The Way I See It

I see where the critics are saying that The History Channel’s mini-series “The Bible” has quite a number of mistakes in it.  I didn’t watch it.  I read the book and didn’t care for it.

We need to find out what Dennis Rodman said to Kim Jong un to piss him off so bad.

Alaska Congressman Don Young is living up to his word to be a true Republican.  In making a reference to immigrant workers this week he called them “wetbacks.”  Later he said that was what they were called years ago when they worked for his father.  He said “I meant no disrespect”.  The problem with your apology Mr. Young is that it was also disrespectful back then, you narrow-minded, bigoted, mean-spirited old asshole.  Oh I’m sorry I meant no disrespect.

Pope Frankie, The Sissy has quite a week-end Easter celebration planned. To celebrate the Way of the Cross, or Via Crucis, Pope Frankie will lead a candlelit procession of the Bunny Hop around the Roman amphitheater,

I think there maybe some trouble brewing in the Galveston city council.  They picked a Glen Campbell song for its latest marketing campaign. You would have thought it would be “Galveston” instead of “By the time I get to Phoenix”.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

TGIF...Oops, TGIGF

Here it is, “Thank God it’s Good Friday”.  Wow, of all the Fridays in the year, this is the only good one.  I believe that is a clear case of discrimination and I am surprised no has taken it to the Supreme Court to get it changed.  If we get a Good Friday and a Super Sunday every year, then I think we ought to get a Marvelous Monday, a Tantalizing Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a Terrific Thursday and a Splendid Saturday.  

This Sunday is the big day.  The day the family gathers around to once again resurrect the age old question, which came first, the Easter Bunny or the Easter Egg.  I’m sure it will be quite the spirited discussion as always.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

It's Hump Day

 Speaking of humps,

Rush (I’ll say anything to get attention)  Slimebaugh said yesterday that lesbians are “obese substance abusers.”  This certainly proves the old adage; it takes one to know one.

President Barack Obama announced yesterday that he had appointed a new director for the Secret Service but I couldn’t say who it is because it’s a secret.

The Supreme Court is tackling the touchy same-sex marriage issue this week.  They said that next week they would take on the really touchy same-ole-sex marriage issue..

There are couple of special days coming up this week.  Of course Thursday is National Something on a Stick day.  I’m not sure what the observance is about, but Michele Bachman says it’s one of her favorites.

And of course the big day is Sunday is when we honor the birth of Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen.  Robert invented the Bunsen burner so we have National Bunsen burner day.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Time to Shoot My Mouth Off

I think we need to have an intelligent discussion in this country about guns.  First of all I need to say that I have no problem with rifles and shotguns.  I have both in my house.  I have a number of friends that are hunters and even though I am not a hunter I have no problem with that either.

I believe the first step is to not use the phrase Gun Control or Gun Culture.  We have to take the word “control” out of the conversation and (stop distancing ourselves from what happens when people who have no business possessing a gun have one).  People referring to gun culture in the United States insist that you are talking about taking guns away from them and the opportunity to hold on to them until you pull them from their cold dead hand.  I am not talking about that either, I want to talk about guns.

I believe we are anaesthetized to gun violence that we see on television, in video games and in movies.  When we watch the bad guys get shot on TV, we know that after the scene is finished, the actors get to wash off the fake blood and resume their lives.  This doesn’t happen in the real world with real guns.  

Too many of the concealed hand gun group thinks they can be Bruce Willis or Clint Eastwood if they were to get involved in a firefight.  This is really foolish thinking. Trained police officers and soldiers many times freak out in the chaos of a firefight. 

As I said, I’m not talking about hunters, but I do have a problem with hand guns, assault rifles and multiple ammunition clips and I think the majority of country does also.  Now if you are one those people who pop up right here and say something like, “Well, more people are killed every year with automobiles than guns,” then you don’t get to participate because you are TOO STUPID to participate in this debate .  Yes thousands of people are killed every year in car ACCIDENTS.  People are not out deliberately killing people with cars. Automobiles were invented to get us from point a to point b. Guns were invented to kill things.  That is their sole purpose.  Yes, you can do other things with a gun, but, trust me; guns weren’t invented to shoot skeet.

