Another Day Of Humps

Check these humps out.

Florida Congressmoron Debbie What’s-her-name Schultz who has resigned as Chairman of the Democratic Committee.  She said she wanted to spend more time undermining her family.

Berinie Busters.  I have a couple of words for these boneheads.  GROW UP. 

All Trump supporters imbeciles.  One word.  RACISTS

America’s bully Bill (All Ego, No Integrity)  O’Reilly for telling Michelle Obama that the slaves who built the White House were “well fed and housed.”  You know like Hitler was really a nice guy because he loved dogs.

Donald (Little DICK-tator) Trump for asking Russia to hack Hillary’s email.  Maybe Little Dick Donnie ought to change his VP selection from Pence to Putin.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Boubles From My Soap Box

I understand the White House is thinking about inviting Bill (Sleep My Pretty One) Cosby for drinks and dinner. The plan is to slip him some Quaaludes and when he passes out, take back his Presidential Medal of Freedom.  

Loseranna Governor  Booby (Jihad) Jindal, Former Talk show blowhard, Preacher and Governor Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee, Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz, Rick (I Should Be In A) Santorum, Bill (Wife Beater) O’Reilly and many of the other blowhards on Faux News have been raving and ranting for months about the “War On Christianity.”

Let’s take a look at this so called war. There are over 350,000 churches in America. As of today not a single one has been closed or shut down.  The aforementioned boneheads and many different preachers have gone on the TV, radio, newspapers and internet to rant and spew about this so called war.  As of today, not a single one of their mean-spirited stupid words lies has been censored. Some war huh?

I do believe there is cause for a war though and the enemy is the idiots I have just mentioned. It should be the “War on Stupidity” 

The TeaNut Republicans including all of the boneheads signed up in the Republican Presidential Hindenburg are having a conniption fit over Obama's Iran/Nuke deal. They say that Iran is our oldest arch enemy.

The TeaNuts are pretty sure that it was the Iranians who showed Eve how to bake an apple pie. They also say to remember Dec 7th, that it was Iran who bombed Pearl Harbor; it says so in the new Texas history books. And when we tried to help the Iranians run their country by sending them that nice Shaw guy they said he was a maniacal mass murder and replaced him with that Oldmeanie person. Also they point out that the Israeli Whine Minister Bennie I'manut, who we pay zillions of dollars to be our best friend, says that Iran should return to their old name of Persia and get back into the rug business.  

One last thought and I’m done with it on the Confederate Flag.  The boneheads who want to keep it flying say it’s because they want something that is a symbol of their heritage.  Then what they need to do is find something in their history that they can be proud of and the rest of the world would think was something good. I’m sure there are a number of things and then design a flag around that. The Civil War and slavery is not something they should be proud of. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.  

Harrumping Day

Chris (I’ll Close That Bridge When I Get To It) Christie has officially jumped into the fray to be President, but since he couldn’t squeeze his large butt into the Republican Clown Car, it has now become the Republican Hindenburg which is destined to be the biggest disaster in Republican history.

Texas Attorney General Ken ( The Fox Guarding The Hen House) Paxton has said it is alright for clerks to not issue marriage licenses to gay people even though they would be breaking the law and subject to fines or punishment.  Ole Kenny boy whose case of securities law violations goes to the grand jury next week and could be indicted by end of summer doesn’t seem to have any problem with breaking the law.

Here is my question. Why aren’t they refusing to grant marriage license to people who eat shellfish or folks who are left handed.  The Bible says that both of these groups are sinners just like those mean ole gay people. My guess is that none of these homophobic assholes actually read the Bible.

Ted (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz was on the TV yesterday promoting his book “A Time For Truth” which is an odd title when you consider that Teddy Pooh wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him in the ass. During the interview the question was brought up comparing interracial marriage to same-sex marriage. Little Teddy said that there was no religious backing of banning interracial marriages. He indicated that discrimination against interracial marriage ended with the Civil War. Just when you think this asshole couldn’t possibly be any more out of touch with the real world, he opens his mouth out comes pearls of stupidity.

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Wife Beater Bully O’Reilly really had his panties in a bunch this week over the recent Supreme Court rulings.  Little Billy Bully had this to say, “I do not believe the government has a right to impose upon me or any other American rules that deny my freedom to express myself, practice my faith, or earn my living.” 

Oh really. What if my freedom to express myself is to drive my car at 120 miles an hour down the highway or to run naked thru the streets?  Maybe practicing my faith is to go to the nearest church and interrupt the preacher in the middle of his sermon to ask why the Bible contains so many contradictions?  And what if I earn my living by robbing banks? 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Friday Bubbles From My Soapbox

The Republican primary season is now officially open or as we like to say here in Texas, the Running of Lemmings has begun.  I believe the number of candidates is now up to 113 or maybe 132, I’ll have to check my figures. I predict that the upcoming debates will have more people on stage than in the audience.

The latest to throw his name into the ring is former New York Governor George (At Least My Last Name Isn’t Bush) Pataki.  He is most known for having a really dumb last name.  When asked what he brings to the race that is different from the other hundred or so candidates, he said I have a really dumb last name.

Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham, Senaterrible from South Carolina is expected to announce his bid next week.  Lindsey brings a layer of incoherency to the race that is unequaled.  He had this to say this week on his knowledge of foreign policy,   "My family owned a restaurant, a pool room, and a liquor store, and everything I know about the Iranians I learned in the pool room," Even I can’t come up with a punch line on that one.

