Politicans, Preachers And Pimps

Once again I don’t have anything about pimps in this, I just like the way the title rolls off the tongue.  Sorta like a combination department store and car lot as in Bed, Bath and Buicks.  Also I really believe that pimps actually provide a service as where politicians and preachers sure as hell don’t.  Of course I know that some would say that preachers are pimps for Jesus, but pimping for a fictional character doesn’t count in my books.

Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson who finally opened his eyes long enough to see that there was no light at the end of the tunnel for Presidential campagin has decided to endorse Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump for President.  Ole sleepy head Carson said there were two Trumps.  Oh goody, he thinks we should have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for President.

Evidently the four remaining candidates running for President were replaced last night at the final Republican debate debacle by pod people.   There were no fist fights, mud wrestling, gun fights, name calling or any really embarrassing actions by any of them. 

Florida Pastor Carl (High On God, Low On I.Q.) Gallup has endorsed Donald (Hair-Brained) Trump and Trump was thrilled about it.  The good pastor also believes that the Sandy Hook massacre of children was a giant government hoax.  Carl says nobody was killed; it was just a Obama trick to take away guns.  

Franklin (Daddy Was A Little Off, I’m A Complete Idiot) Graham is pushing for America to become a Theocracy.  I guess little Frankie thinks Iran is a great role model.

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Stay tuned for future adventures.

Harrump Day

22 Republican Governors are showing just how faux Christian they are. They are all for turning down Syrian women and children refugees trying to escape their terrible situation.  I’ll bet Jesus is spinning in his grave. Oh wait, I forgot, he’s not dead, he is the original zombie.

Too bad these assholes and their supporters failed to read in their favorite book about helping the poor and disadvantaged. Their actions just proves that most of them don’t any more read the Bible than the man in the moon does. I mean why should they when they can get all the information they need from Faux News and ignorant boneheads like Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson and Franklin ( Daddy’s Little Moron) Graham. There are over 350,000 churches in this country and as far as I can tell not one church has stepped forward and said they would take a single refugee family.  Gee, what happened to all those folks that keep clamoring how we are a Christian Nation?  Of course if these were Syrian refugee fetuses wanting asylum, it would be a different story.

I get it why Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott announced that he would not let any of the refugees in.  I’m pretty sure he thought the attacks over the weekend were in Paris, Texas.  

All these Republican boneheads want to do is ramp up the fear and paranoia so they can start another useless war. I think these facts from last week’s post bear another look.   

• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 153,144 people were killed by homicide in which firearms were used between 2001 and 2013, the last year that data are available (that number excludes deaths by "legal intervention").
• The Global Terrorism Database — which uses a criteria to determine terrorist attacks but also includes acts of violence that are more ambiguous in goal — estimates that 3,046 people in the U.S. died in terrorist or possible terrorist attacks between 2001 and 2014.

Dr. Ben (Nut Job Surgeon) Carson was asked how he would handle ISIS.  The good dumb doctor said he would bring in a international military coalition.  When asked who would be in that coalition and after much hem hawing around, he said it would probably include the armies of Jupiter, Mars and Saturn.


Stay tuned for future adventures.

More Preachers and Politicans

First of all Billy (Generic Preacher) Graham’s son Franklin( Jesus Loves You, Well Not if You Are Gay) Graham praised Russian President Vladimir Putin-On-a-Show for persecuting gays in Russia and now Billy’s daughter Anne (I’m a Religious Nut Too) Graham Lotz has said that she thinks the missing Malaysian airplane may be part of the  Apocalypse.  I guess Heaven’s immigration is getting out of hand and can only take a plane load of folks at a time.

You know how the Republicans are big on family values; well one of their candidates running for Governor of California is a registered sex offender.  He told the L.A. Times that after he was arrested for picking up under aged prostitutes and was in jail, he found the Lord.   He didn’t say what the Lord was in for.

Another one of those family value Republican bonehead’s, Louisiana Senaterrible David (Who Says You Can’t Buy Love) Vitter, who was busted last year for soliciting prostitutes, told his colleagues last week how patriotic the Koch brothers are.  He said they loved America so much that they were willing to buy every seat in Congress, no matter how much it cost.

Florida Republican Governor Rick (I Thought I Was Elected King) Scott has been accused of campaign violations that could cost him as much as $82 million dollars. The one term Governor has already acquired a reputation of one of the worst Governors in the country.  Wow, it took Rick (All Hair,No Integrity) Perry a couple of terms to get that reputation.  

Jordan (I Am A Certified Crook) Belfort, the original “Wolf of Wall Street” who went to prison for scamming Wall Street investors out of millions of dollars, is selling a seminar on ethical persuasion.  He says it teaches you how to sell things without lying. This bonehead still owes victims nearly $100 million dollars in restitution.  I am pretty sure the Republicans have found their nominee for President in 2016. 

 Stay tuned for future adventures.