Happy Valentine Day

 

My sweetie said, “Be my funny valentine.” So I tickled her fancy.

Another Super Bowl is history and this one will go down as a rare one. A Good Game.  I saw Snoop Dog on the Super Bowl half time show.  He looked pretty good for someone 497 years old.

As I have said before, one of the big things in East Texas is bigotry.  One of the local TV stations has been promoting Black History month. So far, they have acknowledged Clint Black and Jack Black.

Alabama Senator Tommy (Tainted) Tuberville said last week that a proposal to ban members of Congress from trading stock would “really cut back” on the number of people “willing to serve”. I believe what he really meant was that it would cut back on people willing to serve themselves.

We are binging on the new Reacher series on Prime Video. If you are a fan of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series, you will love this. It will make you want to go slap Tom Cruise.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

T.G.I.F.

 

The big day is almost here. You can almost count down the hours and on the day, there will be some celebrating and some disappointment.  There will be good feelings and there will be hurt feelings. There will be talk of wait until next year, that things will be different.  It is a day that has been on the calendar all year and for those who missed it, they will be sorry. I’m of course talking about Valentine’s Day on Monday.

Colorado Congressmoron Lauren (Bobble Head) Boebert compared herself to Jesus in an interview this past week. She apparently got her wish; I understand she was crucified on Twitter and Facebook.

Texas Congressmoron Louie (Dumbest Man in Congress) Gohmert accused the Justice Department of reading his mail. I understand they did try to read his mind but couldn’t find anything.

I saw where former President and Wana-be DICKtator Trumpypoo would tear up important papers and reports after he read them. I’m not buying it. I don’t believe that dipshit ever read anything

It appears Congressmoron Marjorie Traitor Green has watched Senifeld’s episode of the “Soup Nazi” too many times.

QAnon (Quackrey Assholes Narrating Obscene Notions) has decided that the Walt Disney Company is a satanic cult. I think it has to do with Mickey not wearing any pants.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

 

MEMORIES

 

I have been seeing post on FB saying “Do you remember when” or “Remember the good old days”, so I gave it some thought and came up with a few of my memories.

 

I was raised in Texas where high school football is king. I remember getting two letters in football, one asking me to not come back and the second telling me to bring the equipment back.

I remember the first girl I dated in high school asking if I wanted to go all the way and I said, “How far is it?”

I remember the counselor in college asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said, “Taller.”

I remember when I first started working in radio, I got into a hassle with management because they had made a mistake on my paycheck. They misspelled chicken feed.

I remember at another radio station the general manager telling me that since I had been on the air, more radios had sold than ever before. I said, “Really?” and he said, yeah, he had even sold his.

I remember when I went to work for Atlantic records they said I had to take a drug test. I asked, oral or  written.

I remember being kicked out of my first apartment complex. I said everybody pees in the pool and they said not from the diving board.

I remember when Diana first said that I should start blogging and I said no way. I don’t like the music and I hate those shoes.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

Some of This And More of That

 

I tried to watch some of the Winter Olympics in Beijing but there was so much snow on the screen I gave up.  Come to find out, my cable had gone out.

The Super Bowl will be this Sunday. Even though the game is supposed to be between the two best teams in football, it seldom is very good, but after a week of mind-numbing interviews with every coach, every player and everyone who ever watched all the previous Super Bowls, the game will seem exciting. I understand early in the year the NFL was considering changing the name to National Tom Brady Day, but that is off the table. Tom’s appearance in the Super Bowl this year will be section 10, seat 12.

NASCAR held it’s first race ever in the Los Angeles Coliseum.  There were lots of wrecks and damaged cars, but that was the fans trying to make it through the LA traffic to get to the event.  The race was mostly clean.

Texas seems to have made it through the winter freeze ok.  I am surprised we didn’t get any long speeches from Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott, Lt. Governor Goober Dan (Pig-Face) Patrick or Senator Ted (I Haven’t Got a Clue) Cruz.  All that hot air would have helped.

We have been added to a hit list and now receive about 30 annoying, enraging, time consuming, aggravating robo calls a day, so I have decided to change the message on our answering machine.  “We are not here right now and if you are a robo caller, we will never ever be here. If you are someone trying to sell me something, please leave your home phone number and I will call you back around supper time. If you are that nice man from India calling about my car warranty, I drive a 1948 Hudson. If you are the person who continues to try to sell me medical supplies, you can’t fix what ails me.  If you called our number by mistake, please try not to make the same mistake again and if you are really a friend, where have you been? You never call or write. Was it something I said?”  I now believe AT&T stands for All Tacky Talk.

