Another Hump Day

The worlds biggest hump Donald (What Me Worry?) Trump is not the first President to be impeached, but he is the dumbest. He proved it today in his "stand up and lie to the nation" press conference. I see why he is referred to as number 45. That's his I.Q.

The White House sent out an email of talking points on how the Republicans are supposed to spin the debacle of Trump’s phone call to the President of Ukraine. The problem is that they sent it to the Democrats by mistake. The White House then asked the Democrats to send it back, but the Dems said, “sorry, finders keepers, looser weepers”. Yes sir, Trump hires only the best people.

Laura (Incredibly Ignorant) Ingraham had the gall to slam climate activist Greta ( Super Girl) Thunberg by comparing her to Steven King’s Children of the Corn book. Laura said she couldn’t wait to see Steven’s sequel.  Really!!!! I understand it is going to be sequel to Misery and it’s about Laura; it’s called Miserable.

Laura’s older brother Curtis said, “I can no longer apologize for a sibling who I no longer recognize.” I can see where Thanksgiving dinner at the Ingraham house will be a real treat.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Musing And Pondering

Things that do NOT make sense to me under any circumstance.

That Donald (KKK) Trump is President of the United States.

The first person to eat an oyster.

That Brett (Wanta See My Dick) Kavanaugh is a Supreme Court Judge.

Watching Fox News or Newsmax TV

That Chuck (I Love Listening to Me Talk) Todd has a job on TV.

Owing an AK-47 or AR15.

That Bill (Who’s Got the Ball) O’Brien is a head coach.

.The first person to jump out of an airplane.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

It's Friday The 13th, Which Means Tomorrow Is Saturday The 14th.

Donald (KKK) Trump said last night that energy efficient light bulbs make him look “orange.” And as we all know, the spotlight makes him look “STUPID.”

Sarah (Part-Time Governor, Full-Time Moron) Palin’s hubby Todd has filed for divorce. Todd cited “incompatibility of temperament” as the reason. I think that is Todd’s way of saying, “I’m OK.  She’s an idiot doofus.” They were married for 31 years so I guess 32 was a bridge too far.

Oh look, another bonehead politician from Texas has opened his mouth and inserted his cowboy boot.  State Representative Briscoe (Just Call Me BOZO) Cain, warned Beto O’Rourke that his AR gun is ready for Beto which amounts to a death threat of a presidential candidate.  It could be that the F.B.I. is getting ready for a little face time with Briscoe BOZO.

More emails are surfacing from Jerry (Daddy Was A Jerk, I’m A Real Asshole) Falwell Junior.  One of the kingpins in the Industry of Religion, Junior Falwell, referred to some of the students at Liberty University as “social misfits and emotionally imbalanced.” He called the former dean “a bag of hot air” who “couldn’t spell the word profit.” He also said the campus police chief “was a half-wit and easy to manipulate.” It is easy to see why Judas Jerry Junior is a real fan of Trump.  Birds of a feather as they say. 

On a positive note, I am totally hooked on two new TV shows. Carnival Row on Amazon and The Umbrella Academy on Netflix. Not only quirky concepts on both but great writing and acting.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politicians, Preachers and Pimps

The usual disclaimer: There are no stories about pimps here.

Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump just announced that he has fired National Security advisor John (Bombs Away) Bolton.  My understanding is that thing on Trump’s head was jealous of Bolton’s moustache.

Republican State Senator from Tennessee Kerry (Dumb And Proud Of It) Roberts wants to eliminate higher education. I think Kooky Kerry wants everyone to be as stupid as he is. He says that getting rid of higher education will “save America.” Save America from what? Being smart…. Once again, I must point out where the GOP finds these people.

Aides to Liberty University’s Jerry (Daddy Was Jerk, I’m A Real Asshole) Falwell Jr. have decided to talk about their boss. They say he really likes to talk about his sex life. One employee said, “all he wanted to talk about was how big his penis was.” Sounds like even ole Jerkwater Jerry knows how big a DlCK he is.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Day After Hump Day

That Trump’s a real Sharpie…..

