There is Dumb and There is Real Dumb

Definition of Dumb according to Webster:  Temporarily unable or unwilling to speak.

This pretty much describes the Republican Party.

I understand there is a sequel to the old movie Birdman of Alcatraz.  This one is about the dumbest man in prison.  It’s called, Birdbrain of Alcatraz.

The dumbest man in Congress is at again. Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.

Louie said yesterday that he doesn’t want the authorities to charge the El Paso shooter with a hate crime because that could lead to charging pastors next. I’m not sure where Louie goes to church, but I must admit I agree that there are lots of pastors spewing hate these days.

Apparently, the bank executives at Deutsche Bank graduated from Trump University.

In the realm of Dumb, I just saw this on Facebook:

Fool me once, Shame on me. 

Fool me 12,000 times. I am a Trump supporter cult member.

So many Republicans have decided not to run in 2020, I understand the Party is looking high and low for new candidates. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Some Random Thoughts

You know you went to a tough school if many of the student pictures in your yearbook are mug shots.

I’m a writer so I am interested in the origin of words. For example the word “Dagnabit” comes from The Beverly Hillbillies.

For non-readers, here's a little bit about what some of the classics are not:

To Kill A Mockingbird is not a chapter in the NRA manual.

The Grapes of Wrath is not about angry winemakers.

Moby Dick is not about the new PD disease.

For Whom the Bell Tolls is not about Jehovah Witnesses at the door.

The Catcher in the Rye is not about the hired hand chasing farmer’s daughter.

Catch-22 is not about a famous football receiver.

Pride and Prejudice is not Trump’s autobiography.

Anna Karenina is not about the Kardashian’s ugly stepsister.

A Tale of Two Cities is not about Minneapolis/ St. Paul

Wuthering Heights is not about old people getting shorter.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is not about a cartoon show.

1984 is not a chapter in The Farmer’s Almanac.

Just a little literary public service in case you are tested.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Day After Hump Day

The biggest hump on the planet.

And so do I. Trump is without a doubt, crazy, mad, demented, deranged, of unsound mind, psychotic, unbalanced, touched, bonkers, wacko, loony, nuts, insane, not quite right, buggy, stupid, bird-brained, senseless, unreasonable, simple minded, dangerous, reckless, unhinged, absurd, rambling, ranting idiot, muddled and mentally ill.   

It was just announced that former press secretary Sean (My Nose Is Growing) Spicer is going to be on Dancing With The Stars. I am pretty sure he will be tap dancing since that is his main talent. I can’t believe they haven’t changed the name of the show to “Dancing With Some People You Might Have Heard Of"

So Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump says he was chosen by God. Let’s see is that the same God who tried to kill everyone in the world with a flood. I’m just sayin’. Terrible Trump is a climate denier.

After I posted an old picture of me during my radio daze, I did have a couple of groupies looking for me. I can’t figure out how they knew where I lived.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Slow Monday

The autopsy on Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein revealed he had multiple bones in his neck broken. The injury is more common in strangulation homicides than with hanging. Gosh I hope Epstein didn’t hurt himself when committing suicide.

Attorney General William (I Cheated To Pass The) Barr has announced he has removed the acting director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons from his job. Barr said he should have acted better in his job.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said he wants to buy Greenland. When told it was mostly covered in ice and snow, he said, no problem, I’ll just move it down to the Caribbean. That’s where his buddy Deader Than Elvis Epstein had his island.  

Daniel (Let Me Give You A Bear Hug) Pantaleo, the New York police officer who choked Eric Garner to death five years ago was fired today. Why isn’t Deadly Dan in jail?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Way I See It

New documents and pictures coming out of the Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein's investigation are showing that Prince Andrew, who has the nickname Randy Andy, may not have been a frog before becoming a Prince, but a horny toad.

Speaking of Deader Than Elvis Epstein, word is the two guards who were to have been watching him took a little nap. They said the last time they checked on him, he was just hanging around his cell.

I wrote back in 2016 that Donald (It’s All Daddy’s Money) Trump was a terrible businessman who had filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy six times.  I predicted that his next bankruptcy would be America and I believe we are almost there. The experts say they are worried about a recession because of “inverted yield curve.” I believe that is code for a President with his head up his ass.

It seems we keep repeating history over and over again. Daddy Bush wrecked the economy and Clinton came along and saved it. Not only saved it, but balanced the budget and left “Dubbya Bush a surplus. Dubbya not only went thru the surplus but wrecked the economy again. Then Obama came along and brought us out of the recession and left Trump with a solid economy which Trump and his incompetent administration are in the process of ruining with tariffs and total ignorance of how the world works. 

