Friday Foolery

Looks like the accommodations for the Republican Convention are set.

Oh goodie, we have another bonehead who says he is going to climb into the ill-fated GOP Hindenburg.  Former Virginia Governor Jim (I Know, I’ve Never Heard Of Me Either) Gilmore says he checked his social calendar and didn’t have a thing penciled in for the next couple of years, so why not.  Jimbo was also a former U.S. Army Intelligence Officer.  I would say that this decision shows that the keyword here is former.

Little Jimmy says he thinks President Obama’s economic policies have been a big failure. Really?  Let’s see what Obama has done since inheriting George Warmonger Bush’s colossal financial implosion.

Here in Texas where people like to say everything is bigger, even the dumb stuff.  The new history books downplay the role of slavery in the civil war. Texas Education board member Pat (I Are A High School Graduate) Hardy says that the Civil War was fought over “states rights.” Not slavery.  Uh, yeah, the right for states to own slaves. It says so in the south’s declaration of secession eighteen times. 

This is just another example of a lame-brained TeaNut Republican rewriting history to suit their needs.  I can’t wait for the next edition to come out because I’m sure Texas wins the Alamo. 

I once read that the only reason Texas doesn’t fall into the Gulf of Mexico is because Oklahoma sucks so bad.  I am beginning to think that might be true. The Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled last week that the Ten Commandments monument in front of the state capitol would have to be removed. Oklahoma Governor Mary (I’ve) Fallin (And Can’t Get Up) says no way and is asking the state legislature to change their constitution.  That certainly fits right in with their state motto, Oklahoma: We’re Okie Dopey.

Here is another bonehead from the state of Loseranna, you know the fine state that has Governor Booby (Jihad) Jindal and Phil (Duck Dickhead Dynasty) Robertson. Dale (Dr. Kevorkian Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me) Cox who is the acting District Attorney for Caddo Parish in Loseranna is all for the death penalty. Terminator Dale says we need to “kill more people.”  He went on to say, “Retribution is a valid societal interest,”  No Dale you dumbass, the death penalty is revenge, not retribution.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day Bubbles From My Soap Box

I believe the rant that South Carolina state senator Lee (I’m Really Not Very) Bright spewed out to his fellow legislators last week about saving the Confederate flag maybe the most incoherent piece of bullshit uttered this year.  He said, “I watch the White House be lit up in the abomination colors!” Bright said. “It is time for the church to rise up…. Romans chapter 1 is clear, the Bible is clear. This nation was founded on Judeo-Christian principles and they are under assault by men in black robes who were not elected by you.” 

How that has anything to do with the Confederate flag is beyond me. Little Lee baby doesn’t seem to remember what his hero and patron saint of the TeaNut Republicans said about the country being founded on Judeo-Christian principles.

The county commissioners in Marion county Florida have voted to put the Confederate Flag back up at their government complex.  Probably at their next meeting they will vote to secede from Florida and with Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump’s help they will build a wall around their county.   

A bonehead by the name of David (If You Are White, You Are Alright) Fenogilo who owns a building across from the Montague county court house here in Texas put up a six foot wooden Confederate flag on the front of the building. He said it stood for “Heritage, Not Hate.”  In other words, being a racist is something that has been passed down for generations. 

The entire staff (all three of them) at the Decatur, Tennessee county clerks office resigned last week over the same-sex marriage ruling even though no gays had requested a marriage license so far.  They said they were doing it “for the glory of God,”  I do believe it is in the good book, right there on page 176, Ignoramus 3:17 “If you don’t like something, do something stupid. That will show  ‘em.”

Stay tuned for future adventures.

This Is Some Kind Of Party

I do believe the political  two party system in America has turned into a one political party, one frat party system.  Leading the frat party conga line is Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump who is spewing racist crap from one end of the country to the other and Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have a Clue) Cruz saluting him. I really don't think that was kind of hand job The Don was looking for from Rafael. And here is what the other TeaNut Republican candidates are saying about little Donny’s bullshit.

Also you have Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie saying that Rand (My Mom Invented Fish Sticks) Paul should be in hearings in front of Congress if the country is attacked because Rand let the Patriot Act expire. I’m pretty sure the terrorist have been sitting around waiting  for it to expire before attacking America again.  Little Crissy went on to say that he wouldn’t let any mean ole terrorist get into New Jersey because he will just close the George Washington bridge.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee is still bent out of shape over the same-sex marriage ruling and said that traditional marriage is in trouble because there is too much “love, feelings and sentimentality in it.”  Wow, I’ll bet Mrs Huckabee was thrilled to hear that little quote.

If you are like me, you may have listened the racist crap that Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump has spewed in the last couple of weeks and then heard that he was running number two in the Republican polls and wondered who in the hell is for this asshole.  Well here they are.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Random Thoughts For A Friday

Hey it’s almost the 4^th of July
Time to blow off a finger or put out an eye.
I think I will watch the fireworks on TV
And avoid all possibility of bodily injury.

Now that Donald (HairBrained) Trump has proven to be the biggest asshole of 2015, I think it is time to change his name to Donald Rump.  I laugh when I see him high in the polls.  I think back to this time the last election and who was at the top of the polls..  Rudy (Open Mouth, Insert Foot) Giuliani, Newt (NitWit) Gingrich and Herman (Nein, Nein, Nein) Cain. Now there are some real winners for ya.

