Road Trip

Once again the bus is gassed and loaded and we are too.  I invite you to keep on dancing until our return.




Stay tuned for future adventures.

Thanks For The Memories

No I’m not going to write about Bob Hope who always sang “Thanks for the memories” at the end of his TV show or about the Hollywood starlet who told her plastic surgeon, “thanks for the mammarys.”  I had some comments last week which referred to me as “ole weird Rod” instead of “old wrinkled Rod” which is a more current reference.

Speaking of these memories, there is a great little book available on Amazon by the name of San Antonio Radio Memories.  It is collection of stories told by a number of different DJ’s who worked in the San Antonio radio market through the years. My contribution to the book was this.  

The Story of Ole Weird Rod

By Rod Tanner

Some of my fondest memories in my radio career are from the three years I spent at KONO Radio, a top-forty format in San Antonio when personality radio was in its hey-day.  I came to work at KONO in the summer of 1969 and left in the fall of 1972.  I became very good friends with B. Bailey Brown who was doing afternoon-drive. At some point B. began calling me Ole Weird Rod because I did a lot of goofy things on the air, used a lot of drop-ins and pretty well bent the format as far as I could.  Before long everyone was calling me Ole Weird Rod, including myself.  I think I truly did some funny stuff on the air but the funniest thing that ever happened at the station was actually off the air.

I was doing the 9 til-midnight shift.  Back then we had a live newsman until midnight. The station had gone through a number of newsmen in the period of a year.  Every time they hired a new guy my main goal was to try to break them up on the air at least once.  My latest newsman was Rudy Rocha and I had been trying to crack him up for a couple weeks without success.  One night after Rudy had started into the news I had gone for a bathroom break.  Till this day I still have no idea what possessed me to do this but I took off my shirt and wrapped myself from the waist to the top of my head with toilet paper.

I knew Rudy was getting close to ending his newscast so I slipped back into the control room.  The door to the control room was at the back of the room so I could step into it unseen until the last moment.  There was a large window on the right of the control room that looked into the news room and a second large window on the left side that looked into the KITY control room which at that time played classical music and was the only thing that Jack Roth, the owner, ever listened to. 

 At the end of the newscast, Rudy would give the temp and time and I would hit my jock intro to start the next hour.  Rudy would then have about thirty seconds to get ready to repeat the news on KITY at the top of hour.  As Rudy gave the temp and time I lurched out of my hiding place toward the control board and hit my jock intro to start my record. 

           

Rudy looked up and went into hysterics, falling forward and out of his chair.  The jock on KITY, some student who had been tracking classical music and studying his college books, automatically flipped on the news pot and heard nothing but laughter.  He stared big-eyed into the newsroom with a shocked look on his face. Rudy was still cracking up and I was thinking that this was the funniest stunt I had ever pulled. 

What I didn’t realize was that Jocky John Steel, who followed me at midnight, had been over at the Channel 12 Television Studios next door visiting and had brought a couple of executives from ABC in New York to tour the radio stations.  They had evidently walked up about the time I had started all of this.  As I turned around, I saw two men in suits who were gawking at me in all of my toilet paper glory. 

At that point Jocky John Steel deadpanned, “And this is Ole Weird Rod.”

I am very grateful that I was able to work in radio when it really was fun.  Fun for me, fun for the people I worked with and fun for the listener. I don’t think today’s radio is very much fun.  I was fortunate enough to work in markets that were very competitive which forced us to be more creative on the air.   I worked at KXOL where we were in a tough battle with KFJZ.   In San Antonio at KONO, where we went head to head with KTSA and while I was in Denver at KTLK we battled KIMN.   Finally at KRLY in Houston, I was up against KILT and KRBE.  The fun part is that everybody knew everybody and we had fun together. We respected our competition and yet did everything we could do to beat them.  This resulted in radio that was truly entertaining, and the real winner was the listener.

Radio stations use to be owned by people who loved radio and only had a few stations each.  Now they are owned by huge corporations and run by people (mostly lawyers and accountants) who don’t have a clue to what radio is about.  There is no competition and no creativity, just sister stations because most of the radio stations today are owned by four companies.

