A quick review of last week's
Republican debate debacle.
We learned that Dr. Ben (NutJob
Neurosurgeon) Carson mumbled that
he had absolutely no involvement with Mannatech, the supplement company that
was fined millions of dollars for fraudulent advertising, other than going
around the country making speech's for them and making videos explaining how
great their products are. He said they have great products which
can cure everything from acne to leprosy and if anybody was feeling a little
nausea from the debate, that he had a couple of cases in the trunk of his car
that he would let go at a bargain.
Former preacher, musician,
Governor and talk show blowhard Mike (I Need A Job) Huckabee told
everyone that he had no weaknesses. In fact he said through the power of
Jesus he could walk on water, heal the sick, and raise the dead. He also
said he was faster than a speeding bullet and could leap tall buildings with a
single bound.
Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I
Don't Have A Clue) Cruz went on a rant about the media and said moderators of
the debate were not asking the questions that the public desperately wanted to
know. Things like what was their favorite color and which TV shows did they
watch. He said since the debate was about economic policies that they
should have been asking questions like, if an apple cost ten cents and Johnny
spent ten dollars, how many apples did he get?
Jeb (At Least I'm Not Neil) Bush got into a big fight with
Marco (I Have A Sugar Daddy) Rubio when he told little Marky that he wasn't
doing his job as a Senator. Rubio immediately fired back, "Am
too" to which Jeb shouted "Are not". This went on for
about 15 minutes until they were both put in "Time out."
New Jersey Governor Chris (I'll Close That Bridge When
I Get To It) Christie only had one thing to say all evening. He
asked if they were going to take a break and have snacks.
Donald (Hair-Brained)
Trump kept asking why he wasn't number one in the polls anymore and said
that if he didn't win the caucus in Iowa,
he was going to build a wall around the state.
When Snarly Carly (I Can Run Any Company Into The Ground)
Fironia was asked if she considered herself a successful CEO, she said, "Hell
yes, I put 21 million dollars in my bank account and scored another 21 million
in stock benefits and if that ain't successful I'll kiss your ass on main
street."
The main thing we learned from last week debacle is that the
moderators were too mean. The RNC
(Republican NutJob Crew) said that debates were not the place to ask tough
questions. They said the tough questions should be asked and answered far, far away from the public and press.
Stay tuned for future adventures
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