Grist For The Rumor Mill

Newly released tapes from Richard (I'm Not a Crook, I'm Just Stupid) Nixon’s time in office show him to be a really creepy lying asshole.  Man, I didn’t see that one coming.

If you think Republicans in Texas are totally screwed up assholes, check out the boneheads in Louisiana.  In a recent survey taken in the gumbo state asking who in government was to blame for poor response during Katrina in 2005, 29% of Republicans said Barack Obama.  Of course George Warmonger Bush was President and Obama was a freshman in the Senate.  Let’s see, I believe it was the Republican Governor of that fine state who said, “We have to quit being the stupid party.”  Obviously none of the Republican T-bag boneheads over there got that memo.  

Justice Department officials say they'll launch a new legal fight to block the Texas voter ID law.  Texas Attorney General Gregg (I’ll Make Sure Only Friends Can Vote) Abbott says he will fight the law suit.  Personally I don’t think Gregg has a leg to stand on.

A relative of Lt. Governor David (Of Course I Kiss Babies, but Mostly I Kiss Governor Perry’s Ass) Dewhurst gets arrested and Davy decides he should give the police a call and let them know who they have arrested.  After explaining exactly who he is in no uncertain terms and that “I am every year the No. 1 pick of all of the law enforcement agencies within Texas, the No. 1 pick.” He then tells the police sergeant, “I want you to do whatever is the proper thing.”  I am pretty sure what ole Davy thought was the proper thing and what the sergeant thought was the proper thing were two different things.  

 Davy’s opponents for the Lt. Governor’s seat were quick to pounce.  State Senaterrible Dan (I Maybe Holier than the Pope) Patrick said he was “sadden and disappointed” that little Davy "attempted to use his power and influence to get a family member out of jail."   Dan went on to say that God had called him and told him he needed to not let Davy off the hook for trying to use who he knows to help out a family member.

Will Manning the Army private sentenced for leaking classified documents says he will begin sex change in prison and wants to be called Chelsea. I believe that is a given. 

A five year old kindergarten student is in police custody after he fired a handgun in his elementary school cafeteria in Memphis. He said he was upset because his cereal was  soggy.




Stay tuned for future adventures.