East Texas Chainsaw Massacre

As most of you know, my lovely bride and I moved to the country a few years ago after spending many years living in the big city.  This has been quite a change in our lifestyle to say the least, but for the most part very satisfying.  We love the quite compared to the usual big city noises, sirens, gunfire, extremely loud music pulsating from cars and high-pitched wails and moans of domestic disturbances.  As you can probably tell, we didn’t live in an upscale neighborhood, but the upside was there wasn’t a Republican within miles of our house.

We also are getting accustomed to the language, I have learned that you don’t pronounce the e at the end of John Deere and that everyone wants you to have a “good-un.”  Also I have noticed that 90% of the yellow pages here are made up of the ABC’s for Attorneys, Beauty Shops and Churches. Evidently one must be legally good looking to meet Jesus in East Texas.  One of the many small churches down the road from my house had a message on their sign last week that said, “Jesus is coming, are you ready?” so I stopped in and ask them if they knew exactly when he would be here because I was planning making a trip back to Houston this week and didn’t want to miss him. They were quite rude about it and didn’t seem to have a clue when he was going to show up.

Anyway last week I bought a chainsaw.  I have never owned a chainsaw, not that I ever wanted or needed one, but it was on sale.  I decided to break it in right away and I am pretty sure I can now qualify for my lumberjack license.  Leatherface has nothing on me.

Yard Pre-Chainsaw

Yard Post-Chainsaw

This headline caught my eye this week on MSNBC news.  “Angry fire threatens thousands in Idaho.”  I read the whole article and it didn’t mention anything about what made the fire so mad.  There was nothing about it starting out as a lonely small blaze and then erupting into rage from neglect or being left alone when it was little.  There also was no mention of bringing in a therapist to try to find the reasons why it was so pissed off. 

I find it amazing that the Republican Party can continually get their constituents to vote against their own self-interest.  I don’t know if the politicians are that slick or their constituents are that extremely ill-informed. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Here is a party that is run by rich old white men that is concerned only with policies that only benefit rich old white men and they still get poor middle-aged white men and women to vote for them. 

There is no truth to the rumor that you can get Lyme Disease from drinking too many margaritas.




 Stay tuned for future adventures.