In discussing background checks the NRA is against them, not because it has anything to do with taking your guns away, but because it is inconvenient. Their mantra is that background checks are inconvenient for law bidding citizens and criminals don’t buy guns from legitimate dealers.  Here is the problem I have with that.  None of the school shootings or work place shootings that have happened in the last twenty years were committed by criminals.  They weren’t murdered by mobsters, drug cartels, or gangs; they were killed by law abiding citizens who had work related, domestic or mental problems and they were expressing their second amendment right to grab their gun and use it.

The vast majority of people in this country are not gun owners although the NRA would like for you to believe otherwise.  The most recent study shows that gun ownership is down despite news stories to the contrary.    ( See The Washington Post: http://wapo.st/VGmwZo)   Of the 315 million people who live in the United States only about 4 million belong to the NRA not that every one who owns a gun is a member.

Another thing the NRA brings up is that there are plenty of gun laws on the books now.  This is true, but what they don’t tell you is that many of them have no teeth because lawmakers have taken the bite from them by diluting them or slipping in amendments in other bills that make them null and void.  The ATF, the agency for enforcing federal gun laws, has been without a director for more than four years.

I really don’t think Congress will do much about this for a number of reasons. First of all they don’t do much about anything and as long as we have boneheads like this in high government offices,

not much will change.  But I do believe we could change how we deal with guns if we could have some civil conversations about them.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Thought Provoking Trip

I made a little trip into the big city this week.  I love living out in the country but every so often I get nostalgic for traffic jams, miles of concrete and extremely large glass buildings, lots of noise and dirty air and doing a little shopping with about a million other warm bodies. 

Several years ago Diana and I discovered the best lunch deal in Houston was at Costco.  Two polish dogs and drinks for three dollars and twenty five cents.  That’s the tip anywhere else, plus some great people watching.  As we were leaving I noticed Costco still wanted to know what I thought so I decided to tell them.

I think that the Junior Senator from Texas, little Teddy Cruz is the love child of Ayn Rand and Joseph McCarthy. 

I think the latest approval ratings of 11% for Congress is a little high.  I don’t believe they are doing that good of a job.

I think instead of being called Free Agents, they should be called extremely overpaid agents?

I think liberals believe in “Live and let live,” and conservatives only believe in “Live my way.”

I think Poetry slams can be painful.

I think the first illegal aliens were the Pilgrims.

I think Wall Street should be in Las Vegas.

I think there would be less fighting in ice hockey if the penalty box had an electric chair.

I think if you really were born-again, you should have gotten a better hair-do?

And is March Madness covered under Medicare? 



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Keeping a Eye on the Stars

A shark died while making a commercial for K-Mart.  I’m assuming that Steven Spielberg was directing.

  Those tough American Idol voters have spoken again and this time it is Ryan Seacrest’s girl friend Julianee Hough who is out and she wasn’t even on the show.

I have never watched the “Hells Kitchen” tv show but I have seen promos for it  I would however watch it if I knew that one of the contestants was going to pick up an iron skillet and beat the living shit out of Chef Gordon Ramsey..

Quite a line up on “Dancing With the Stars” this season.  They have a gymnast, a singer, a skater, a bachelor and a Dick.

Speaking of The Bachelor, Sean Lowe and his new fiancée, Catherine Giudici, say they are waiting until after their made-for-TV wedding before consummating their relationship. They had planned on consummating the marriage on live TV but since the show would only be three minutes long, ABC declined.

“Oz the Great and Powerful” was number one at the box office again this week.  I’m really surprised; I have seen the doctor’s TV show and wasn’t very impressed.

March Madness is here featuring hours of non-stop dribbling.  Of course that is just the TV announcers.

Lindsay Lohan may have really done it this time.  She was booked on charges of reckless driving and lying to a peace officer and a judge has thrown the book at her.  Instead sending her back to rehab, he sentenced her to four consecutive trips on Carnival Cruise lines.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Popes & Politicians: Cut from the same Cloth.

Here is an eye catching headline for you. It will be an unprecedented meeting of men and minds, a conversation almost without parallel. What they are talking about is the sleep over between new Pope Frankie-the-Sissy and Ex-Pope Bennie-the-Quitter. Not only are they going to play dress up and take turns wearing Red shoes, they are going to watch all 82 episodes of The Flying Nun.

