Humps Day

I just read where a man in Georgia was trying to holster his gun and shot himself in the penis.  I find that hard to believe.  I didn’t think owners of hand guns had a penis big enough to hit.

Dick (I Really Am a Dick) Cheney and his daughter Liz (My Daddy Is a Dick) Cheney wrote an article in the Wall Street Journal this week saying the crisis in Iraq is all Obama’s fault.  Cheney claims that we won the war in Iraq and he can prove it because he has a picture of Bush standing on a battleship under a sign that said “Mission Accomplished.”  Yessir, ole Dickhead is a true Republican and when it comes to taking responsibility, “Just Say No.”

When it comes to Iraq, Obama gets to legitimately use the Homer Simpson excuse, “It was like that when I got here.”

The captured Benghazi suspect says that the attack on the American Embassy was inspired by an anti-Islam video.  When this came to light, I understand Right-wing, TeaNut Republicans were seen crying, pulling their hair out and mumbling incoherently to themselves.

There is a bit of good news.  Yesterday in an interview, Texas Governor Rick (All Hair, No Brains) Perry said he was considering moving to California.  I say we all meet in Austin tomorrow to help him pack.

Stay tuned for future adventures.