Former Baptist preacher, musician, Governor and talk show blowhard, Mike (I Can’t Keep A Job) Huckabee made the front page of the Washington Post  this week, but not in a good way.   

I get now why Texas Attorney General Ken (I Really Am A Crook) Paxton was so upset with the same-sex ruling.  There may be some same-sex in little Kenny future.  It seems the Texas Rangers found some new evidence in his case and now the special prosecutors have announced they are planning to present a first-degree felony securities fraud case to the grand jury which potentially carries a life in prison sentence. 

Here is the way I see the election shaping up on the Republican side.

Huckabee, Santorum and Jindal will split the religious wacko vote.

Trump and Graham, will split the racist redneck vote

Cruz, Carson, Fiorina and  Perry will split the nut job out of touch vote

Bush will get the votes of the nine people in America who think his brother did a good job.

Christie will get the 12 votes of the toll bridge workers who he gave a four day vacation to in 2013.

Pataki and Kasich will get the marked the wrong box vote.

Walker will get the two Koch brothers vote.






Stay tuned for future adventures.  

Harrumping Day

Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie has officially jumped into the fray to be President, but since he couldn’t squeeze his large butt into the Republican Clown Car, it has now become the Republican Hindenburg which is destined to be the biggest disaster in Republican history.

Texas Attorney General Ken ( The Fox Guarding The Hen House) Paxton has said it is alright for clerks to not issue marriage licenses to gay people even though they would be breaking the law and subject to fines or punishment.  Ole Kenny boy whose case of securities law violations goes to the grand jury next week and could be indicted by end of summer doesn’t seem to have any problem with breaking the law.

Here is my question. Why aren’t they refusing to grant marriage license to people who eat shellfish or folks who are left handed.  The Bible says that both of these groups are sinners just like those mean ole gay people. My guess is that none of these homophobic assholes actually read the Bible.

Ted (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz was on the TV yesterday promoting his book “A Time For Truth” which is an odd title when you consider that Teddy Pooh wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him in the ass. During the interview the question was brought up comparing interracial marriage to same-sex marriage. Little Teddy said that there was no religious backing of banning interracial marriages. He indicated that discrimination against interracial marriage ended with the Civil War. Just when you think this asshole couldn’t possibly be any more out of touch with the real world, he opens his mouth out comes pearls of stupidity.

.

Wife Beater Bully O’Reilly really had his panties in a bunch this week over the recent Supreme Court rulings.  Little Billy Bully had this to say, “I do not believe the government has a right to impose upon me or any other American rules that deny my freedom to express myself, practice my faith, or earn my living.” 

Oh really. What if my freedom to express myself is to drive my car at 120 miles an hour down the highway or to run naked thru the streets?  Maybe practicing my faith is to go to the nearest church and interrupt the preacher in the middle of his sermon to ask why the Bible contains so many contradictions?  And what if I earn my living by robbing banks? 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

An Open Letter to Ted Cruz

Dear Ted,

You were elected to represent all the people of Texas, not just the folks who agree with your warped sense of duty.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP…

You never say or do anything positive for the American people.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP…

All you do is complain, whine, whimper, find fault and lie.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP….

Thank you for your time.

Yours truly,

Rod Tanner

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Bubbles From My Soap Box

Looks like Lousyanna Governor Booby (Jihad) Jindal has the Duck Dynasty vote tied up.  Let’s see counting the 11 family members on the show and the show audience of 23 unrelated boneheads, wow, he is almost up to fifty votes already. Little Booby went on the TV over the weekend to complain about the Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.  He said he believes in the traditional biblical marriage of one man and multiple women.

Surely the Republican Party can see that they are going to have to make some major changes very quickly.  Word is that New Jersey Governor Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie is going to do a cannonball into the Presidential pool next week and let’s face it, that clown car is packed as it is and Chissy Pooh is no lightweight.  I mean literally. This guy must weigh 330.  They are going to have to get a eighteen wheeler.

Texas Congessmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert is afraid that God will leave America unprotected now that boys in black have ruled on same-sex marriage. I wonder if he is talking about the God who was asleep at the wheel during 9/11. Sandy Hook, Charleston Church massacre, Pearl Harbor, Influenza of 1918 and about a jillion other instances since the beginning of time.

Oklahomaphoic Senaterrible James (I’m Not A Scientist, But I Am A Moron) Inhofe said yesterday that he has gay friends who thought the Supreme Court ruling was wrong. That is probably the biggest lie this asshole has told yet.  This bonehead has no friends.

Pat (If You’re White, You’re Alright) Boone thinks the President shouldn’t talk about racism. This asshole who made his career standing on the shoulders of black people by covering their songs is the racist in this conversation.  When this jerk was singing “White Christmas” he wasn’t talking about snow.

 The first time I heard this no-talent bonehead’s version of Little Richard’s Long Tall Sally or Tuttie Fruttie, I wanted to throw up. He needs to crawl back under his rock and wait for rapture.

Stay tuned for future adventures.