Iowa Congressmoron Steve (Just Plain Stupid) King defended his reasons for not allowing exceptions for abortions in cases of rape or incest by asking if there would be any population if not for rape and incest. Being the good Christian I’m assuming he was guided by the Bible story of Cain killing his brother Able so he could have his wife.  Wait…What? Where did Able’s wife come from? Only two answers, incest or it was the world’s first mail-order bride service.  

Trump asked Israeli Prime Minister Benni (I’m A Nut Job) Netanyahu, who by the way is under almost as many investigations as Trump, to bar Congresswomen Omar and Tlaib from coming into Israel.  And being the stooge that he is, he said yes. Wait, I thought Trumpoo wanted them to leave America. I guess that was last week.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some Of This, More Of That

Iowa Senator Joni (I’m Not Very) Ernst is calling for the repeal of Obamacare, abolishing the Department of Education and slashing food stamps. She says the church can take of those things.  In other words, pray that you don’t get sick, pray that you have no need for reading, writing and arithmetic and pray that you will always have something to eat.

Donald (KKK) Trump is wanting to change the rule for immigrants coming into this country. He says they need to have money, a good credit score and health insurance. Evidently there will have to be some changes made to the Statue of Liberty:

It seems that some evangelicals are upset at Trump. They haven’t been upset about him saying, “grab em by the pussy” or locking kids up in cages, but they are mad that at his rally in West Virginia he used the lord’s name in vain.  I’m not sure if he said, “goddamn” or if he spoke Lord Voldemort’s name out loud.  (for those of you not familiar with Harry Potter, you are excused)

The F.B.I. is in the process of raiding Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein’s island in the Caribbean. I’m hoping they bring back the statue that is in front of his house.

Faux News schlock reporter Geraldo (My Brain Is As Empty As Capone’s Vault) Rivera said a few weeks ago that he believes Trump is a racist. Geraldo was evidently stricken with amnesia as he attended a big fund raiser for Trump over the weekend. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

New Week, Same Ole Stuff

I understand that authorities are still trying to figure out how Jeffery (I Like Them Young) Epstien got the hammer, nails and lumber into his cell to build a hangman’s gallows.

I’ve had three robo calls today telling me that my apple products were defective. Damn, and I just bought those Granny Smiths yesterday.

I must admit I do have a recurring fantasy. I see a huge crowd at one of Trump’s rallies of hate and instead of them chanting “Lock her up”, they are chanting “Shut the fuck up.”

Impeachment inquiries have begun in the House of Representatives held by the Democrats and in the Senate the Republicans say that they are not worried because they are way ahead of the problem.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday On My Mind

The Democratic Presidential candidates are in Iowa this week for the Iowa state fair where they will all be eating corn dogs and making their stump speeches. My brain always flashes back to this picture of former Minnesota Congressmoron Michele (I’m Just A Bubble Off) Bachmann.

The CEO of the NRA Wayne (I Only Shoot My Mouth Off) LaPierre called Trump and told him it would be unwise for him to back any kind of gun legislation even though the NRA is losing memberships and are involved with internal fighting among the executives. I gave a little history of the NRA a couple of months ago, but I thought it would appropriate to repeat it.

The NRA started as the National Rifle Association. When they decided to get into politics, they dropped gun safety completely and it became No Rifles Anymore because they were only interested in selling hand guns and assault weapons. Not long after getting into politics they morphed into becoming the National Radical Assholes. When the 2016 election came along, they became Now Rubles Accepted.  And finally, after the story broke that the top leaders and venders were embezzling money from their subscribers, they became Now Robbing Assets.

Talk about putting mental illness and guns together. Republican Senator Pat (Dummy) Toomey won’t support assault weapons because “they are so popular and no more lethal than regular rifles.” Well yes, they are quite popular with those folks who want to kill large numbers of people in a short time. I am pretty sure this guy is Pat’s gun consultant.

The latest polls show that 70% of all voters want assault weapons banned, but don’t hold your breath for that to happen.

This week ICE (Idiots Committing Enslavement) rounded up 680 workers in food processing plants around Mississippi. U.S. Attorney Mike (I Got My Law License At K- Mart) Hurst said, “They were simply enforcing the rule of law in our state.” Of course, it is against the law to hire undocumented workers, but so far none of the employers have been arrested. Could that be because a number of these plants are owned by the Koch brothers?

Word is that Trump is considering a pardon for former Illinois Governor Rod (All Hairdo, No Brains) Blagojevich. Trumpypoo thinks Rod was treated unfairly at his trial because there were no hair stylist on the jury.

Stay tuned for future adventures.