Hump Day Of Hump Days

Oh boy, today’s the day that Jade Helm starts. That’s the military exercise that is taking place outside of Bastrop, Texas. You know the one where the Army is going to lock everybody up in the Wal-Mart stores and take away everybody’s guns.  But have no fear, Operation “Counter Jade Helm” or CJH as the locals like to refer to it, is a group of volunteers who are going to be keeping a watch on everything to make sure none of this happens.

The CJH, dumb name by the way, I don’t know why they didn’t call it the Boneheads of Bastrop, anyway, it was started by these three goobers, by Pete ( Paranoid) Lanteri, William (Terrified) Silaghi and John (Unhinged) Spartan. Wow, Lanteri, Silaghi, and Spartan. Now those are three classic Texas names. They claim to have ten thousand volunteers who are going to be driving around in an attempt to document what’s happening.  I figure when you add the army into the mix of ten thousand rubber-neckers, the only problem will be a large number of accidents.

Here is the real part I don’t understand about the CJH. What exactly are they going to do if the Army starts rounding people up? The military has soldiers, guns, tanks, helicopters and airplanes. The only things these bonehead CJH volunteers have are low I.Q.s.

Wisconsin Governor Scott (Kochhead) Walker came out of the gate swinging. Yes sir, he said his first day in office he would repeal Obamacare and terminate the deal with Iran….that is provided he is not in prison. 

It looks like Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump finally pissed off the wrong Mexican.  Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman the drug kingpin who just escaped from prison tweeted The Don and told him he was going come to America and shut him up just as soon as he got his green card.

Stay tuned for future adventures.