What A Relief

As most of you who read this little piece of fluff on any kind of consistency know that my sweetie and I through circumstances beyond our control moved here to deep East Texas a few years ago.  Even though there are a few nice folks up here we have felt we have moved to the epicenter of dumbness.

Well you can imagine our relief this past week to discover that we don't  live among the absolute dumbest people in Texas.  No that honor goes to the boneheads who make up Bastrop, Texas.  Bastrop is a little bedroom community about 30 miles outside of Austin.  It is where the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was shot which I’m starting to suspect  was actually a documentary 

The military is conducting an exercise known as Jade Helm 15 outside of Bastrop and a number of the citizens cretins who reside there are positive that it is actually a plan by President Obama to take over Texas.  Of course the military has been doing this exercise for over a decade and it is also being conducted in 5 other states. 

I am pretty sure most of the dimwits in Bastrop have never had an original thought in their entire lives; so it stands to reason that someone planted this little gem in the community.  That someone is Alex ( Mr. Paranoid) Jones, a talk show blow hard and full-time moron.  Delusional Alex also believes the U.S. government was behind the Oklahoma City bombings and 9/11. He also believes the moon landings were faked and that the Sandy Hook elementary school shootings were a government hoax. 

The really good part of this story is that Texas Governor Gregg (Hell On Wheels) Abbott, Texas Senaterrible Edwardo (I Haven’t Got A Clue) Cruz, Texas Congressmoron Louie (I Really Am As Dumb As I Look) Gohmert and washed up, never was, lame martial arts bonehead and really bad actor Chuck (Terminal Short-Man Syndrome) Norris have stuck their two-cents nonsense into the story and not in a good way.  It seems that they have found themselves in a giant quandary.  They don’t know if they should “Support our Troops” or “Fear our troops.”

I would just like to say to Bastrop idiots who are afraid their little villages is going to be taken over by United States of America.  You are a little late, that happened on December 29, 1845.

Stay tuned for future adventures.