut, but Now I’m a Religious Nut) Patrick, Jerry (I Have a Gun in My Boot and a Stick Up My Ass) Patterson, David (Double Dumb) Dewhurst and Todd (I Don’t Have a Clue) Staples all support the teaching of Creationism in public schools.  Creationism is a religious belief that was dreamed up in 1713 and three hundred years later still has zero scientific data to back it up.  If someone wants to brainwash their child at home with this crap, that is one thing; to teach it in public school is another.  I understand that all four also believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and trickle-down economics.

                                   This is the bonehead who wants to replace this bonehead.

Here are a few things that Gregg (Hell on Wheels) Abbott has done or supported this past year.
•    Turned a blind eye to cronyism allowing millions of dollars for cancer research to be misused
•    Threatened international election observers with arrest and prosecution
•    Supported new restrictive abortion laws and vowed to defend them in court
•    Opposed Medicaid expansion that would have provided health care to 1.4 million Texans
•    Defended the GOP's $5 billion cuts in Texas public school funding
•    Accepted an award from a bigot Dave Welch
•    Claimed "nobody in the state of Texas has done more to fight to help women than I have"
•    Thanked a supporter who called Senator Wendy Davis "retard barbie"
•    Claimed "no problems" caused by Voter ID in the 2013 election - when in fact there were many

Voting for this asshole is simply injecting more poison into the system. Voting for this lady is the antidote. .

Stay tuned for future adventures.

GOP...Gang of Pessimist

It is amazing how some people can be on the wrong side of every issue, every time, every day.  I am talking about Tea Bonehead Republicans.  Congress has actually come up with a budget deal and guess who is bitching and moaning about it? The Catholic Church has finally come up with a Pope who is trying to actually do the right thing and guess who has a negative opinion of him?  No matter what the question is or what the solution might be, they have one answer. NO, WE DON’T LIKE IT.  They never have an alternative solution, plan or answer, they just say no. They are self-centered obstructionist narrow-minded assholes and have the honor of being the most do-nothing Congress in history.  

Oh wait, they did do something. The Republicans in the Senate stayed up all night talking about nothing, do nothing and accomplishing nothing just to show the world that they were upset about the nuclear option that the Senate enacted recently. They were going to hold their breath until they turned blue but opted for a slumber party instead.


Congressmoron Loonie Louie (Single Digit I.Q.) Gohmert is at again. He got up on the floor of Congress and said that the reason we were having hurricanes and terrible weather conditions is because we don’t have the protection of God anymore. He says God is mad that we allow abortions. Hmmm, so God kills innocent women and children with hurricanes and such because we allow abortions. That Louie, he is a smart one isn’t he. I understand his high school class back in Mount Pleasant, Tx voted him most likely to say something really stupid.

Then there is the unemployed Presidential wantabe Rick (I Should Be In A) Santorum who was praising Nelson Mandela this week and tried to equate Obamacare with Apartheid. Wow, another real genius. I hear his high school class back in Mundelein, Ill voted him most likely to say something really offensive.


How about the World’s Grumpiest Old Man John (I Left My Brains in Vietnam) McCain who was upset that President Obama shook hands with Roul Castro.  This from the asshole who had his smiling picture made with terrorist in Libya.  His high school class in Alexandria, Va voted him most likely to say things that were totally irrelevant to anything.



I always thought Oklahoma’s motto, which they have on their license plates, was kinda dumb.  It is Oklahoma is OK.  Not Oklahoma is Great or Oklahoma is Super or Fantastic.  Well now I get it. It stands for Only Kooks. It seems that in their great wisdom the Oklahoma Republican controlled legislature passed a law allowing for religious monuments to be allowed on the Capitol grounds.  What they had in mind was putting up a monument of the Ten Commanments, but some folks beat them to the punch. A Satanist organization and the Hindus have applied for permits which have greatly upset all those fine intolerant Christians up there.  I am still laughing.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Light My Fire

I’m in deep trouble.  Oh it’s not that there aren’t any dumbass Tea Party politicians to talk about.  They are still spewing stupid hateful things by the mouthful.  Here is my problem, we are ten days away from the start of winter and I am already sick and tired of the cold. I guess I’m going to have to go into hibernation. Just go to bed and not get up until spring.  Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe bears have the right idea after all. I mean, I do like to sleep. I have all of my life.

A number of people have asked me in the last couple of years if I really do sleep til noon?  The answer is yes, quite a bit in fact. I have always been a night owl and I like to sleep late.  This of course has not always been something I have gotten to do as much as I would like but I will have to say I have always been fortunate to get in quite a lot more zzz’s than most folks.

