More Bubbles From My Soapbox

I am pissed off at Brian Williams and the reason why is that I like Brian and he did something really stupid.  The thing about it is that you can’t defend it because he certainly shouldn’t have done it but it seems the amount of criticism coming from mostly the media seems a little out of whack.

Brian told one lie which really was simply a embellishment of a true story to make himself look good.  No one was hurt, nobody got slandered or defamed, except himself. Where on the other hand George Warmonger Bush, Dick (I Really Am a Dick) Cheney, and Donald (I’m Not The Smartest Guy In The Room Even When I Am The Only Guy In The Room) Dumbsfield according to a recent study lied 935 times about Iraq.   

Punditfactof found that Fox News lies about 72% of the time and Bill (America’s Blowhard Bully) O’Reilly once told people on a book tour of his combat experience when the truth is the asshole never served in the military.

Then there are the millions of parents who lie to their kids about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

36 Senators from the “Just Say No” party found that occasionally they can say yes…Well when there is money involved.  A report just released shows that the Koch brothers paid an average of $250,000 to the Senators who said yes to the Keystone Pipeline and only $22,000 to the ones who voted no.  And the number one Kochhead is Texas Senaterrible John (Not Only Is My Gun Concealed, But So Is My Integrity) Cornyn who received a little over one million dollars from the Koch Bros to say yes on the Keystone Pipeline.  

This is a project that will benefit only the Koch bros.  It will transfer oil from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico to be exported to the rest of the world.   Not a drop stays here, well, only the hundreds of gallons that will run out into U.S. soil during a leak, and it will only employ 35 to 50 permanent jobs.  

More news from the state whose motto is Oklahoma Is Okie Dopey.  Congressmoron Dan (I’m An Okie And I’m Dopey) Fisher has introduced legislation to ban Advanced Placement U.S. History class. Little Danny thinks the course teaches “what is bad about America.”  I am pretty sure he doesn’t want those little Okies to hear about the Tulsa race riots of 1921 where an estimated 10,000 blacks were left homeless, 6,000 were arrested, 35 city blocks were destroyed by fire and up to 300 were killed.  You see all of this has been left out of Oklahoma’s history books.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday Musings

Texas Senaterrible Little Teddy (Me,Me,Me, Look at Me) Cruz has decided since he did such a great job stopping Obamacare, that now he is going to stop same sex marriage. Ted says that the Bible tells us that a traditional marriage is between one man and one to three hundred women.  Next I understand Teddy is going to have the Law of Gravity repealed.

Texas Congressmoron Steve (I Really Don’t Have a Clue) Stockman is back in the headlines. Little Stevie is running to unseat Texas Senaterrible John (I’m Not Dumb, I’m Just Mean) Cornyn in the upcoming Senate race. Steve is suing Cornyn’s PAC saying that they ran lies about him being in jail multiple times in his life.  The problem is that little Stevie admitted in two interviews, one in a Dallas paper and the other in a Houston paper in 1995, that he had been in jail a number of times. Boy that selective amnesia can really bite you in the ass. 

Steve’s real problem is that as of the last filing in September, Cornyn’s campaign listed $7 Million in the bank and as of Dec, 31 Little Stevie had $47,000.  Steve sure as hell won’t get my vote for Senator, (neither will John) but he certainly gets my vote for Bonehead of the Decade.

Speaking of selective amnesia, it seems to be in the genes of Republicans.  They are so upset with the debt deficit and yet they totally ignore George Warmonger Bush’s Iraq and Afghanistan wars.  A new Harvard University report out says that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars have cost us 2 TRILLION dollars so far and will probably end up costing between 4 & 6 Trillion. Why this asshole is not sitting in a cell with his sorry asshole buddy Dick (I Really am a Dick) Cheney is beyond me. After all, ole George can’t even use the “Stand your ground” excuse because neither country had anything to do with 911.

Kentucky pastor Jamie (Have You Hugged Your Snake Today) Coots who did a reality show about snake handling has met reality head-on.  The snake handling preacher was bitten Saturday and is going to get to talk to Jesus personally to see what his views are on snake handling. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

All Goober, All The Time

Congressmoron Steve (I Could Be the Dumbest Person in Texas) Stockman has decided to run against incumbent Texas Senaterrible John (I’m So Conservative That I Even Hate Myself) Cornyn. Here is the really good part. Little Stevie wants John’s seat because he thinks Johnny is not conservative enough.  I’m still laughing. Cornyn makes Attila the Hun look like Mother Teresa.

The Houston Chronicle has been running a series of articles on Steve that names him as the defendant in multiple lawsuits. They also say he is associated with a number of different businesses that seem to exist only on paper.  Mr. Stockman is a better con man than Congressman.

It will be interesting to see how Steve fairs in a statewide election. The results of a recent survey in his district show that the only people who recognized his name were defense lawyers and debt collectors.

I’m sure Steve will be calling on his good buddy, draft dodger and washed-up rocker, Ted (My Gun Is a 45 and so Is My I.Q.) Nugent, to help him campaign. Both of these boneheads are transplanted Yankees from Michigan.  I think we should have extradition laws for situations like this.  I understand Steve’s high school class in Royal Oak, Michigan voted him most likely to be the most embarrassing person in their school history

The delegation that President Obama is sending to the Olympics in Russia is made up of Billie Jean King and another gay athlete.  Russian President Vladimir Putin-on-a-Show should get a big kick out of this. Mr. Putin, by the way, was quite well known before becoming the President of Russia.  I’m sure you remember his big hit in the 90’s, “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” 

This bonehead is so far in the closet, he probably knows the White Witch of Narnia personally. 

I understand A&E network is considering a name change for their number one show to "Daffy Duck Dynasty."


Stay tuned for future adventures.