You sure have to give talk show blowhard Bill (America’s Bully) O’Reilly credit for one thing.  Ole “wife beater” Bill sure knows his audience. He describes his average viewer to a T.  “They are simpletons, unwilling and unable to discipline themselves into formulating a philosophy of life."  Gosh Bill I couldn’t have said it better. 

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Flakes Of Friday

I have to admit, I just can’t make up my mind about Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush.  Is he really that stupid or does he think the American voter is that stupid?   With all of the TeaNut Republicans making complete fools of them selves trying to answer the question of knowing what we know today, should we have started a war with Iraq.  Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert went in a different direction and blamed President Obama.  Huh…. Here is the question I would like to propose…..To Louie’s mother.  Knowing what we know today, would you still chose to not have an abortion.

I saw an article online where a number of people commented that they couldn’t understand why the liberal media hadn’t given the names of the nine people killed at the shoot out at the biker bar in Waco last week.  So my large research staff got to work and found out who they were.

Tattoo Bob

Knuckles

Pontytail Paul

Bad Breath Benny

Missing Tooth Mitch

Born to be Willey

Hardly Harley (He rode a Suzuiki)

Handlebar Monte

Three Fingers Jackson

It’s official. We can now add “wife beater” to Bill (America’s Bully) O’Rielly’s resume.  I wonder how Bill and the blowhards at Faux News are going to spin this one. 

 TeaNut Republican Presidential hopeful Mike (I Need A Job) Huckster told an audience in Iowa this week that he wasn’t worried about people with guns that didn’t have any training” because “a good guy armed is still better than a good guy unarmed.”  I can certainly see where it is better for the gun manufactures and gosh, you never hear of anyone being accidentally shot.  Who needs training.

The Southern Republican Leadership Conference was held in Oklahoma City this week and featured eleven of the possible 150 Republican candidates running for President.   The last time there were this many clowns on one stage was at the Bozo memorial service. The candidate who seemed to impress the audience the most was Wisconsin Governor Scott (Street) Walker. Of course these were Oklahomans whose motto is: Oklahoma, We Are Okie Dopey.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday boneHead Lines

I believe the Republican Party can now officially change their name to The Benedict Arnolds.  47 Republican Senators have sent a letter to Iran telling them not to deal with the President.  If that is not treason, I don’t know what is.  These boneheads must have a lot of money tied up in military defense stock because they are just dying to start another war.

Former ambulance chaser, full time misleader, Texas Senaterrible Ted (Look At Me, Look At Me) Cruz has written a book.  Well his name is on the title but I seriously doubt that he wrote anything other than his name. Anyway the title and I’m laughing quite hard right now so if there are any typos, ignore them, is Time For Truth.

The ironic thing about that title is it really is time for truth.  Truth from little Teddy that is. Politifacts which is in the truth finding business says that liar, liar, pants on fire Teddy only tells the truth about 20% of the time. The only person Teddy is more truthful than is Bill (America’s Bully) O’Reilly.

The problem with the Hilary email scandal is that there is no scandal.  Once again the TeaNut Republicans are playing the sky is falling game because that is the only game they have.

Here is news flash for you.  Lindsey (I Need Another Mint Julep) Graham says he has never sent an email.  Well of course, why would anyone who still lives in the 1950’s send an email.  




Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Monday Blah Blahs

I made the mistake of actually looking at Facebook this week. My usual routine is to open it up and see if I need to say happy birthday to someone, then close it immediately and go to www.theimmoralminority.blogspot.com. and www.juanitajean.com to be informed and entertained by people with knowledge and intelligence.

Anyway I saw a conversation going on about the Sony hacking story and someone wrote that this would have never happened on Reagan’s watch.  Huh! I have to admit that since the internet wasn’t in existence when that bonehead was President the only hacking was done by cigarette smokers, but let’s see what did happen on Ronald (Bad Actor, Really Bad President) Reagan’s watch.

Here is some more bad news on the education front. Not only has college tuition gone through the roof in the last decade, for no apparent reason that I can find, now we Texans find out that Condoleezza (Princess Liar of Iraq Wars) Rice is the front runner to be the next President of the University of Texas. She said if she got the job she would personally head up the Department of Misinformation.

It’s all in the name. I believe that Jed Clampett would make a better President than Jeb Bush.

Did Admiral Byrd and Admiral Perry have a Bi-Polar disorder?

I really don’t understand why anyone would ever take anything Bill (I’m America’s Bully) O’Rielly or Rush (Tiny Brain, Big Mouth) Slimebaugh says seriously because you can go into any neighborhood bar in America and find an overweight, half-drunk, pompous blowhard saying exactly the same things.    



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Extra, Extra. Read All About It.

And the big winner in yesterday’s Super Bowl: Las Vegas. Actually I think it would have been a much better game if the Denver Broncos had participated. 

According to all the tweets, Coca Cola proved without a doubt that racism is alive and well in the United States.

Personally I think they need to extend the Super Bowl pre-game show another 14 hours.  The five and half hours on Sunday weren’t nearly enough time.  They didn’t even get to detail the lives of the Cheerleaders, distant family members of both teams or fans.

Rumors are that Governor Christie was responsible for the passengers getting sick on the cruise ship out of New Jersey.  They say it was payback for people wanting to leave New Jersey to go on vacation somewhere else.

 Miley (How Do You Like My Birthday Suit?) Cyrus reveals in W Magazine that she has very few friends and clothes.   

Fox news blow hard Bill ( I’m Really a Bully) O’Reilly proved Mark Twains quote,  “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.”



Stay tuned for future adventures.