Congress finally agreed on something. They decided that the vacation that they just
returned from was not long enough so they voted to take another eight weeks off
and left town. Apparently they believe
in old adage, “When the going gets tough, the tough go home.”
TV evangelist Pat (I Have God on Speed Dial) Robertson of
the 700 Club (that’s their total number of viewers) is just beside himself that
the Air Force has decided to drop the phrase “So help me God” from their oath.
Evidently Pat believes that if you don’t have God for a co-pilot, the plane
will fall out of the sky like a lead balloon. I understand the Air Force is
replacing the phrase with “so help me aerodynamics.”
The NFL (Numerous Felons League) is still the hot topic in
scandal news. A report shows that 57
players have been arrested on domestic violence charges while Roger (MoneyBall)
Goodell has been commissioner. The 32 owners say they back Roger a hundred
percent but are thinking about changing his title from commissioner to warden.
Another responsible gun owner has made the news. A man in Florida
was showing his sister at her birthday party how he could twirl his gun when he
dropped it. It went off and shot his sister in the neck killing her deader than
Elvis. The police have not charged him.
They said being extremely stupid is not against the law.
Senaterrible Lindsay (I Want My Mommie….Oh, and Another Mint
Julep) Graham is positive that those ISIS boneheads are
going to come over here and kill us all.
Let’s just see how they rate against the US of A.
USA. ISIS
Army….Yes
Army…None
Navy….Yes Navy…None
Air Force…Yes
Air Force…None
Total USA Military 1,369,532
Total number of
boneheads
With guns and swords to cut
People’s heads off.
30,000
Don’t get me wrong. ISIS
members are a bunch of deranged, twisted assholes who will kill people and they
all need to be put away, but there is no way they can take over the world. Ebola is way more scary than ISIS.
Stay tuned for future adventures.
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