I went into a Payday
Loan store.
And got this.
I have to come up with 99cents by next week or they will
repossess my nuts.
Senaterrible John (Civil War Veteran) McCain went on the Tee
Vee this weekend and blamed Obama for the downed plane over Ukraine. He also went on to blame the President for
the Iraqi, Vietnam,
and Korean Wars. Then he said the financial crisis of 2008 and The Great
Depression of 1931 was Obama’s fault too. John said that he suspected Obama of
being the second shooter behind the grassy knoll in Dallas
and was probably the cause of cancer. McCain
also said he couldn’t find his car keys and was pretty sure that Obama had
stolen them.
Not to be outdone in the blame game, McCain’s Siamese-twin Senaterrible
Lindsay (I’m Just a Poor Southern Boy with a Stick Up My Ass) Graham also said
that Obama’s foreign policy was to blame for the downed airliner and pointed
out numerous other Obama foreign policy failures such as the attack on Pearl
Harbor and false information given to General Custer.
Texas TeaNut Ted (Would Someone Please Pay Attention to Me)
Cruz said yesterday that President Obama was holding the migrant kids for
ransom. He didn’t say how much Obama was
asking per kid.
Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry has decided
to send a thousand National Guard troops down to the border to take care of the
migrant kid problem. I think if each Guardsman adopts 5 kids, it will take care
of the situation.
Stay tuned for future adventures.
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