Tell It Like It Is

President Obama’s State of the Union Address 2016.

My fellow Americans, since taking office seven years ago, gasoline prices are under $2.00’s, unemployment is at it’s lowest point in 6 years, over 18 million more people now have health insurance and we have reduced the national debt by a trillion dollars.   I have started no wars and have executed 68 less executive orders than my predecessor.  So to the Republicans who have said NO and fought tooth and nail against everything I have tried to do and who have NOT offered one single solution or alternative plan to anything, I would like to say FUCK YOU and you all can line up at the door and kiss my black ass goodbye.

 DISCLAIMER: This was written prior to the President’s speech and I am

pretty sure the President didn’t say this last night, but I truly believe this was what was in his heart.     

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Not Just Another Monday

Since it is President’s Day I thought I would take a look at the current President and some past ones.

President Obama will be remembered for bringing health care to millions of uninsured Americans.

President Bill Clinton balanced the budget for the first time in history and brought unprecedented economic prosperity to the country.

President George Bush lied to the American people and started an unnecessary war that cost billions of dollars and hundred of thousands of lives.

President Ronald Reagan, the patron saint of the Republican Party left this legacy.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

The Open Carry boneheads in Richmond, Virginia decided they would have a big rally on July 4^th.  They invited 300 people via Facebook to come walk around with their guns slung over their shoulders and their arrogance in full view.

 

Three showed up. That’s what I call firing blanks.

Two women have filed gender discrimination lawsuits against Goldman Sachs. Goldman is accused of a “boys club” atmosphere with binge drinking and trips to strip clubs.  I understand they have also asked that the name be changed to Goldman Sucks. 

  

 

Target’s in-store music system will only be playing Johhny Cash’s “Don’t take your guns to town” from now on.

 

When Republican boneheads John (Civil War Veteran) McCain and Lindsay (I’m Just a Poor Southern Boy with a Stick up My Ass) Graham went on Face the Nation they couldn’t run their mouth fast enough blaming Obama for everything they think is wrong with the country, but when host Bob Schieffer asked them, “How do you feel about being part of a Congress that doesn't do anything?" They immediately came down with lock jaw. .

Let’s take a look at the country under Obama’s watch.

Also June marks 52 straight months of private sector job growth, the longest ever on record, besting Bill Clinton's record of 51 continuous months of private sector job growth from February 1996 to April 2000. 

One thing for sure that Obama has proven is that racism is alive and well in America

Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry is off his meds again. For the umpteenth  time he made a fool of himself on national television by telling everyone that Obama had a plan to fill up America with illegal immigrants. Ole Ricky poo really needs to keep his prescriptions filled up and stay off the television. 

 

Texas Attorney General Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott who would like to be the next King of the Lone Star state believes that the fine citizens of Texas don’t need to know which chemical companies in Texas keep dangerous chemicals. He does believe in taking the chemical companies money however.   Little Gregory has taken big bucks from Koch Brothers(which makes him the Kochroach we thought he was), Dow Chemical, Lyndell, DuPont and Chevron.   

 

Texas Senaterrible TeaNut Ted (Will Somebody Please Pay Attention To Me) Cruz has jumped into the Cochran/McDaniel fiasco in Mississippi.  Little Teddy is talking about the horrible voter fraud that went on in the Republican primary.  Somebody ought to point out to Teddy that it was a primary where anyone can vote and it was Republican against Republican.  

 

And laugh of the week is Sarah (Half-Ass Governor, Full Time Moron) Palin saying that she would make a good co-host on The View.  Sarah said she would be a voice of reason from America’s heartland. This could be the dumbest thing she has ever said and when you consider all of the stupid things she has said through the years, that is something.   I think it would actually be really fun to watch Whoopi chew her ass up in little pieces and show the world a real Half-Baked Alaska.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

All Goober, All The Time

Congressmoron Steve (I Could Be the Dumbest Person in Texas) Stockman has decided to run against incumbent Texas Senaterrible John (I’m So Conservative That I Even Hate Myself) Cornyn. Here is the really good part. Little Stevie wants John’s seat because he thinks Johnny is not conservative enough.  I’m still laughing. Cornyn makes Attila the Hun look like Mother Teresa.

The Houston Chronicle has been running a series of articles on Steve that names him as the defendant in multiple lawsuits. They also say he is associated with a number of different businesses that seem to exist only on paper.  Mr. Stockman is a better con man than Congressman.

It will be interesting to see how Steve fairs in a statewide election. The results of a recent survey in his district show that the only people who recognized his name were defense lawyers and debt collectors.

I’m sure Steve will be calling on his good buddy, draft dodger and washed-up rocker, Ted (My Gun Is a 45 and so Is My I.Q.) Nugent, to help him campaign. Both of these boneheads are transplanted Yankees from Michigan.  I think we should have extradition laws for situations like this.  I understand Steve’s high school class in Royal Oak, Michigan voted him most likely to be the most embarrassing person in their school history

The delegation that President Obama is sending to the Olympics in Russia is made up of Billie Jean King and another gay athlete.  Russian President Vladimir Putin-on-a-Show should get a big kick out of this. Mr. Putin, by the way, was quite well known before becoming the President of Russia.  I’m sure you remember his big hit in the 90’s, “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” 

This bonehead is so far in the closet, he probably knows the White Witch of Narnia personally. 

I understand A&E network is considering a name change for their number one show to "Daffy Duck Dynasty."


Stay tuned for future adventures.