Monday, July 21, 2014

New Week, Same Ole Stuff






 I went into a Payday Loan store.


 


And got this.


 

I have to come up with 99cents by next week or they will repossess my nuts.


 
Senaterrible John (Civil War Veteran) McCain went on the Tee Vee this weekend and blamed Obama for the downed plane over Ukraine.  He also went on to blame the President for the Iraqi, Vietnam, and Korean Wars. Then he said the financial crisis of 2008 and The Great Depression of 1931 was Obama’s fault too. John said that he suspected Obama of being the second shooter behind the grassy knoll in Dallas and was probably the cause of cancer.  McCain also said he couldn’t find his car keys and was pretty sure that Obama had stolen them.

Not to be outdone in the blame game, McCain’s Siamese-twin Senaterrible Lindsay (I’m Just a Poor Southern Boy with a Stick Up My Ass) Graham also said that Obama’s foreign policy was to blame for the downed airliner and pointed out numerous other Obama foreign policy failures such as the attack on Pearl Harbor and false information given to General Custer.


 
Texas TeaNut Ted (Would Someone Please Pay Attention to Me) Cruz said yesterday that President Obama was holding the migrant kids for ransom.  He didn’t say how much Obama was asking per kid.


 
Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry has decided to send a thousand National Guard troops down to the border to take care of the migrant kid problem. I think if each Guardsman adopts 5 kids, it will take care of the situation. 




Stay tuned for future adventures.


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