Monday Blah Blahs

Talk radio host Kevin ((I Have A Lower I.Q. Than Pat Robertson) Swanson hosted a little gossip session in Iowa this past weekend known as the National Religious Liberties Conference. Kev is also the pastor of The First Church of the Stupid. Their members believe that Eve shouldn’t taken that bite out of the tree of knowledge.  Little Kev is the poster boy for all misogynistic, homophobic assholes everywhere.  He thinks gay people should be stoned to death and that God wrecks havoc with floods and disease on nations that don’t follow his commandments.  

So with credentials like that Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee, Rafael ( I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz and Booby (Jihad) Jindal couldn’t wait to get up there to lick his boots and say really stupid things.  They all agreed that Kim (Homophobic Hick) Davis was a real American and that if they became President, Jesus would be their Vice-President.
 

The latest Republican polls still show Carson and Trump leading, but there is some good news in there.  “None of the Above” has now moved up to number 4.  I don’t think there is a chance in hell of Dr. Ben (NutJob Surgeon) Carson being the Republican nominee, but I do think there is a medical procedure that could extend his run a little bit longer.  He could have his jaw wired shut.

Michele (Section Eight) Bachmann traveled over to Israel to try and convince those folks that Jesus had booked his flight and was heading back so they needed to convert to Christianity. And here in the good ole USA,  Christians are just beside themselves because Starbucks have taken the snowflakes and reindeer off of their Christmas cups and now they are just plain red.  They claim it is more of the "War on Christmas." I am at a loss to explain why having a plan red cup is an assault on Christmas. Maybe they think when Jesus decides to come back, he will be riding Rudolf.    I have said it before but it is worth repeating.  I will be so glad when the rapture gets here and these assholes will be gone.

Between denying climate change, the right for gays to marry, the economic recovery and the decline in unemployment, I think the GOP (Group of Panders) should now be referred to as the GOD (Group of Deniers).  After all it fits their image so well. 



Stay tuned for future adventures.