Resolve This

It is almost time to start making brand new resolutions we can break in the coming year.  Coming up with new resolutions at this time of year is quite old.  The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.
With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.
Hey ole two-faced Janus could fit right into our political system, but that’s another post.  Anyway I thought this year I would come up New Year’s resolutions that I could keep.  If you have any you would like to pass along, please do.

THIS YEAR I RESOLVE TO:

Not get any younger.

To eat all the hamburgers, ice cream, cookies and pizza that I want.

Not jump out of an airplane…..without a parachute.

Not attempt to stop a speeding train or bus by standing in front of it.

Not join the Tea Party, Republican Party, Democratic Party, Tupperware parties, pajama parties, or block parties.

Not to hold out any hope of the Houston Texans having a winning season.

To stay up and sleep as late as I want.

Not to join the Roller Derby or World Wrestling Federation.

Not to attempt to climb Mt Everest.

Not to swim the English Channel.

Not to run in the Houston marathon.

Keep breathing.



  AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

A guy in Michigan just returned a library book that he had checked out 76 years ago.  I’m assuming the man is not a graduate of the Evelyn Woods speeding reading school.


Top five unanswered questions in Hollywood for 2010.

1.    Did Ashton Kutcher cheat on Demi Moore?
2.    Is Miley Cyrus becoming the next Lindsay Lohan?
3.    When did Sandra Bullock really find out that Jesse had strayed?
4.    Does America really like Briston Palin or did the producers with “Dancing With The Stars” rig the results?
5.    Is Mel Gibson really mentally impaired?


And the answer to all five questions………



                            WHO CARES………


Stay tuned for future adventures and look for more Sleeps Til Noon at www.hotslop.com