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

A Geography Lesson

 

I have noticed people referring to the place where I live as deep East Texas.  I guarantee there is absolutely nothing deep about East Texas.  I’ll admit it is knee deep in racism, conspiracy theories and low I.Q. politicians like Congressmoron Louie Gohmert, but that is certainly nothing to brag about.

 

I have been trying to figure out if Republican voters in Georgia are slow-witted, dull, stupid, obtuse, ignorant, bemused, absurd or simply uninformed.  After I read that they still think Hershel (I’ve Been Hit in in the Head Way Too Many Times) Walker is a viable candidate for Senator, I have decided that they’re just assholes.

 

In Florida, over five thousand residents have complained that when they received their voter registration cards in the mail, they discovered they had been illegally changed from Democrat to Republican voters. I think this is all part of the Republican Party’s new motto, “If you can’t beat em, cheat em.”

 

In Llano, Texas the Llano County commissioners have decided to remove the library online service Overdrive. Sounds to me like the Llano County commissioners need to be removed.

 

In McMinn County, Tennessee they had a good old fashioned book burning event. It was organized by Mt. Juliet pastor Greg (I Have God on Speed Dial) Locke. Besides being an “Arsonist for Jesus”, Greg is a big pro-Trump conspiracy theorist.   

 

In Washington D.C. the Republican National Committee said that January 6^th, 2021 was just “ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse.”  That’s like saying on December 7^th, 1941, Ordinary Japanese pilots were performing a legitimate air show over Pearl Harbor.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

More Bubbles From My Soapbox

 

They say everything is bigger in Texas. Here are some of the biggest boneheads on the planet:

Texas Governor Gregg (Hell-on-Wheels) Abbott said today that there is no guarantee that the electrical grid won’t go down again.  So far about 70,000 Texans are sitting with no lights proving him right.  As the temperatures go down, I’m pretty sure this number will go up. Sure would like to see him put out in the cold next election.

Texas Lt. Governor Goober Dan (Pig-Face) Patrick doesn’t have to worry about freezing his balls off because he doesn’t have any.

Texas Senator Ted (I Haven’t Got A Clue) Cruz must have thought he was being clever today when he twitted a rant saying “inflation is out of control” and listed gas, food and lumber prices and then said, “and tickets to Cancun are up 32%.” This dipshit is about as funny as a train wreck.

A parent in the school district of Katy, Texas wants them to remove Michelle Obama’s book from the school library because she says it promotes “reverse racism.”  The only thing backward here is that bonehead.

 

 

And Now For Something Completely Different

 

The Whooping Crane festival is coming up in Port Aransas, Texas in March. Remember if you’ve seen 800 whooping cranes, you’ve seen them all.

I understand there is a new modern fairy tale being released based on Trump followers.  It will be called Guillible’s Travels.

Did you know there is a second Goldilocks fairy tale?  It is Goldilocks and The Three Pigs. I understand it is about the origin of “Pigs in a Blanket”

According to the Chinese New Year, the Cincinnati Bengals will win the Super Bowl.

We just had another Groundhog Day which I don’t give much attention to.  I prefer Boss Hog Day which says there will be six more weeks of harassing the Dukes of Hazzard and Daisy.

 

Stay tuned for future adventures

 

 

Small Talk From Small Minds

 

Conversations overheard at the Trump Cult meeting in Conroe, Texas this past weekend:

 Woman: Hey Fred, how are you?

Fred: Great, just got a letter from the electric company saying it was my final notice.

Woman: Really?

Fred; Yep, I’m a happy camper.  I’m sick of having to pay that sucker every month.

 

Man: Did you have trouble parking?

Man: Not at all, Bill and I rode my donkey here so we wouldn’t have to park a car.

Man: Hope you can find it when this is over. Quite a few people rode donkeys today.

Man: Shouldn’t be a problem. Ours is different. When we came in, I heard someone say “look at those two assholes on that donkey.”

 

Woman: Do you think he is going to ask us to march up to the capitol?

Woman: God I hope not, these heels are not made for walking that far.

 

Man:  Have you seen many people you know?

Man: A few I go to KKK meetings with.

Man: You think he will go with Pence again to be his running mate?

Man: Naw, I heard he was going to pick JFK…..or his son.

 

Woman: Did you go to D.C. on the 6^th?

Man: No, I wanted to, but it violated the conditions of my parole.

 

 

Woman: I heard they were thinking about removing some books from the school library.

Woman: Oh I hope they take out those terrible Harry Potter books.

Woman: What was so terrible about them?

Woman: I don’t know. I didn’t read em. I don’t read books.

 

Man:  Do you think the whole family is going to be here.

Man: I don’t know. Those two boys are dipshits, but that Ivanka is a looker.

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for future adventures.