Being the anti-government asshole that he is, Texas Senaterrible Rafael (I Don’t Have A Clue) Cruz thinks that the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is doing their job a little too well. After all they just slapped a 700 million dollar fine on Citibank for “deceptive marketing,” “unfair billing,” and “other unlawful practices.” Little Rafael announced that he has introduced legislation to eliminate the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. In others words, clueless Cruz believes bank robbery is ok, as long as it’s banks doing the robbing.
Rafael also said in an interview this week that he believes Captain Kirk of the TV series Star Trek was probably a Republican. Obviously little Rafael didn’t see too many episodes or he would have realized the Klingons were the Republicans in that show.
I have noticed that when Donald (Hair-Brained) Rump talks about how much money he has and what a great businessman he is that he doesn’t talk about his Wall Street experience. Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts lost money every single year that Trump ran it as a public company. 1995 through 2004, the company booked total losses of $647 million dollars. An interesting note, Trump’s competitor Harrah’s Entertainment more than doubled their money. Investors in luxury hotel, casino and resort companies like Starwood and MGM earned returns of more than 400%. Even the plain old stock market index more than doubled.
Sir Don of The Big Mouth also flew down to Texas to meet with the Border Patrol this week. I understand little Donnie was going to give them some tips on how to catch illegals. The boys at the Patrol canceled however saying that their job was dealing with illegal aliens not ignorant assholes. The Don then announced that he loved Mexicans and thinks everyone should have one.
I do believe The Don has managed to change the Grand Ole Party into the Goobers Only Party in a matter of weeks.
Jeb (At Least I’m Not Neil) Bush latest pearls of stupidity to fall out of his mouth is that he thinks we need to get rid of Medicare. Jeb also wants to raise the retirement age to 70 and thinks if a person needs more money he should work longer. Now I get it where his name came from. I’ve gone over this before but I’ll cover it again because we might have a quiz later. Jeb is not a name, it’s his initials. Jaded Elitist Bush.
Stay tuned for future adventures.
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