Pope Frankie-the-Sissy made an impromptu visit in public yesterday.  He was shaking hands with people and kissing babies.  Sounds like his run for 2016 is beginning.

Pope Frankie-the-Sissy also said last week that he “Wanted a poor church for poor people.”  After last weeks settlement in Los Angles of 10 million dollars over sexual abuse charges they are steadily working their way toward that goal.

Look out America, Rand Paul won the straw vote at last week’s Conservative Political Action Conference.  Let’s see, his dad Ron Paul won it in 2010 and in 2011 and we all know how close he came to becoming President.

The speakers at CPAC this year weren’t all angry men; one-and-a-half women also addressed the room full of sheep. 

Sarah Palin made this crack when talking about gun control and her husband. "He's got the rifle, I've got the rack."

And Tea Party drag queen Ann Coulter spouted so many lies in a 15 minute rant that her nose actually grew larger than her Adams apple.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Time to turn Green.

This is what happens when you drink too much green beer and eat way too much cabbage.  I think I will pass.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Popes and Politics

I don’t know if the new Pope is gonna work out or not.  From all indications he seems to live a very simple life; wouldn’t take the chauffer driven car to work, but took the bus, and until they get the papal apartment ready he is staying at a Motel 6. He said they always leave the light on. 

He also seems very concerned with the poor.  I’m not sure but I think he was engaged at one time to Mother Teresa or maybe they just dated for a while.  Also he is supposed to be very honest.  With these sorts of characteristics, I just don’t think he is going to fit in with the status quo, but then again, they did elect a 76 year old man with one lung.  Maybe they think he won’t be a long term Pope.

The GOP’s newest star, Marco Rubio, told the folks at the Conservatives Political Action conference this week that there is no need to abandon their bedrock principles amid a bout of soul-searching within the GOP about how to broaden the party's appeal. The Florida senator repeatedly noted that the world has changed, but made the case for why standby Republican policies should stay the same.  

Hey I’m all for it, seeing how well that worked out for them in the last election.



Proving that Republicans aren’t about to change from their out-dated, worn out polices and tired old rhetoric, Congressman Louie Gohmert, well known nut-job and wacko from Texas, spent his time at the conference ranting about how we handled the Vietnam War.  Yes, you read that right, the Vietnam War.  He said the war was winnable and if we had spent one more week doing bombing runs that the Viet Cong would have surrendered.

An interesting side note about Louie is that Highway 59, which runs through his distinct, is also his IQ number.   


American Conservative Union chairman Al Cardenas who organizes CPAC also said he didn't invite New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to the conference and insisting that the GOP is "not a home for everybody."

Well yeah, why would you want somebody like Gov. Christie in your small little tent?  Even though he is white, he is certainly not old or grumpy enough to qualify.  And why would you want somebody that is popular and well liked?  That doesn’t fit into your tiny little tent.  And the real capper is that he actually seems to know and care how to govern and that really doesn’t fit into your minuscule little tent.



Stay tuned for future adventures.

Wacky Wednesday News

 I don’t know how strong this new pope is going to be. He is Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina and he has named himself Pope Francis 1 after Saint Francis a sissy. He says he is a compassionate conservative.   Hey that’s what George W. Bush said he was when he was elected President.  It looks like the Catholic Church has a tough eight years ahead of them. 

Speaking of the Bush clan. It seems that Daddy Bush was quite a poet and love letter writer.  A few samples have been released this week.  Here’s one I enjoyed very much.

Dear George,
Roses are red
Violets are blue,
I wish Jeb had run
Instead of you.

Kim Jong un is certainly living up to his name:  unstable, unwise, unbalanced; take your pick.  I was really hoping for unconscious or unemployed. Doesn’t it seem odd that two days after Dennis Rodman left Korea that Kim Jong un said he was going to attack South Korea. Carman Electra said the same thing after he left her.

The Republican Party should change its mascot from elephant to an groundhog.  They seem to keeping doing the same dumb stuff over and over.  You think by now that someone would tell them that Ronald Reagan is deader than a doornail and so are his outdated policies.

