Monday, August 19, 2019

Slow Monday






The autopsy on Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein revealed he had multiple bones in his neck broken. The injury is more common in strangulation homicides than with hanging. Gosh I hope Epstein didn’t hurt himself when committing suicide.


Attorney General William (I Cheated To Pass The) Barr has announced he has removed the acting director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons from his job. Barr said he should have acted better in his job.



Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said he wants to buy Greenland. When told it was mostly covered in ice and snow, he said, no problem, I’ll just move it down to the Caribbean. That’s where his buddy Deader Than Elvis Epstein had his island.  


Daniel (Let Me Give You A Bear Hug) Pantaleo, the New York police officer who choked Eric Garner to death five years ago was fired today. Why isn’t Deadly Dan in jail?




Stay tuned for future adventures.




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