I don’t spend time grumbling about today’s radio, as I said before everything changes. I am just grateful I got to work in radio with some great talent such as Tim Kelly,  Steve Sellers, John Steel, Bob Moody, Harry Scarbough, Cris Cooper, B.Bailey Brown, Chuck Joseph, Mike Wade, Ron Foster, Ron Seldon, Johnny Shannon, Paul Kirby, Phil Gardner and C.C. McCartney just to name a few.  It was fun and exciting for the people listening and for the folks who were on the air.

I saw this picture on Facebook yesterday with the caption, “We were a different country then.”  I think somebody was having a Jesus moment because it was Easter, because I am pretty sure the picture was taken in the early fifties during the Great Vampire Scare.  It was caused by Senator Joseph (I’ll Drink To That) McCarthy after he told everyone he had a list of all the vampires who worked for the Government.  

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Damn Good Friday

Hey, a big weekend coming up.  It must be a big bake sale because I see the signs everywhere.

 I stopped and ask these folks if they knew the exact date it was happening because I was going to be out of town for a couple of days and didn't want to miss it.  They said that they didn't have a clue and had put the sigh up because attendance had been low and they were trying to drum up a little business. 

This bonehead has got to be a constituent of Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert.  Wayne (I Can’t Pronounce My Name Either) Propst says he has found fossils from when that loving Christian God decided to kill everyone in world with a flood. Self-proclaimed fossil expert Joe (I Studied Fossils At Trump University) Taylor confirmed the fossil was from the time of Noah’s ark.  Wayne also said he had found a bell from Santa’s sleigh, an egg from the Easter Bunny, a foot print in his garden made by Bigfoot and three quarters left by the Tooth Fairy.

We are finally getting down to the real mud slinging in the race to see who can be the sleaziest in the run for the Presidency.  Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump is threatening to “spill the beans” about Texas Senaterrible Rafael (Sleazy & Creepy) Cruz’s wife Heidi.  I don’t know much about her except she is not a Texan or her name would be Heidi Doody.

A new study out has found that not all Trump supporters are stupid.  They found that a large number of his supporters are extremely stupid.

Once again this Sunday many people will be pondering that age old question.  Who came first? The bunny or the egg?

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Working The Land

We had almost six inches of rain week before last and then after a week of sunshine it was finally dry enough to work in the yard.  

This morning the yard looked like this.

This evening it looks like this.

I’m pretty proud.  All I had to work with was my trusty Swiss army knife, an old pair of finger-nail clippers and broken spoon.






Stay tuned for future adventures.

Hump Day

 Here are this week's Humps

 Marco (I Have A Sugar Daddy) Rubio’s campaign to be President has finally run out of water.  Little Marco threw in the towel last night.  He said he was tired of repeating the same ole talking points over and over. 

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott is still obsessed with voter fraud in Texas.  When Greggy Poo was Attorney General of Texas he spent millions of taxpayer money investigating voter fraud and prosecuted two cases in a ten year period.  The chances of finding major voter fraud in Texas is about the same as this asshole getting up out of that chair.

Hey for all of the angry folks out there who say that the boneheads up in Washington D.C. don’t do anything, here is this. Texas Congressmoron Republican Pete (I Should Be Attending Psychiatric) Sessions has proposed a "Resolution to recognize Magic as rare and valuable". I’m pretty sure someone put a spell on little Petey when he wasn’t looking.  

There is a new TV show coming on that’s about the people who are Trump supporters.  They are a mutant strain of humans who are completely impervious to the truth or facts.  It’s called The Walking Dumb.   

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Some Flakes In My Soap Box

CNN’s (Crummy News Network) Wolf (Crummy News Repeater) Blitzer said on the TV last week that Tuesday’s primary election in Florida tomorrow was a “do or die” situation for Marco (I Have A Sugar Daddy) Rubio.  Wow, I didn’t realize that if you didn’t win in Florida you had to kill yourself.

Speaking of Wolf, why does he still have a job?

So the story goes that two actuaries were studying the latest figures from the census as to how many women, men, children, blacks, Latin Americans, Asians and etc make up the country.  One of them commented, “I wonder how many morons there are in the country?”  At that point Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump entered the room and said, “Let me help you with that.  I can give you a head count.”

I found this quote from one of my favorite writers.