H & R Block mistakes cause 600,000 tax returns to be delayed.  Now we know the H and R stand for Highway Robbery.

New York Mayor Micheal Bloomberg’s ban on large sugary drinks because he says obesity is epidemic in New York has been derailed for the moment by a judge.  I believe Mr. Bloomberg’s heart is in the right place but when you are only five foot in your stocking feet, I’m sure everyone looks obese. 

Conservative columnist George Will on ABC news this past Sunday suggested that women shouldn't complain about the difficulties of juggling a family and a career because "no one can have it all."  That’s odd.  Men seem to be able to do that.  So I am assuming that ole narrow-minded, mean-spirited, egotistical George was misquoted.  He meant women can’t have it all.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Vatican Will Soon be Blowing Smoke Again.

The 115 Cardinals have locked themselves into the Sistine Chapel to begin voting on the election of a new commander-in-red shoes.  There will be lots of heated discussions and deliberations on how to handle the sex abuse scandals, corruption allegations and general direction of the church, but the most important detail to nail down first will be everyone’s hat size.

The Princes of the Church say they will stay as long as it takes, but I personally believe it won’t take long at all because they are locked in with no internet, no cell phones, no television and NO ALTER BOYS.

One of the big discussions that will take place in the Conclave is about women in the church. Not that they will change anything, but you know how a bunch of guys talk when there are no women around.

The one thing all the boys in red agree on is that whoever is handed the keys to the Pope Mobile should take his vows a little more seriously than Pope Bennie, especially the one about “Until death do us part.”   


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Around the World in Eighty Words, Or So.

It looks like the upcoming election for the new President of Venezuela is going to get nasty.  All of the front runners, Newt Gutierrez, Mitt Ramos and Rick Perez are well known for mudslinging and misinformation.

The Cardinals are all gathered at the Vatican seeing who draws the short straw to see who is next in the barrel.  They will also be electing a new Pope while they are there.   

A million people have exited Syria, unfortunately not one of them was President Bashar al-Assad.

Sulaiman Abu Ghaith, Bin Laden’s son-in-law was captured today.  He said he was on his way to the United States to be on The Family Feud.  It was going to be his family vs America.

                                                        Pondering and Musing.

Why isn’t Tom DeLay’s dumb ass sitting on a cold hard bench in prison somewhere?

Why do Supreme Court Judges have a life-time gig?  Didn’t we learn a lesson about life-time jobs from J. Edgar Hoover.  By the way you do know the J stood for Janet.

Why don’t all of the contestants, except one, die on Survivor?

Why are most of the comments on Social Media anti-social?



Stay tuned for future adventures.

My, How Time Flies

So I took a year off…Sue me!  Last year we decided to move from the big city to the country.  Wow, who knew living the simple life took so much work.

Also when I started this blog, I thought I would comment on the world around me but it felt like I got caught up in all of the crap, and I do mean CRAP, of last year’s election season.  As I have said many times before, I don’t like politics and detest politicians and it felt like every post was political.  Yes I voted for Obama and No I am not affiliated with either Republicans or Democrats.  The only party I am part of is the party of two at Red Lobster.

I thought it was appropriate to begin this process of putting thoughts to paper and sending it out to the world because my last post back in 2011 was about the long awaited and highly celebrated death of Kim Jong Il. And here we are starting out 2013 with news of Kim Jong Un meeting with that world renowned diplomat Dennis Rodman.  A man who is nicknamed “The Worm”, wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography, and of course is wonderful family man.  Ask any of his three ex-wives. 

In an interview over the week-end, Dennis said that Kim Jon was a really nice guy.  When told that he was a murderer, Dennis said “Well, he didn’t kill me.”

THIS JUST IN:

Hugo Chavez is no longer on the short list to be the next Pope. As President of Venezuela for the past 14 years, Hugo leaves a legacy of high inflation, food shortages, escalating crime and mismanagement of the country’s oil industry.  He was also famous for denouncing capitalism, imperialism and the United States, but to his defense he once called George W. Bush the devil, so he did get a few things right.  On his death bed he said his biggest regret was that he was never asked to be on Dancing With The Stars.

Speaking of politics, check out the best blog on the net.  www.juanitajean.com

Stay tuned for future adventures.