Republican Congressmoron James ( I Have No Common) Sensenbrenner from Wisconsin has decided not to run for reelection. Jurassic James is in his 22 term in Congress. I’m not sure if he was around during the signing of the constitution or not.

Ole Jerkwater James was one of the architects of the Patriot Act, possibly one of the worst pieces of legislation to ever come down the pike and voted against giving emergency aide to victims of hurricane Katrina. Don’t let the door hit you in your ass on the way out Jimbo.

Texas Governor Greg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott continues to push back against calling for a special session on gun-control measures. I mean what’s the rush. The legislature which meets every other year, will convene again in 2021 and how many people could possibly be injured or killed by then?

If we are going to get caught up in a trade war, surly we can find someone to trade Trump for.

Trumpypoo’s new press secretary Stephanie (I’ll Drink To That) Grisham sobered up long enough to send a stupid email to CNN about a mistake they had made. CNN wrote back and said “Yes, we made a mistake and corrected in thirty seconds. And now are admitting it. You all should try it sometime.” Drum roll goes here.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Tuesday That Feels Like A Monday

Texas State Representative Matt (I LOVE Guns) Schaefer said he would not doing anything to diminish the God-given rights for his fellow Texans to have their precious guns. I’m not sure where in the Bible it says everyone should have a gun. It could be in Smith and Wesson 38:45, but probably it is Ignoramus 10:12

Of course Moron Matt’s answer is prayers. It seems to me if this wonderful all knowing, and all loving God of Matt’s doesn’t seem to know what’s going on if people have to pray for him to stop it. Either God is asleep at the wheel or doesn’t care that a 17 month old baby got shot in the face.  If I thought that kind of prayer worked, I would already have won the lottery.

Even though I live in this bonehead’s District, I’ve never heard of him, but you can bet I’ll remember his name the next time I go to the ballot box.

St. Edwards, a Catholic school in Nashville has banned the Harry Potter books from their library. Father Reehil says the decision was made for the “well-being” of the students. This from the religion cult where thousands of children have been abused by their priest.

Texas Governor Greg (I Haven’t Got A Leg To Stand On) Abbott said this week that firearms need to be kept out of the hands of “deranged killers.” He went on to say that he thought a lot of these deranged killers were not checking the “deranged killers” box on their gun application.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

There is Dumb and There is Real Dumb

Definition of Dumb according to Webster:  Temporarily unable or unwilling to speak.

This pretty much describes the Republican Party.

I understand there is a sequel to the old movie Birdman of Alcatraz.  This one is about the dumbest man in prison.  It’s called, Birdbrain of Alcatraz.

The dumbest man in Congress is at again. Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.

Louie said yesterday that he doesn’t want the authorities to charge the El Paso shooter with a hate crime because that could lead to charging pastors next. I’m not sure where Louie goes to church, but I must admit I agree that there are lots of pastors spewing hate these days.

Apparently, the bank executives at Deutsche Bank graduated from Trump University.

In the realm of Dumb, I just saw this on Facebook:

Fool me once, Shame on me. 

Fool me 12,000 times. I am a Trump supporter cult member.

So many Republicans have decided not to run in 2020, I understand the Party is looking high and low for new candidates. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures. 

Some Random Thoughts

You know you went to a tough school if many of the student pictures in your yearbook are mug shots.

I’m a writer so I am interested in the origin of words. For example the word “Dagnabit” comes from The Beverly Hillbillies.

For non-readers, here's a little bit about what some of the classics are not:

To Kill A Mockingbird is not a chapter in the NRA manual.

The Grapes of Wrath is not about angry winemakers.

Moby Dick is not about the new PD disease.

For Whom the Bell Tolls is not about Jehovah Witnesses at the door.

The Catcher in the Rye is not about the hired hand chasing farmer’s daughter.

Catch-22 is not about a famous football receiver.