And I thought this was what she was talking about.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

Politicans, Preachers And Pimps

Once again I don’t have anything about pimps in this, I just like the way the title rolls off the tongue.  Sorta like a combination department store and car lot as in Bed, Bath and Buicks.  Also I really believe that pimps actually provide a service as where politicians and preachers sure as hell don’t.  Of course I know that some would say that preachers are pimps for Jesus, but pimping for a fictional character doesn’t count in my books.

Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson who finally opened his eyes long enough to see that there was no light at the end of the tunnel for Presidential campagin has decided to endorse Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump for President.  Ole sleepy head Carson said there were two Trumps.  Oh goody, he thinks we should have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for President.

Evidently the four remaining candidates running for President were replaced last night at the final Republican debate debacle by pod people.   There were no fist fights, mud wrestling, gun fights, name calling or any really embarrassing actions by any of them. 

Florida Pastor Carl (High On God, Low On I.Q.) Gallup has endorsed Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump and Trump was thrilled about it.  The good pastor also believes that the Sandy Hook massacre of children was a giant government hoax.  Carl says nobody was killed; it was just a Obama trick to take away guns.  

Franklin (Daddy Was A Little Off, I’m A Complete Idiot) Graham is pushing for America to become a Theocracy.  I guess little Frankie thinks Iran is a great role model.

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Stay tuned for future adventures.

Monday's Quickies

Last week’s Republican debate debacle finally got down to what it’s really all about.  Who has the biggest dick? 

Oh boy another Christian Republican who doesn’t believe in helping people.  Utah Senator Mike (Everyone For Themselves) Lee is blocking the bill to help folks in Flint, Michigan.  Mike’s facebook page says he is a Mormon, but I believe that is a typo.  He’s actually a Moron.  

I saw this headline on MSNBC yesterday, “Is Cruz Closing The Gap.”  I had no idea Creepy Cruz owned The Gap. 

Best quote of the weekend was from Marco ( I’ve Got A Sugar Daddy) Rubio who said, “the map only gets better for us.”  Little Marky was in San Juan, Puerto Rico when utter those words. I have to agree with him because his campaign is definitely going south.

Stay tuned for future adventures.

A Few Bubbles From My Soap Box

I had to run some errands the first thing this morning and before I knew it, I had received two “Have a good day,” three “Have a good un’” and one “Have a blessed day.”  Suddenly I have the pressure of having a good day.  I started out just wanting to get through the day, but oh no, now I have to have a good day.  

A recent survey of Trump Supporters show that they fall into two categories. 

Stupid
And Real Stupid.  

Here is a woman all Texas voters should beware of.  Her name is Mary Lou Bruner and she is running for a seat on the Texas Board of Education.  She believes that dinosaurs were on Noah’s ark, that the earth is only 6000 years old and that the United Nations has a plan to wipe out two-thirds of the world’s population. I’m pretty sure she is Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott’s real mother, but I can’t prove it.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

Break's Over

My readers…. Okay I should say my reader, has responded to my taking a break.  They said that there was too many stupid politicians out there that needed being made fun of and I was the guy to do it, so I have vowed to continue poking as hard as I can.

Super Tuesday is over and we are back to another average Hump Day Wednesday.  Speaking of humps, here in Texas Republican voters once again showed that they like smarmy and sleazy as opposed to blowhard bullies by punching Rafael (Smarmy & Sleazy) Cruz buttons at the ballot box while the rest of the country went for super mouth.

Of course Texas has a long and rich history in smarmy and sleazy when it comes to politicians dating back to Governor Alan (I’ll Give You The) Shivers to today’s Governor Gregg (Hell-On-Wheels) Abbott.

I saw where Supreme Court Justice Clarence (I Really Hate Being Black) Thomas finally asked a question from the bench after ten years of being mute. He wanted to know when Scalia was coming back.

Apparently the F.B.I. is still using dial phones.

Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump said that he was just following the Oscars lead when he had the 30 black students removed from his town hall meeting in Georgia this week.  He went on to say that he was not a racist; he just doesn’t like black people.  The Don also spent some time defending David (If Your White, You’re Alright) Duke and saying that today’s KKK was different.

Old KKK

New KKK

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.