Most of the things I have done through the years to make a living, I have been able to do on my schedule.  Thank God I have had very few 9 to 5 jobs in my working career. Even in my days in radio when I was doing the morning show, half the time I hadn’t gone to bed before going on the air and then would go home after the show and sleep all day. Most of my time spent in the music biz was in the night time hours.

But back to this cold weather stuff.  Mother Nature has drug her cold front through town way to early and stayed beyond her welcome.  When it gets below 70 I’m looking for a sweater.  So if you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because I’m changing the name to sleepstilspring.  



Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Pinocchio Party

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Integrity) Perry hates ObamaCare so much he is costing the state of Texas about 7 billion (Yes, BILLION) dollars in federal money and health care for about 1.5 million people.  It seems Ricky Poo has decided rather than “serve the people,” he had rather “screw the people.”


The Tea Party folks ripped the sheet off their heads today and really showed their ass.  It seems that their leader Madhatter Teddy (I Have a Great Health Care Plan) Cruz posted praise about Nelson Mandela on his face book page and his supporters came unwound. They seemed to have forgotten their holier than thou Christian façade and spewed some really racist stuff on little Teddy.  

Senate Minority leader Mich (Who Does Nothing but Bitch) McConnell is still claiming that Obamacare is not working and is a catastrophic failure should check with some of the people from his state of Kentucky before shooting off his mouth.  Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear made a trip to Washington D.C. and told congress that it is working in Kentucky and the people think it is great.  He went on to say that it will generate over $15 billion dollars for Kentucky’s economy and create 17,000 new jobs.




Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Harrrump Day

We’ve made it through Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday and now we are at Worried Wednesday as in What the hell was I thinking.  Tuesday you were adding up the hundreds of dollars that you saved on your shopping spree and today you are adding up the thousands of dollars you would still have if you had just stayed home over the weekend and unplugged your computer on Monday.

But hey it’s the reason for the season. To really show someone how much you love them, you need to give really expensive gifts or at least gifts you can’t afford. It's right there in the Good Book. I’m talking about the retailers manual of course.  The absolute best way to show your love is to use a taser gun on someone to get that big screen TV you wanted and have the video run on national TV.

Wisconsin Governor Republican Scott ( Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie)  Walker has jumped into the season of giving with both feet.  Ole Scotty asked that his constituents stay home on Black Friday and instead give him money for his reelection. Those snotty nosed kids don’t need more toys; they need a Governor they can play with.

Speaking of kids and Governors, Maine Republican Governor Paul (Mr. Bounderby of Dickens Fame) LePage wants to loosen up the child labor laws.  He thinks 12 year olds should be in the work place. I had no idea there was a shortage of labor in the Maine sweatshops.

If your are in need of a good laugh, I suggest you read some of the reviews on Amazon of Sarah (Half-Assed Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin’s latest ghostwritten book, Good Tidings and Great Joy. 




Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Sound of Music

The holidaze is here.  You can see it in the glassy eyed look in people’s eyes. The sticker shocked expression on their faces and the nervous twitchy fingers from pulling out their credit cards multiple times a day.  Yes the season is in full bloom with 24 hours a day of Christmas music. 

The top selling Christmas album of the past ten years is by Kenny G.  No wonder I’m so depressed at this time of year. I am always stunned that the music business has only figured out how to capitalize on one holiday of the year……Christmas. 

There are lots of other holidays through out the year and I would have thought that some greedy, fast-talking record sleazebag would have come up with a way to sell more crappy music to the masses by now.  Of course most of the big record labels are still trying to understand that new fangled technology known as the internet. A lot of the boneheads who run the music business are still listening to 8-track tapes if that gives you any indications of just how creative they are.  

Anyway after many hours of research I have compiled a list of songs for every holiday.  As you can see Christmas is the champ.

New Years……….  1 song…   One Kiss Led To Another

Valentine Day  ….1 song…   Roses Are Red

St. Patricks Day… 3 songs   There’s A Tear In My Beer…. Beer Drinkin’ Song…  Pop A Top

Memorial Day……. 1 song….  War (What’s It Good For)

Fourth Of July……. 1 song….  Born In The U.S.A

Labor Day………….. 1 song….  Having My Baby

Halloween………….. 1 song….  Monster Mash

Thanksgiving……….1 song…  Thank God and Greyhound, She’s Gone.

Christmas…………….15 songs an hour, 24 hours of the day, for 45 days on every radio station and every mall or store in the USA.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

 Stay tuned for future adventures.