The Vatican Will Soon be Blowing Smoke Again.

The 115 Cardinals have locked themselves into the Sistine Chapel to begin voting on the election of a new commander-in-red shoes.  There will be lots of heated discussions and deliberations on how to handle the sex abuse scandals, corruption allegations and general direction of the church, but the most important detail to nail down first will be everyone’s hat size.

The Princes of the Church say they will stay as long as it takes, but I personally believe it won’t take long at all because they are locked in with no internet, no cell phones, no television and NO ALTER BOYS.

One of the big discussions that will take place in the Conclave is about women in the church. Not that they will change anything, but you know how a bunch of guys talk when there are no women around.

The one thing all the boys in red agree on is that whoever is handed the keys to the Pope Mobile should take his vows a little more seriously than Pope Bennie, especially the one about “Until death do us part.”   


Stay tuned for future adventures.