Showing posts with label Rafel Cruz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rafel Cruz. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Mid-Week Headlines

It is pretty obvious that Kentucky Senaterrible Rand (Why Do You Think They Invented the Copy Machine) Paul has never had an original thought as he has been caught plagiarizing someone else words for the second time.



Here are some very intelligent words from down under. Former Labor foreign minister of Australia, Bob Carr said during a recent interview how much he liked Fox News. He said,   
"I am delighted because it is a textbook experiment in how to make the Republican Party unelectable. If you are running as a candidate for the Republicans, you must do Fox News and you must pander to the table thumpers. By the time the general election comes around the candidate is too right wing to get elected. I think it is delightful.”  
As Crocodile Dundee would say, “That’s a knife.”



Litte Teddy’s Pa, Rafel (Rhymes with Fidel) Cruz is back at it again proving that the banana doesn’t fall far from the tree.  During a presentation he made to the Dean Bible Ministries he told them what he thinks of evolution.  He said, "That’s why communism and evolution go hand and hand. Evolution is one of the strongest tools of Marxism because if they can convince you that you came from a monkey, it’s much easier to convince you that God does not exist.” Rafel doesn’t seem to realize that sometimes evolution is slower in some than others.  Obviously he hasn’t made it though the monkey stage yet.



Pope Frankie the Sissy is launching a new survey on his flock asking them their opinions on same sex marriage.  Here is my prediction, if the majority says its ok; you will see a flock of marriages among Priests. 



Houston Texans football stars were out yesterday driving senior citizens to the polling booths as opposed to Attorney General Greg (I Want to Make Sure Only My Friends Can Vote) Abbott who has been doing his best to drive senior citizens away from the polls.



Pop star Justin (Just Because I Can Sing Doesn’t Mean I Have Any Brain Cells) Bieber must have looked thirsty during his concert in Sao Paulo, Brazil this week because someone hit him in the head with a water bottle. Justin stuck out his lip and walked off stage without even thanking the person who generously shared his water bottle with him.





 Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday, October 28, 2013

New Species: KochRoaches

If you were wondering why the Kochsuckers in Washington have been pushing so hard for the Keystone pipeline?  A new report shows that the Koch Brothers stand to make around 100 million dollars from it.


As I have said before the Tea Party bonehead members of Congress are now referred to in my brain as Kochsuckers because the whole idea for the tea party and support has been funded by the Koch Brothers.  So all those Tea Party morons are beholding to the Koch Brothers, as in be holding the Koch Brothers money in their bank accounts. The Koch Brothers spent a little over 2 million lobbying the Kochsuckers to shut down the government which the Kochsuckers did with glee and then scurried back into the dark.

So their leader, former ambulance chaser, Teddy (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz will now be known as the Head Kochsucker, no pun intended.  Now the people who vote and support these Kochsuckers are known as Kochroaches.

HeadKochsucker Cruz was pheasant hunting in Iowa this week end with Congressmoron Steve (Minor Kochsucker) King.  Little Teddy kept his reputation in tact by continuing to shoot him self in the foot all day.  Teddy was back in Iowa to sew a few for seeds for 2016.  I understand he already has a motto and it seems to be aimed at the Taliban voter.  It’s “Death to America’s Government”


Castro supporter Rafel ( Rhymes With Fidel) Cruz, father of the aforementioned Teddy (Head Kochsucker) Cruz might be even wackier than his son. Rafel believes his son was anointed by God to be a King.  Dear Rafel and family, there are 44 countries in the world that still have monarchs. America is not one of them.  I believe it would be best for everyone if the Cruz family would move their sorry asses to one of those countries. Thank you and have a nice day.




Stay tuned for future adventures.