Pride and Prejudice is not Trump’s autobiography.

Anna Karenina is not about the Kardashian’s ugly stepsister.

A Tale of Two Cities is not about Minneapolis/ St. Paul

Wuthering Heights is not about old people getting shorter.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is not about a cartoon show.

1984 is not a chapter in The Farmer’s Almanac.

Just a little literary public service in case you are tested.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Day After Hump Day

The biggest hump on the planet.

And so do I. Trump is without a doubt, crazy, mad, demented, deranged, of unsound mind, psychotic, unbalanced, touched, bonkers, wacko, loony, nuts, insane, not quite right, buggy, stupid, bird-brained, senseless, unreasonable, simple minded, dangerous, reckless, unhinged, absurd, rambling, ranting idiot, muddled and mentally ill.   

It was just announced that former press secretary Sean (My Nose Is Growing) Spicer is going to be on Dancing With The Stars. I am pretty sure he will be tap dancing since that is his main talent. I can’t believe they haven’t changed the name of the show to “Dancing With Some People You Might Have Heard Of"

So Donald (Little DICK-Tator) Trump says he was chosen by God. Let’s see is that the same God who tried to kill everyone in the world with a flood. I’m just sayin’. Terrible Trump is a climate denier.

After I posted an old picture of me during my radio daze, I did have a couple of groupies looking for me. I can’t figure out how they knew where I lived.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Slow Monday

The autopsy on Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein revealed he had multiple bones in his neck broken. The injury is more common in strangulation homicides than with hanging. Gosh I hope Epstein didn’t hurt himself when committing suicide.

Attorney General William (I Cheated To Pass The) Barr has announced he has removed the acting director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons from his job. Barr said he should have acted better in his job.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said he wants to buy Greenland. When told it was mostly covered in ice and snow, he said, no problem, I’ll just move it down to the Caribbean. That’s where his buddy Deader Than Elvis Epstein had his island.  

Daniel (Let Me Give You A Bear Hug) Pantaleo, the New York police officer who choked Eric Garner to death five years ago was fired today. Why isn’t Deadly Dan in jail?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

The Way I See It

New documents and pictures coming out of the Jeffery (I’m Really Hung Now) Epstein's investigation are showing that Prince Andrew, who has the nickname Randy Andy, may not have been a frog before becoming a Prince, but a horny toad.

Speaking of Deader Than Elvis Epstein, word is the two guards who were to have been watching him took a little nap. They said the last time they checked on him, he was just hanging around his cell.

I wrote back in 2016 that Donald (It’s All Daddy’s Money) Trump was a terrible businessman who had filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy six times.  I predicted that his next bankruptcy would be America and I believe we are almost there. The experts say they are worried about a recession because of “inverted yield curve.” I believe that is code for a President with his head up his ass.

It seems we keep repeating history over and over again. Daddy Bush wrecked the economy and Clinton came along and saved it. Not only saved it, but balanced the budget and left “Dubbya Bush a surplus. Dubbya not only went thru the surplus but wrecked the economy again. Then Obama came along and brought us out of the recession and left Trump with a solid economy which Trump and his incompetent administration are in the process of ruining with tariffs and total ignorance of how the world works. 

Iowa Congressmoron Steve (Just Plain Stupid) King defended his reasons for not allowing exceptions for abortions in cases of rape or incest by asking if there would be any population if not for rape and incest. Being the good Christian I’m assuming he was guided by the Bible story of Cain killing his brother Able so he could have his wife.  Wait…What? Where did Able’s wife come from? Only two answers, incest or it was the world’s first mail-order bride service.  

Trump asked Israeli Prime Minister Benni (I’m A Nut Job) Netanyahu, who by the way is under almost as many investigations as Trump, to bar Congresswomen Omar and Tlaib from coming into Israel.  And being the stooge that he is, he said yes. Wait, I thought Trumpoo wanted them to leave America. I guess that was last week.

Stay tuned for future adventures.